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Episode: "Hugh Grant"

Author: Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett
Duration: 00:58:01

Episode Shownotes

This week, Hugh Grant joins us pre-coffee and commando. Diplomacy, an evil Champagne Baron, the Shanks, Greed & Laziness, and the very slippery slope of douchebaggery. “The whole thing started by mistake,” it’s an all-new SmartLess. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to new episodes ad-free and

a whole week early.

Summary

In this episode of "SmartLess," hosts Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, and Will Arnett converse with actor Hugh Grant, who humorously shares experiences from his life and career. The conversation touches on topics like fatherhood, his journey into acting and the nuances of communication in marriage. Grant reflects on the impact of romantic comedies, the challenges of navigating fame, and his desire to balance artistic integrity with commercial success. The dialogue is filled with insights on the complexities of human experiences, underscored by humor and candid anecdotes.

Go to PodExtra AI's episode page ("Hugh Grant") to play and view complete AI-processed content: summary, mindmap, topics, takeaways, transcript, keywords and highlights.

Full Transcript

00:00:05 Speaker_02
Hey guys, I'm off to the supermarket to do some grocery shopping, and I thought you guys would like to know what's on my list. Here we go, ready?

00:00:13 Speaker_02
Yogurt, granola, tomato sauce, ketchup, dried fruit, baked beans, nut butter, chocolate milk, cereal bars, bread, condiments, salad dressings, protein bars, candy, tea, crackers, energy drinks, canned fruit, juice, coffee, soda, ice cream, barbecue sauce, and cakes.

00:00:24 Speaker_02
Welcome to Smart List. I had a great day yesterday. Yesterday, remember we were talking about my heart bullshit? Oh yeah. Did you get a new one yesterday? No, I didn't get a new one, but I went to eat lunch by myself. I had really bad sushi.

00:00:56 Speaker_02
Then I went and got, I bought two books and I had an ice cream cone on the way home. I was like, this is it. This is solo? This is by myself.

00:01:03 Speaker_03
This is to make your heart better?

00:01:06 Speaker_02
Yeah, it was. And then I went into the bookstore. Hey, by the way, do bookstores make you want to poop a little bit? Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? No, I don't. There's something about just standing on your feet that long. I think gravity takes over.

00:01:18 Speaker_02
No, but it's like the coziness of a bookstore, the coziness of like a pharmacy, you know? No? Hang on. Or like a gift shop. Sorry, coziness? No. Yeah, there was a comparison between a bookstore and a pharmacy.

00:01:32 Speaker_02
Well, yeah, just like the coat, like the quietness of it and the coziness of it. It really gets my stomach going.

00:01:38 Speaker_01
This hypochondriac finds pharmacies comforting and cozy.

00:01:43 Speaker_03
So JB, a bookstore is a place where...

00:01:48 Speaker_02
Okay. Which seems like a perfect segue to go into something we should talk about just for two seconds. Smartless Media is now doing a new show called Clueless. Yes. I've heard about this. Yes, you both were on an episode, actually our first episode. Yeah.

00:02:06 Speaker_02
And it's out now. This is not a podcast starring Alicia Silverstone, right? No, this is, that is correct.

00:02:11 Speaker_01
It stars the host

00:02:13 Speaker_02
The host is Elliot Kalin. He's the former head writer of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Mystery Science Theater 3000, a bunch of great stuff. He's so funny, and I'm the permanent contestant. You're the clue-less part of it, he's the clue-full part.

00:02:27 Speaker_02
That's exactly right. It's like 10 to 12 minute episodes of just puzzle podcasts, and it's super fun. So they're little sprints.

00:02:33 Speaker_02
Yeah, you can like try to solve it while you're driving or listening to the show, and it's only 10 minutes and it's super fun.

00:02:38 Speaker_01
Will, how long do you take playing Wordle each day, Will? Yeah. What was it take for you to get through Wuertle? Pretty quick. Pretty quick, because you usually bust real fast, right? You just guess, guess, guess, guess, I'm out.

00:02:50 Speaker_03
I sure don't. I would stack my Wuertle in timing and also success rate against yours any day.

00:02:58 Speaker_01
No, no, you're definitely smarter than me.

00:03:00 Speaker_03
Anyway, so Clueless is coming up, it's great, you should listen to it.

00:03:03 Speaker_01
It takes no longer than the average person would take to solve Wordle. If you're super bright like Will Arnett.

00:03:10 Speaker_02
It's fun, it's fun. It's a super fun show, it's super fun games, and it premieres Monday, November 18th, and I'm on every episode, and I play with family and friends, and you guys were kind enough to do the first episode. It was a lot of fun.

00:03:21 Speaker_02
Yeah, I liked it a lot. It's all for SmartList Media, which is fun. Uh, and that's our little pledge. Just check it out, bros. Yeah.

00:03:28 Speaker_03
Yeah. Yos. And, and gals. Um, hey, listen. Speaking of checking out. Yeah. You know what I like to check out? Uh-oh. Here he comes. Are the films of our guest today. You're like, oh. Mm-hmm.

00:03:44 Speaker_03
Well, and I don't think that I'm alone because I read somewhere that I think that our guests' films have grossed north of $4 billion worldwide. Wow. That's strong. That's a very strong number.

00:03:58 Speaker_01
And what's even stronger about it... I hope this person had a nice definition.

00:04:03 Speaker_03
Well, I wonder if they did. What's even stronger about it is... Oh, Tracy, that's a profit participation. is the fact that they're so varied in the types of films they are. And some of them are sort of what you would consider sort of indie type films.

00:04:18 Speaker_03
Some of them are what you would consider to be sort of comedies. Some are what you might consider to be romantic comedies. Some you might consider to be just straight up dramas. Some would be period pieces. Everything. Everything. And in addition,

00:04:37 Speaker_03
to the financial reward, our guest has also been rewarded with loads of nominations and wins for SAGs and Golden Globes and BAFTAs and Emmys. Oh, it's the smarty. I mean, this person... Or he. He. He's the smarty.

00:04:55 Speaker_02
He's the smarty.

00:04:56 Speaker_03
He has been such a part of the film landscape for so long. I know that, I imagine he's embarrassed by my intro, but he shouldn't be because he has done everything. He's taught us about love, actually.

00:05:09 Speaker_03
He's taught us about what it's supposed to be about a boy. He's done it all and now he has a new horror film called Heretic. You guys, it's Hugh Grant from what you do not know.

00:05:18 Speaker_01
The one and only Hugh Grant.

00:05:20 Speaker_02
Look at this guy.

