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Episode: Making 'mum friends'

Author: BBC Radio
Duration: 00:06:33

Episode Shownotes

Is making new ‘mum friends’ the positive experience it’s often described as?Find a full transcript and worksheet for this episode to help you with your English at: https://www.bbc.co.uk/learningenglish`/english/features/6-minute-english_2024/ep-241205SUBSCRIBE` TO OUR NEWSLETTER: ✔️ https://www.bbc.co.uk/learningenglish`/newslettersFIND` BBC LEARNING ENGLISH HERE: Visit our website ✔️ https://www.bbc.co.uk/learningenglish Follow us ✔️ https://www.bbc.co.uk/learningenglish/followusLIKE PODCASTS? Try some of

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Full Transcript

00:00:00 Speaker_03
This BBC podcast is supported by ads outside the UK. Hello. This is 6 Minute English from BBC Learning English. I'm Neil.

00:00:16 Speaker_07
And I'm Beth. Do you remember your first day at school, Neil?

00:00:20 Speaker_03
Yes, I do. I changed schools quite a lot when I was a kid so I had lots of first days and they were never easy. How about you, Beth?

00:00:30 Speaker_07
Well, my mum always tells this story about how I was crying a lot on my first day, but apparently as soon as she left, I was quite happy. So my mum spent the day being a bit sad and I was completely fine.

00:00:47 Speaker_03
Well, yes, starting school and making new friends is difficult for many children, but it's not just the kids who find it challenging.

00:00:56 Speaker_03
For mums and dads who drop their kids off at the school gates in the morning and pick them up again at the end of the school day, making friends with other mums can be just as hard.

00:01:06 Speaker_07
Here, BBC presenter Nuala McGovern discusses this problem using the term mum friends.

00:01:13 Speaker_00
So if you are a mum dropping off or picking up the kids this week, how do you feel about hanging out with other mum friends? I find that term kind of interesting as well. Mum friends, I never call friends, I call them mum friends.

00:01:25 Speaker_00
Do you struggle to make those relationships or do you thrive on them or are you perfectly happy without them?

00:01:31 Speaker_03
Mum friends are usually the mums of other children in your child's class at school. They might go for coffee together, help out with babysitting or chat about being a mother.

00:01:42 Speaker_03
But is making new mum friends really the positive experience it's often described as, or an additional stress for already overworked mothers? That's what we'll be discussing in this programme, along with some useful new vocabulary.

00:01:57 Speaker_07
And if the idea of mum friends is new to you, why not take a minute to read through the list of vocabulary before you listen? It's easy to find on our website, bbclearningenglish.com.

00:02:09 Speaker_03
Now, Beth, I have a question for you. Another term often associated with mum friends is playdate – a time that parents arrange for their children to play together. But according to the Oxford English Dictionary, where does the term playdate come from?

00:02:27 Speaker_03
Is the origin in… a), Australia, b), New Zealand or c), the United States of America?

00:02:34 Speaker_07
I'm going to guess the USA – C.

00:02:37 Speaker_03
OK. Feeling confident?

00:02:39 Speaker_07
Yes.

00:02:40 Speaker_03
Well, we'll see at the end of the programme. For some mums, dropping their kids off at school reminds them of when they themselves were little and under pressure to make friends.

00:02:49 Speaker_03
Listen as mum Jane Cherrington-Cook describes these feelings to BBC Radio 4 programme Woman's Hour.

00:02:56 Speaker_06
The school gates take you back to being back at school. It's like you said, a high school clique. You've got the sporty mums over there, you've got the glam mums over there.

00:03:04 Speaker_06
And if you don't fit into one of those, it's really, really difficult to navigate. And yet you're all there just because your children were born in the same year. It's a really weird thing.

00:03:18 Speaker_07
Jane says that mums often form cliques, small groups of people who like spending time together and seem unfriendly towards others.

00:03:26 Speaker_07
For example, at Jane's daughter's school, there's a clique of sporty mums and a clique of glam mums who put on makeup and dress up. Jane uses the adjective glam as a shortened form of the word glamour, meaning attractive and exciting.

00:03:41 Speaker_03
Problems start when someone doesn't fit into one of the cliques. If you fit into a group of people, you feel you belong and are accepted, probably because you are similar to them.

00:03:51 Speaker_07
So, some mums feel rejected from cliques and worry about their children being left out of playdates. But other mums don't mind. If people want to be friends, that's fine. And if they don't, that's fine too.

00:04:03 Speaker_07
Being a mum is hard enough without adding more stress. Jane definitely belongs to this group, as she explains to BBC Radio 4's Woman's Hour.

00:04:14 Speaker_06
I think I'd had some really bad experiences at baby groups where you're trying to make your child do yoga or paint when they're four months old and trying to bond with these other women and I just thought this is ridiculous and I pretty much straight away realised it was going to be just down to luck if I met somebody that I clicked with.

00:04:32 Speaker_03
Jane says it's down to luck if she makes mum friends. If you say something is down to luck, you mean it depends on chance rather than any skill or effort you make.

00:04:43 Speaker_03
But there's always the possibility you'll meet someone and click with them – become friends as soon as you start talking.

00:04:50 Speaker_07
Well, I know something that isn't down to luck, Neil – the answer to your question.

00:04:55 Speaker_03
Ah yes, I asked you about the origin of the term play date. Which country does it come from?

00:05:02 Speaker_07
I think it's the USA.

00:05:04 Speaker_03
Well, Beth, you are right. So well done. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, Playdate was first used in the Lincoln Daily Star newspaper in Nebraska, USA in 1915.

00:05:17 Speaker_07
OK, let's recap the vocabulary we've learnt, starting with playdate – an arrangement that parents make for their young children to play together.

00:05:26 Speaker_03
A clique is a small group of people who spend a lot of time together and may seem unfriendly towards other people.

00:05:33 Speaker_07
Glam is short for glamorous, meaning visually attractive and exciting.

00:05:38 Speaker_03
If you fit into a group of people, you belong and feel accepted by them because you're similar to them.

00:05:44 Speaker_07
If you say something is down to luck, you mean that it depends on chance or luck, rather than any skill or effort you make.

00:05:52 Speaker_03
And finally, if you click with someone, you feel a friendly and positive connection when you meet them for the first time. Once again, our time is up.

00:06:00 Speaker_03
Why not head over to the BBC Learning English website to find a quiz and worksheet for this programme while it's still fresh in your mind. See you again soon. Goodbye for now.

00:06:09 Speaker_01
Bye. 6 Minute English from bbclearningenglish.com Want more from BBC Learning English?

00:06:21 Speaker_02
Test your level with our online quizzes, learn new phrases from your favourite presenters and find transcripts of our programmes to help you read along. Head to our website bbclearningenglish.com

00:06:42 Speaker_04
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00:06:56 Speaker_05
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00:07:03 Speaker_04
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00:07:17 Speaker_05
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00:07:28 Speaker_04
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00:07:43 Speaker_04
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00:07:47 Speaker_05
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00:08:01 Speaker_05
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00:08:16 Speaker_05
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00:08:37 Speaker_05
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00:08:48 Speaker_04
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