00:05:21 Speaker_01
Do I take this off? Yes, take it off.

00:05:23 Speaker_02
Oh, look at this guy. No, not the shirt. Not the shirt. It's a silver fox. Guys, we got a silver fox on today.

00:05:30 Speaker_03
It is the one and only Hugh Grant. Hugh Grant, welcome to Smart Less. It's very nice of you to have me. Good morning.

00:05:37 Speaker_02
Yeah, this is really cool. I only met you once on the street of New York City, and I said, Hugh Grant. You said, hello. That's it.

00:05:45 Speaker_00
Wow.

00:05:45 Speaker_02
In a dismissive... No, you were very nice. Cold kind of way.

00:05:49 Speaker_00
No, no, no. I'm not a very nice man.

00:05:51 Speaker_05
Oh, that's good.

00:05:55 Speaker_01
We're all the same. That's entirely untrue, I'm sure. So, did Sean yell it too loud and everyone then stopped and wanted to take a picture?

00:06:05 Speaker_00
No, you were... I don't know. I was probably a bit hungover and grumpy. There you go. No, no. Did I have a child with me? I've got millions. And that noise makes me unpleasant.

00:06:20 Speaker_03
Get in line.

00:06:22 Speaker_02
How many kids do you have?

00:06:24 Speaker_00
Well, we think it's five. But I had them much too old in life. You know, I started when I was 52. And now, you know, I... Your first kid, you were 52.

00:06:36 Speaker_01
Wow.

00:06:37 Speaker_00
Yeah, no, I'm 64, you know, and the youngest is six. And I need a long stint in a sanatorium or an abbey. I often look at the abbey that Maria lives in in The Sound of Music and wish I lived there.

00:06:52 Speaker_03
What about one of those old, like really old monasteries that they built at tops of mountains that are accessible by just like a very narrow path?

00:07:01 Speaker_00
I'm frightened of monks. I don't mind nuns.

00:07:06 Speaker_01
Are you in Los Angeles right now?

00:07:08 Speaker_00
I've just arrived last night. I've come to bang the drum for my film. I'm from London.

00:07:15 Speaker_01
How is that flying this way? Is it harder coming this way than it is going the other?

00:07:20 Speaker_00
It's brutal both ways, I find. I can't do it anymore. I think that's another age thing. I woke up hours ago very, very hungry, and it felt like my heart is made of Play-Doh. Do you have Play-Doh?

00:07:35 Speaker_01
Yeah, we have Play-Doh.

00:07:36 Speaker_00
Yeah, of course. Nice to eat it.

00:07:37 Speaker_01
Sean's got a doctor for you.

00:07:38 Speaker_03
I've got some upstairs.

00:07:39 Speaker_03
Hugh, you should know this, that Sean, two, three nights ago, woke up in the middle of the night with a heart issue, drove himself to Cedars-Sinai, didn't wake up his husband, drove himself to Cedars-Sinai, they brought the paddles out, they put him under, they paddled him, he drove home.

00:07:56 Speaker_03
An hour later, he woke up to use the bathroom again and drove himself back to Cedars and got paddled again.

00:08:02 Speaker_02
Yeah, and then went to dinner that night.

00:08:04 Speaker_03
So you're jet-lagged by comparison, and I'm not saying this to make you feel bad.

00:08:09 Speaker_02
Well, no, you are, and I... That's working. Yeah.

00:08:14 Speaker_00
I feel humiliated.

00:08:15 Speaker_02
But by God, Hugh, you look fucking great.

00:08:19 Speaker_01
Yeah. Yeah, you do. No, I don't. You do, I'm telling you. You do. You've managed to keep it going all this time.

00:08:25 Speaker_00
Do you know what I forgot to bring? Because I'm a bad packer. Underwear. So I'm talking to you commando this morning. I feel a little bit exciting.

00:08:35 Speaker_01
I had a stint with that. I went a couple years with that.

00:08:38 Speaker_03
Yeah, let's not go down that, Jason, because we know what happened.

00:08:41 Speaker_01
I'm not interested in going down it again.

00:08:42 Speaker_03
Well, the details on it or not are a little sordid, let's be honest.

00:08:45 Speaker_02
I used to wear boxers in college. I just didn't, I thought, because I was supposed to, and I was just like, it's dumb. I don't get boxers.

00:08:51 Speaker_01
It's useless.

00:08:52 Speaker_02
That's a miserable experience.

00:08:53 Speaker_01
They don't provide any, like, worth at all.

00:08:56 Speaker_00
I like to be cupped. Yeah, exactly. You like to be cupped.

00:08:59 Speaker_03
That's good. Yeah, he likes to be cupped. And Jay, how do you go now? Do you not wear any undergarments?

00:09:06 Speaker_01
No, no, no. I'm into the boxer briefs now. It's a semi, semi, semi cup. Yeah, same. Okay. I think that's the answer.

00:09:13 Speaker_03
So Hugh, we can, listen, and feel free to say no, we can send somebody over with a variety if you'd like.

00:09:22 Speaker_00
No, I've already asked a concierge in a hotel to provide some. He looked surprised. I'll go shopping.

00:09:33 Speaker_03
Hugh Grant, honestly, you know, I do feel... I'm sorry to say, you're one of those sort of film stars that I feel like, because I've seen you in so many films, I feel like, oh yeah, well, it's Hugh Grant, whom I know from earlier.

00:09:46 Speaker_03
And there is that sort of familiarity that we have through roles. And you have done so many different, and now... I think I'm safe to say you're doing something that is completely new.

00:10:00 Speaker_03
Now you're doing this sort of horror film, if you will, for lack of a better word, right?

00:10:05 Speaker_02
Oh, yeah.

00:10:06 Speaker_03
I love it.

00:10:06 Speaker_00
No, that is correct. We can call it horror, or we can call it psychological thriller. Yeah. Perhaps for people who are frightened of horror films, like me.

00:10:17 Speaker_01
We can also call it one of the last remaining viable genres for theatrical distribution.

00:10:22 Speaker_00
Yes, that's true. Why is that? Explain that to me.

00:10:25 Speaker_01
I'll bet you it's because people like to have the scare be a shared experience, because a scare at home might be a little too scary, and being in a big room... That's so true. But you would think that comedy would be the same way, right?

00:10:40 Speaker_01
You want the shared experience of the laugh, but comedies have yet to come back.

00:10:45 Speaker_03
I know, and I sort of brought that up, actually, to our friend Jason Blum, who makes a lot of horror-type films. Blumhouse, yeah. Yeah, Blumhouse. And I said that, JB. I said, well, why don't we make it a comedy? And he said, no, there's no money in it.

00:10:58 Speaker_03
Yeah, I don't get it. Yeah. Yeah, I don't get it either.

00:11:01 Speaker_01
I understand wanting to be home alone if you're gonna be crying. You don't want to cry next to a stranger. But I do like laughing with strangers. I like being scared with strangers. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. Hugh? Hugh, comments?

00:11:13 Speaker_00
It's very sad. No one's sadder than me. My local cinema just closed down after 30... I mean, I've been going there for 30 years. It's been going for 100 years. It's just awful.

00:11:23 Speaker_00
I cannot... To me, I can't understand the instinct of someone who says, I think I'll just sit at home and stream. That seems so utterly sad.

00:11:32 Speaker_01
It is nice to not have to leave the house. I mean... I couldn't disagree with you more.

00:11:37 Speaker_00
My only object in life is to get out of the house.

00:11:39 Speaker_01
Well, you've got those kids running around making a bunch of noise.

00:11:43 Speaker_03
Hang on, JB. Hugh, I want to get into this.

00:11:46 Speaker_03
I'm so glad you're saying this because you're talking to these two, or two people who would... And by the way, a lot of Angelenos who are sort of in the same... our age and who kind of do what we do are equally as boring as these two.

00:12:00 Speaker_03
No, you're not agoraphobic. You have zero ambition and are way too comfortable in your fucking plush lives. And you're not interested in anything other than yourselves. So Hugh, it's entirely true.

00:12:14 Speaker_03
Hugh, talk to me a little bit about getting out of the house. What is it you like to do so much?

00:12:21 Speaker_00
I've always regarded home as hell. I think homes are hell.

00:12:27 Speaker_01
I hear a title of a biography.

00:12:32 Speaker_02
Home Hell Home.

00:12:33 Speaker_00
The guy who dresses me on films wants my autobiography to be called Coffee in a Custard. And I think that is better, actually. Yeah, homes. I don't get it. That's why I don't understand why everyone wants to work from home.

00:12:49 Speaker_00
I cannot imagine anything more dreary or depressing.

00:12:52 Speaker_01
Hugh, are you currently married?

00:12:54 Speaker_00
Yeah, I'm married to a terrifying giant Swede.

00:13:04 Speaker_01
We're gonna launch a new podcast from Smartless Media called Telling It Like It Is starring Hugh Grant.

00:13:12 Speaker_03
I could, Hugh, this is absolutely delightful and surprising. And obviously we don't, I don't know you. Tell us a little bit.

00:13:22 Speaker_01
About this catch you're married to. This terrifying person who's in your life.

00:13:28 Speaker_00
Well, actually, She's magnificent. Yeah, as are the kids.

00:13:35 Speaker_01
We know you just.

00:13:37 Speaker_00
Yeah, I should point that out. No, she's great. To my great surprise... While I was being pretty drunk for a few years in London, about 13 years ago, the bar I used to hang out at, there was this hot Swede at the other end of the bar, and it was her.

00:13:59 Speaker_00
She's an athlete. She was very nearly a pro tennis player, but she's just too angry. Anyway, we got closer and closer, and then we started breeding, and then we fell in love, and now we're married. I love that. She's very much the man in the family.

00:14:18 Speaker_00
She comes from the northern part of Sweden. I mean, Swedish men, I think, are quite masculine anyway, but when they come from the north, where everyone lives among the trees, they're really seriously masculine, and men are not supposed to talk.

00:14:33 Speaker_00
If you talk, it's a bit girly. No, it's true. Her brothers, I've never heard them say a word. For yes and no, they just suck their teeth. That's northern Swedish for yes or and no. Oh, look at this. Oh, the food's coming for you.

00:14:49 Speaker_00
Yeah, I got some coffee, thank God. Thank you very much.

00:14:52 Speaker_03
Well, yeah, the Swedes do that. They do that thing when they talk on the phone where they go...

00:14:59 Speaker_01
That's right, yes. That's a yes. That's an agreeable breath.

00:15:04 Speaker_03
I've spent some time in Stockholm over the years. I've been there a few times and I quite like Sweden. I always say that Sweden is kind of like Canada with much better architecture and it's...

00:15:14 Speaker_03
And the people are really great, but they're also very blunt in that way that a lot of the Nordic people can be.

00:15:21 Speaker_03
And I was fine, because every time I went there, I'd go and I'd see people, relatives or friends, and they'd say, look at you, you look quite fat. And I'm like, well, it's great to see you too. My, you are tired. You are very tired.

00:15:36 Speaker_03
And I can tell by your face looks terrible.

00:15:40 Speaker_00
That's absolutely correct. I don't allow my wife to go on any of the group chats with the schools because she offends everyone instantly with remarks exactly like that.

00:15:51 Speaker_02
Wait, Hugh, did you ever, speaking of the character, how you just described your wife, did you find it difficult to give up control as a man when you met her?

00:16:00 Speaker_02
Like, before you met her, were you, like, more in control of, or did you believe you were in control of more? And then when you met her, you're like, yeah, I guess I could hand this off to her. That's fine. I seem to be quite happy in my pussy role.

00:16:16 Speaker_00
I just can't believe she likes me. I mean, you know, I'm a bit chatty compared to Swedish men. Sure. And I, you know, she catches me watching The Sound of Music in the afternoons. I love it. We get along great. Yeah. God, I love the visual.

00:16:33 Speaker_00
She also has a long list of things that she says. are unshaggable in a man. And they're really tough, like having tea instead of coffee, driving an electric car. So far, check, check for me. Yeah, exactly. I wish I could remember the other ones.

00:16:53 Speaker_00
They're good.

00:16:54 Speaker_01
So those are things that deem you ineligible for her pleasure. Yeah, that's correct. So you're a coffee man, full combustion engine.

00:17:06 Speaker_00
So all three children are adopted. So what is she seeing in you, man? I know. It's a mystery. And she was married before to a very butch ski champion instructor or something. There was an ugly moment when I was filming this film, Heretic, in Canada.

00:17:29 Speaker_00
When I went for a walk one day, we were filming in Vancouver, I went for a walk on Whistler Mountain nearby. And I told my wife on the phone, and there was a bit of a silence, and then it turned out that her ex-husband lives on Whistler Mountain.

00:17:45 Speaker_00
I'm not very good in nature. And I did get into slight difficulties that day. And I had this nightmare scenario in which her ex-husband rescues me, carries me down the mountain over his shoulder. That would have been a low point.

00:17:59 Speaker_03
He rescues you because he lives in the trees. Because he's living close to the bone on the land. He's sort of hauling logs through waist-deep snow. Yeah, well, that's him.

00:18:12 Speaker_04
And we will be right back. And now, back to the show.

00:18:21 Speaker_03
Hugh, let's go way back. Let's go way back to... So, I think for a lot of people, certainly in this country and in Canada as well, I'm gonna speak to my fellow Canadians.

00:18:32 Speaker_03
We sort of came to know you, I think, through Four Weddings and a Funeral was the thing where we went, everybody went, oh, this guy is amazing. But truth be told, it wasn't your first film. You'd made quite a few films before, yeah?

00:18:46 Speaker_00
I had a career before Four Weddings, but it was a bit lame. I specialized in really low-quality miniseries, like Judith Krantz's Till We Meet Again.

00:19:02 Speaker_00
I was always, for some reason in these miniseries, I was always a champagne baron, an evil champagne baron. I did hundreds of those parts.

00:19:14 Speaker_00
And I, you know, used to sell the family reserves of the best champagne to the Nazis and then get horsewhipped out of the house by Michael York.

00:19:25 Speaker_05
Horse whipped out of the house.

00:19:27 Speaker_00
Yes. Another alternate title for the biography. Having raped my half-sister, Courtney Cox. Oh, my God. Yes.

00:19:35 Speaker_03
Jesus Christ. This has taken a turn for the better. And keep going.

00:19:42 Speaker_00
And? I'd love to see this. Oh, there was another one where I was, you know, there's a brand of champagne called Charles Aidsique. Anyway, I was him. What do you mean? Well, I played him. I played him.

00:19:57 Speaker_00
It was partly sponsored by the champagne makers themselves. It was not a high point in television history, I don't think.

00:20:03 Speaker_02
Okay.

00:20:03 Speaker_00
And I made the mistake of doing a French accent. I didn't have great lines. I remember I had to say things like, You must listen to the champagne. There is laughter in the bubbles." You know, it was lines like that.

00:20:18 Speaker_01
Oh, God. How long have you been a professional actor, earning a paycheck? Oh, yeah, well, 40 years. Yeah. Wow, isn't that amazing? And before you were earning a paycheck, you were learning, I'm guessing. Was there much training? No, and you can tell.

00:20:37 Speaker_01
How early did the bug bite you? If it was not great training.

00:20:43 Speaker_00
No, you're fine, actually. I never trained. The whole thing started by mistake. I had left university. I was heading off to do another degree in a different subject, which I didn't really want to do that much. Which was what?

00:20:57 Speaker_00
Well, I was highly pretentious. I'd just done a degree in English literature. Thank you. I was off to do A history of art masters.

00:21:08 Speaker_00
And anyway, in the summer when that was about to happen, someone said, come and watch this amateur film that I had played a small part in while a student at Oxford. And I thought, I might as well. I was showing BAFTA in Piccadilly that night.

00:21:29 Speaker_00
And I went there on my bicycle and I watched it. It was not a good film. I was not good in it. But at that time in England, it was very much the vogue for actors to be hoity-toity posh.

00:21:44 Speaker_00
It was the time of chariots of fire and brideshead revisited and things like that. So agents said to me, would you like to be an actor? We'd like to represent you. And I said, no, thank you very much.

00:21:56 Speaker_00
And went back to prepare for a world in the history of art. And then I suddenly thought, actually, I've got no money. So maybe I should do that for a year, and then I'll go and do my other degree. So I rang them back.

00:22:09 Speaker_00
I said, yeah, look, I'll do this for a bit. And I got jobs, but I was so bad, I thought, I can't leave it at that. I'll do one more and try and be better. And that has gone on for 40 years.

00:22:22 Speaker_02
Isn't that interesting?

00:22:25 Speaker_03
Because you're English, like, we all revere, and you just assume that you've had all this training as most... Well, I was gonna say, yeah, and there are so many... Of course, there are so many English actors who work over here and who, as Englishmen or pose as Americans,

00:22:47 Speaker_03
But there is always that thing about, you know, having gone to drama school, having gone to, uh, you know, RADA or whatever.

00:22:53 Speaker_03
And I wonder if growing up in that environment, now, of course, you were coming out of Oxford, but growing up, and a lot of your peers who were coming out of these schools, was there kind of a, um... I don't know. Was there a thing about that?

00:23:08 Speaker_03
Was that something that those people... I'm not asking you to speak ill of your friends, but was there kind of a thing about that? Were they kind of... Were they lorded that over? With the ones who'd been to drama school?

00:23:21 Speaker_00
Yeah. Well, when I did this acting, I was nervous of them, because I thought they must know stuff I don't know, and I did read books about, you know, the voice and the body, and I did tragic drills in the park by myself. No, really awful.

00:23:39 Speaker_05
Awful.

00:23:41 Speaker_00
I did one where you had to, it said, you must run backwards with your arms spread out, shouting, ha! from your diaphragm. And I was in the theater up in Nottingham in north of England at the time, and I went to the local park and I did these things.

00:23:59 Speaker_00
And then I remember looking over at some local kids who were saying, look, he's doing it again, what a wanker.

00:24:06 Speaker_01
There he goes again.

00:24:07 Speaker_00
Yeah.

00:24:08 Speaker_01
In many ways, they were right. Do you remember what the big switch and change was when you went back to do it again and do it better and not be quite as bad an actor as you say you were?

00:24:26 Speaker_01
Do you remember, did you do anything on purpose that pushed you more towards the higher quality performance? Was there one thing?

00:24:34 Speaker_00
Well, you all know this, it's only about parts. It's just about how good the part is, really. And in the end... The script for Weddings and a Funeral came across my desk, and I auditioned, and they really didn't want me.

00:24:48 Speaker_00
The guy who wrote it, Richard Curtis, really didn't want me. He thought I was all wrong. But the man who directed it did, and that seemed to help. Although I must say, I never really felt I got that part.

00:25:00 Speaker_00
You know, you get that feeling, don't you, when you think, I'm being rather good. I'm absolutely in character here. I never felt that. How do you mean? I couldn't hear him. I have to hear them and I couldn't hear him. Well, I couldn't anyway off the page.

00:25:14 Speaker_00
It helped after I finally met Richard Curtis who wrote it, who is that guy. And so in some ways I'm just doing an imitation of him in that film.

00:25:25 Speaker_02
Do you ever sit back and, because I mean, we've all seen so much of your work.

00:25:30 Speaker_02
Do you absorb how, do you get a moment of how being proud of yourself and like taking it all in and being like, I mean, you don't seem the type, but like my wish for you is that you accept it, you know, accept all the great work you've done.

00:25:46 Speaker_00
Well, this night of you, I've got better. And that is a mystery. Again, I think it's partly parts. When I got too old and ugly to do romantic comedies and started being offered these weirdo parts, it suited me best.

00:25:59 Speaker_01
Now you're killing people running down the street.

00:26:05 Speaker_00
And, you know, I have another weird... I have two theories about it. One is I learned really much too late in my career that you have to mean it, that you have to think it.

00:26:15 Speaker_00
There's a whole other script behind the script, which is all about thoughts and feelings. And prior to that, I'd always just thought, I just need to land this funny line at the right timing. And that's not the way to be good.

00:26:28 Speaker_00
So meaning it was one thing, but the other thing was I have a weird theory that it was having children. I think I was a dried-up, middle-aged, golf-addicted Englishman.

00:26:39 Speaker_00
Then I had children, and suddenly I had heart, and I think I had more layers or something.

00:26:45 Speaker_03
Wait a second, now you're speaking our language. Jason and I are... We're in two hours, we're teeing off. And if you ever are in town and you want to play with us, Hugh, please do. Yeah, Hugh just said, can I come? I just asked. Okay. No, I can't today.

00:27:00 Speaker_03
But you'll be glad to. We need a fourth tomorrow. We need a fourth if you can play tomorrow.

00:27:03 Speaker_01
So, Hugh, talk a little bit about, you know, when you say jokingly, you said, you know, too old, too ugly to do the rom-com parts anymore.

00:27:10 Speaker_01
But, you know, talk a bit about sort of the half serious part of that where, you know, your looks still are incredible.

00:27:20 Speaker_01
But that was a large part of what we knew and loved about you was this incredibly handsome, dashing man providing the lead in all of these films, which I'd like to still see you do, considering your incredible looks maintaining here.

00:27:39 Speaker_01
But, like, was that something that got in your way, like some... sort of, you know, famously beautiful actresses of our time have often mentioned that, you know, they weren't taken seriously because they were so gorgeous.

00:27:53 Speaker_01
I mean, you know, was that ever something that you thought, well, you know, I want to be taken seriously as an actor, but people are hiring me for my looks. Was that ever something that was a problem?

00:28:04 Speaker_00
Well, I entirely lost faith that I could do anything else. I believed my critics, really. But I see now maybe I was wrong, because at the very beginning...

00:28:15 Speaker_00
If I had any talent, it was for doing strange characters and silly voices and things, outlandish things that were nothing like me.

00:28:21 Speaker_00
And I had this comedy group that was actually quite successful, the London and Edinburgh sort of fringe circuit, which was all character stuff, you know, silly characters. What kind of year was it? That would be mid-80s. Okay.

00:28:38 Speaker_00
Yeah, we used to perform in pubs with people like Mike Myers. He was next on the bill. And that was fun.

00:28:44 Speaker_00
And actually, just after I made Four Weddings, I shot another film with the same director before Four Weddings was actually released, which was, you know, I was a nicotine-stained, predatory, evil, twisted, unpleasant theatre director.

00:29:01 Speaker_00
And I was pretty good. And I wish that at least I'd kept that other strand of my career going through all those years and years of rom-coms. Not that I hasten to add. Not that I hate the romantic comedies, I'm proud of them.

00:29:15 Speaker_00
It's nice to have made films that actually entertain people. And they're much harder than people think. And in some cases, much better, I think, than the sneerers think. My wife's good on this. She was watching, I think, Love Actually the other day.

00:29:30 Speaker_00
Because we like to watch one of my films every night. I make all the children watch it. If they don't watch them, they don't get fed. And she said, quite correctly, she said, what's good about this film is that it's about pain.

00:29:44 Speaker_00
And those, the good romantic comedies I did were really about pain. It's about humor dealing with pain, the pain of being in unrequited love, et cetera.

00:29:53 Speaker_01
And so do you feel that perhaps, but for the massive success of the more sort of commercial efforts that you made, the rom-com stuff, that you would have maybe had a better chance at being received as a thespian.

00:30:09 Speaker_01
It's, you know, sometimes, you know, our great directors get stuck in that, too. You know, they're incredibly sophisticated, but then they direct some big popcorn success, and now they're that director.

00:30:19 Speaker_03
Where they're shackled by financial success, right?

00:30:22 Speaker_00
Yeah, exactly. Greed plays a big part in this. Yeah. Greed and laziness. And those two have played a huge part in my career.

00:30:31 Speaker_01
Well, but you're being falsely modest here, but do you think that, would you have made different decisions earlier on to balance out more of the output, like chosen some weird characters alongside the others?

00:30:45 Speaker_00
Yes, yes, yes. Well, I still had some confidence coming off this other weird film I did before Four Weddings. And then another one called Restoration, which was not a very successful film with Robert Downey, but I played a,

00:30:58 Speaker_00
kind of freakish cameo in that, and I was pretty good, I thought. And I should have at least kept that going.

00:31:04 Speaker_01
Well, are you looking forward to now, this stage of, you know, maybe like saying, well, check out what's been under this all this time, and here comes some more interesting parts from you? Yeah.

00:31:17 Speaker_00
Well, I suppose that's what I've been doing for the last seven or eight years.

00:31:21 Speaker_03
Yeah, I was gonna say that. It seems like you've kind of been on that track a little bit, and you've been sort of mixing it up. Yeah, I have mixed it up.

00:31:29 Speaker_02
Yeah, I'm so late to the party, but The Undoing is a perfect example. You were so great in that with Nicole Kidman. And I loved that series, because I'm a big fan of thrillers and stuff like that. So that was incredible. I loved that series.

00:31:44 Speaker_00
Oh, that's nice of you. Yeah, not easy. But very well directed, that thing. Very well. Susanne Bier, Danish. You know, that whole Scandi Noir thing. She made that what it was, I think. Really cool. I think so. Yeah. Yeah.

00:31:59 Speaker_00
I mean, I was going to say, I don't want to spoil it, but it's ancient history now. To be that charming guy, the ideal husband. He's a cancer doctor for kids. loving to his child, loving to his wife, marvelous.

00:32:13 Speaker_00
Then it turns out he's an absolute savage psychopath. Yeah, I love it.

00:32:17 Speaker_03
You know, it's funny, Hugh, you seem to have this very sort of... I gotta say, kind of refreshing and very... I don't even know what to say. Sort of honest... this sort of...

00:32:30 Speaker_03
sort of self-appraisal that you're doing, and maybe it's because... And I will say, I do share with you, as now that I'm north of 50, I'm 54, I spend a lot of time, I don't take as many things as seriously as I used to.

00:32:45 Speaker_03
when I was a young man, certainly when I was a young actor. Certainly, my career, I didn't have the career that you did in film. In fact, I always joked that if it wasn't for bad films, I wouldn't have made one.

00:32:55 Speaker_03
But you seem to have this very sort of healthy, self-deprecating thing. And it's not even self-deprecating. I think it's quite, it's obviously very funny, but it's also, I wonder how much of it for you is cathartic to just...

00:33:11 Speaker_03
kind of let it all go and not be serious about it. Is that a conscious decision? I quite like it, and you're encouraging me to do it more about myself.

00:33:23 Speaker_00
Well, I don't know. I mean, I feel actors can sometimes get a little pious or reverent about what they're doing. And I've never been able to go down that alley. I do, in the end, think we're in the entertainment business.

00:33:39 Speaker_00
And if you're not entertaining people... What are you doing? What are you doing? It's a bit of a... It's a bit masturbatory.

00:33:46 Speaker_02
Yeah, I agree. I agree.

00:33:49 Speaker_03
Sean, you want to speak to that?

00:33:50 Speaker_02
Yeah, thank you. No, I totally agree.

00:33:54 Speaker_02
I always thought that, like, if you, exactly what you just said, like, there's a lane to pick where you make great things that speak to your heart and that are true for you and that you want to make and that's called art and in some form it's all art, but if nobody's watching you make that art,

00:34:14 Speaker_02
Like, if a tree falls in the forest, you know, like, then what are you doing?

00:34:17 Speaker_00
I know, but that's not right either. Right. I take back everything I just said. Okay. Because if you don't have the people trying new stuff... No, I know. It's a balancing act. It's a balancing act.

00:34:29 Speaker_00
And the problem is, I think under the umbrella of art comes an awful lot of pretentious dross that deserves to die in the forest. That's true. But also some absolute gems and... artistry that actually genuinely gets me going.

00:34:46 Speaker_00
On the plane last night, I watched Zone of Interest, and you cannot get more incredible filmmaking in every aspect than that film. It's incredible. And that clearly is not made for what you might call entertainment or money, but it's incredible.

00:35:06 Speaker_03
Sean and Scotty, you guys don't... It's not part of the MCU, as we'd call it, right? The Marvel Cinematic Universe that we so adore. Sean and his husband can often be found with children's lightsabers battling on the front lawn.

00:35:25 Speaker_02
I like to call it the front lines, but yeah. No, we, you know, we're big sci-fi fans, but I know what you mean.

00:35:31 Speaker_02
I think the goals then, you know, if you're making the thing something like Zone of Interest, and it does find an audience that's, as it has, I believe, that's the real win is when you're making... Well, because it's illuminating.

00:35:44 Speaker_03
It's illuminating, right? I mean, not only is it great art, there's also a message, but it's illuminating and exposing people to art sometimes. Jason, as you say, making the medicine go down earlier.

00:35:56 Speaker_03
I hate even calling it medicine because it is... But also getting into conversations about what is art and what is not art is a very slippery slope into douchebaggery.

00:36:05 Speaker_00
I agree. Right, right, right. For sure. And I think what sometimes has got lost, or perhaps has got lost, It was possible to make big, successful box office films that were smart.

00:36:18 Speaker_00
I used to have a deal with Castle Rock Pictures, and Rob Reiner, who was the kind of boss of that, always said, there are $200 million movies in this country. One of them's... moronic and the other is very bright.

00:36:32 Speaker_00
And you can make big successful films that are intelligent, smart, you know, groundbreaking. And he did. Lots of them, you know. And I think it's sad that that's got lost, that that doesn't seem to exist so much anymore.

00:36:47 Speaker_00
Or maybe it's moved over to Netflix or something.

00:36:54 Speaker_04
We'll be right back. And now, back to the show.

00:37:02 Speaker_02
Now, what about junkets? Now, like the older you get, for my sister, Tracy, who doesn't, junket is a press tour for any project you're working on.

00:37:11 Speaker_01
I bet you that's what Hugh's in town for. Hugh's in town to answer a bunch of questions about this new movie coming out, and it's part of the sort of, yeah, you gotta bang the drum, light your hair on fire.

00:37:19 Speaker_03
Not only that, let's discuss the worst part of it, which is the back-to-back junket days when you sit in a room and then they trot. He's about to go downstairs and start that. And they say, okay, so today it's 35 and tomorrow it's 41 in a row.

00:37:35 Speaker_03
And I know you're listening at home and you're saying, hey, fuck you, I stare at a wall all day and then I drive home. But this is equally as mind numbing, I assure you.

00:37:43 Speaker_02
Yeah. To that point, my question is just like what we were talking about before, the older you get, you kind of have, don't you have the power to say, guys, I'm going to do like three today and that's it? Or I don't know.

00:37:58 Speaker_00
Yes, you do, I suppose, but you feel a bit of an arsehole if you do that. Because you've come to love the filmmakers, don't you?

00:38:06 Speaker_00
Everyone's put themselves out there, and it's a terrifying moment when you're about to present something to the public, and to just walk away and say, I'm too grand to talk to the media is a bit wanky. Yeah, yeah, for sure.

00:38:18 Speaker_01
But what happens in the scenario where you've seen the film, and you're like, oh boy. Oh, this did not come together. This did not work, yet you still have to go out and champion it. Is that difficult?

00:38:30 Speaker_01
Well, traditionally, at that point, I like to get arrested.

00:38:33 Speaker_00
Brilliant. Then you're kind of out of the loop. Very smart plan.

00:38:41 Speaker_02
You're N.A.

00:38:45 Speaker_03
Tech not avail, LA.

00:38:48 Speaker_01
But this one, I imagine this one you're excited to talk about. You're in one of those really cool new, I'd love this new, I guess it's not a new genre, but it's a tilt on the genre of horror films where

00:39:01 Speaker_01
They've really, over the last, what, five or ten years, become much more cinematic. Like, these are really, really well-made films. They're beautiful, and they're challenging. And I would imagine this is one of those. Did you have a great time doing it?

00:39:16 Speaker_01
Are you happy with the end product?

00:39:19 Speaker_00
I am very happy with the end product, and you're right. Well, part of the reason I did it was because it was A24, and it's not often...

00:39:31 Speaker_00
in life that you get something as surprising and uplifting as what they've done for cinema with just sheer balls and courage and good taste, creating film after film that's fresh and new and often utterly fucking terrifying.

00:39:48 Speaker_00
I'm still getting over Midsommar. You ever see that film? No, I want to see that.

00:39:52 Speaker_01
I haven't seen it yet.

00:39:53 Speaker_01
Well, it's kind of like what you said, what Rob Reiner said, you know, like, why can't you have something that is artistically sound, but also so enjoyable and so satisfying and delivers so thoroughly that it makes a whole lot of money, sells a bunch of popcorn at the same time.

00:40:07 Speaker_00
And that's the dream scenario, exactly. That's the bullseye.

00:40:10 Speaker_01
Heretic has got that.

00:40:13 Speaker_00
Well, it's definitely very smart. I mean, it's fascinating. I'm a character who makes a lot of quite long speeches in it about religion. And they were genuinely fascinating to me.

00:40:28 Speaker_00
These two weirdos who wrote and directed it, Scott and Brian, who also wrote, for instance, A Quiet Place. They're interesting guys. They... did years of research to come up with the arguments I make in this film.

00:40:43 Speaker_00
And I think they are really quite startling and fascinating. So, yeah, I enjoyed all that part of it. And it's filmy. I am obsessed with films being filmy and not just like a big format TV. So it's got incredible production design, incredible...

00:41:01 Speaker_00
you know, photography. And it's daring because traditionally, as you know, films tend to try and keep their dialogue quite pithy and short. This is very dialogue heavy and... How are you at learning your lines? Well, worse and worse.

00:41:17 Speaker_00
You know, the older I get, the more I drink.

00:41:19 Speaker_00
But I now start weeks and weeks early, and I go for walks every day, going through every single line over and over again, because I think they... I have a theory that they're like dance steps, and that the more you repeat your dance steps, the more you can't forget them on the day.

00:41:36 Speaker_00
And then on the day you can have other thoughts and other feelings and do what actors are supposed to do.

00:41:42 Speaker_02
Yeah, because it's in your skin.

00:41:43 Speaker_00
It's in your skin, and I hate seeing in my eyes or any other actor's eyes, I think he's just looking for his next line there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:41:51 Speaker_03
Do you record... Sorry, go ahead, Sean.

00:41:53 Speaker_02
As I said, Jason has the opposite. He can look at something and memorize it in five seconds. He's very good at memorizing. I don't understand it. I don't understand it.

00:42:00 Speaker_01
It is not that great, but it's sort of a self-preservation thing. I wish I could do what you do, Hugh.

00:42:09 Speaker_01
But I find if the more I do that, the more I sort of nail in a way I'm going to do that line, the more and more I talk about it and rehearse it, then I'm less flexible on the day when I see what the other actor is doing and I actually have to change a little bit.

00:42:23 Speaker_01
It's harder for me if I'm really nailed down with the lines.

00:42:27 Speaker_00
You're right. I worked in the theater once with a very good director who used to say, don't nest. You're nesting your lines in rehearsal. And that was brilliant. You don't want to nest, but at the same time,

00:42:41 Speaker_00
I've worked with actors, as I say, where they're just struggling for their lines the whole time. That's all that's going on in their eyes.

00:42:46 Speaker_03
We used to, sort of 20 years ago, when Jason and I were doing a television show called Arrested Development, and we used to constantly be getting rewrites at the last second, and so we'd have our sides with us on set, and we'd be looking at them, and we'd be just trying to jam it in, jam it in.

00:43:01 Speaker_03
They'd be, like, rolling, okay. Rolling, here we go, guys. Everybody's up in front of them. We're just looking, looking, looking. And one of the sets was this living room of this house. And we'd jam our sides between the cushions.

00:43:14 Speaker_03
So, years later... Do you remember this, Jay? Years later, we went and we did a few more seasons of the show for Netflix, like, whatever it was, eight, ten years later. And they had all the old sets.

00:43:25 Speaker_03
They preserved them somewhere out in, I don't know, in the desert where they keep sets of old... television shows, and they brought the original stuff.

00:43:32 Speaker_03
And we sit, we go to rehearse the first day, we're sitting on the couch, and I reach, and I think, there's no chance. I reach between the cushions, and there were all these signs that had been jammed in there years earlier.

00:43:43 Speaker_03
From the last second, jamming them in. Isn't that funny?

00:43:48 Speaker_01
Well, Hugh, you sound like you're a big film fan as far as the way things are shot and designed and whatnot. With all your set experience, have you ever flirted with directing? Is that an interest to you?

00:44:02 Speaker_00
It is of interest. There's lots of it which is of interest. The bit that would get me down... Is the work. A year or two years on the same story.

00:44:14 Speaker_00
I've produced films in the past, and by the end of the year and a half, you just think, I don't care anymore, just get it out. When you're in a Foley session about which footsteps for the postman coming up the stairs.

00:44:28 Speaker_02
But Jason, you love that kind of intricacy stuff.

00:44:31 Speaker_03
I love the postman approaching.

00:44:35 Speaker_01
I do. Actually, yeah, we're coming up with the sound of what is the sound of a body hitting the ground? I did that on Ozark once. It was from 40 stories.

00:44:45 Speaker_01
And now we've got this other one and this new one where it's just three stories and it's going to be a different sound. And I'm going to try to find that. Exactly.

00:44:53 Speaker_00
How did you get the 40-story one? Did you actually throw someone out?

00:44:58 Speaker_01
No, that was something that we thought about doing, actually, like throwing a big bag of something out. But yeah, anyway, it was just louder than the three-story one. But I do anticipate that process becoming a bit tiresome.

00:45:14 Speaker_01
At some point, I'm going to gas, and I'm going to be like, yeah, you know what? It's just the acting part for a while now. You think so? Uh, perhaps.

00:45:23 Speaker_00
It's also very, very hard to see the story, I find, after a year or a year and a half.

00:45:28 Speaker_01
To lose your objectivity.

00:45:29 Speaker_00
Yeah. To produce one of those films, we used to call, you know, the cleaning lady in the editing room and just say, come and watch this film. And then suddenly you could see it. You see it through someone else's eyes. But I couldn't.

00:45:40 Speaker_03
I couldn't see what other people... What about writing, Hugh? Have you done any writing or any film writing? Any other kind of writing?

00:45:47 Speaker_00
Well, increasingly, I ginger up my dialogue. Not on every film, but on some of them, a lot. A lot. Maybe up to 80% is scribbled by me. Oh, really? Yeah. There's nothing wrong with that.

00:46:03 Speaker_01
And then how do you navigate that tricky process of... Not offending anyone.

00:46:08 Speaker_01
Well, yeah, and like, you got to kind of pitch that to the director and or the writer or the other actors, and then what if they say, yeah, no, I like it the other way, and then you're like, yeah, but I'm the one talking and I don't want to sound like an idiot, so here's the better dialogue.

00:46:23 Speaker_00
I agree. It's a little window. I'm a master of that. particular labyrinth, though. And I also am fully aware that nine times out of ten, when an actor says, I've got some ideas, it's going to be shit.

00:46:35 Speaker_00
And you don't want to hear it, and you dread it, and then, you know, sometimes the director will have to say, no, let's do one of yours, which you know is going to end up on the cutting room floor, just to keep him happy.

00:46:47 Speaker_03
I imagine, I don't know you, but I imagine that diplomacy is one of your strong suits. You're a flat-out genius at that. Yeah, that comes across great.

00:46:57 Speaker_01
It would help you with directing.

00:46:58 Speaker_03
Yeah, it would actually help you with directing, because that's all it is, isn't it? I mean, it's a lot of it.

00:47:03 Speaker_02
Hugh, when you come to L.A., what are the things you look forward to doing? Or, as you say, when you just, quote, get out of the house. What are the things you look forward to?

00:47:12 Speaker_00
Well, I was a golf addict for 12 years, so I used to get the guys together and go and golf. In the very old days, in the Judith Krantz, Till We Meet Again days, I used to go to Rancho Park. I bet you never played there. Of course we have.

00:47:28 Speaker_03
Oh, sure.

00:47:29 Speaker_00
Oh, yeah.

00:47:29 Speaker_03
Oh yeah.

00:47:30 Speaker_00
They used to announce your name through a loudspeaker. They still do. They still do. And you team up with three guys you never met.

00:47:36 Speaker_01
Yeah. More rounds played on that golf course than anywhere in the country.

00:47:39 Speaker_03
And I'll tell you what, if you like a seven hour round, Rancho is your place.

00:47:44 Speaker_01
So you've kicked, have you kicked the habit? Having kids runs counter to it.

00:47:48 Speaker_00
Yeah, that killed everything. And also I got the shanks. Uh-oh. Did you? Yeah. I got the shanks, or the Tom Hanks, as we call them in rhyming slang, worse than anybody's ever had them.

00:48:00 Speaker_02
What's shank? What are the shanks?

00:48:02 Speaker_00
That's when the ball goes far right instead of straight. It's almost impossible to achieve if you try to do it, but it's where the head of the club meets the shaft of the club. Oh, yeah. And so the ball goes humiliatingly.

00:48:13 Speaker_03
The hosel. You know, there's a very, quite famously, Ian Baker Finch, who won the Open, and is now a broadcaster here in America, a golf broadcaster, and he's By the way, very good golf broadcaster, and he still plays.

00:48:25 Speaker_03
We actually saw him last year playing. I mean, not professionally. He doesn't play professionally because he won the Open, he was sort of at the top of the league, and he got the shanks.

00:48:35 Speaker_03
And he couldn't hit a fairway, and he couldn't... And it's so... Shanks for nothing.

00:48:39 Speaker_00
Yeah. Well done. I once lost a ball chipping from off the green on live television. I was in a big pro-am in Scotland.

00:48:51 Speaker_00
And all I had was the tiniest chip up onto this green, one of those courses in Scotland, shanked it, went into one of those little streams, and was taken out to sea lost. That's probably when I gave up.

00:49:07 Speaker_03
Jason one time, at a pro-am at Pebble Beach, two, three years ago, playing a couple of groups ahead of me, was in a bunker on the third hole, and he thinned one, he hit it thin out of the bunker, and it went straight into the windshield of a car.

00:49:26 Speaker_01
Oh, that's magnificent. And I just dove in the bunker and just got outside.

00:49:32 Speaker_03
He ducked, walked away, and went to the next hole.

00:49:35 Speaker_00
That's shameful.

00:49:37 Speaker_03
I know.

00:49:38 Speaker_00
Would you like to know my most shameful moment like that? Please. Yeah. took my dad and my brother to play golf in northern France.

00:49:47 Speaker_00
And there was one course we wanted to play on, it wasn't open, but they said, because we got our big tournament today, but we will open it specially for you, Mr. Grant, Monsieur Grant.

00:49:56 Speaker_00
In fact, come early, we'll cook you a special breakfast and we'll take you to the first tee. So long as you get off before the tournament, everything's fine. So we turn up, they cook us a lovely breakfast, they drive us to the first tee.

00:50:07 Speaker_00
Round about the third hole, I'm already in a rage. I had terrible golf rage. I've got the shanks with some chip.

00:50:16 Speaker_00
And through my wedge, as far as I could, over a kind of hill by the side of the third green, into the bushes, thought, right, I never want to see that funky thing again.

00:50:27 Speaker_00
Then realized over that hill was not the bushes, but was, in fact, the first green.

00:50:33 Speaker_00
and I go over the top of the hill and there is my wedge embedded like a tomahawk in the middle of the green right next to the hole and the competition has now started with their best players coming up the green and the guy who'd cooked us breakfast sitting in a buggy right by the green.

00:50:49 Speaker_05
No!

00:50:52 Speaker_00
Hello there.

00:50:52 Speaker_01
Bonjour. Bonjour. Some crazy man stole my wedge and threw it over this hill. I'm so glad I found it. Did you ever get to be a single digit?

00:51:05 Speaker_00
I did. I got to 6.7. That's my zenith. Nice. Yeah, but you're lower than that. I can tell from your face.

00:51:11 Speaker_01
No, no, no, no. No, no, not at all. I can't play to that at all.

00:51:16 Speaker_02
Hugh, are you with any of your family, your kids, your wife? Did they travel with you or are you solo? No, thank God. Yeah. Actually, my wife is coming out tomorrow. Oh, that's fun. Will you guys go out to eat? Will you guys go out to, like... Yes, yes.

00:51:31 Speaker_00
We miss... Concerts? Yeah, no. Not concerts, no. We'll go out for... Scandi drinking dinners. And I still have friends here, remarkably. Especially my old Castle Rock friends. Doing golf with them.

00:51:48 Speaker_03
Last thing I want to ask you, Hugh, and then we're going to let you go.

00:51:53 Speaker_03
I know you're busy and you're exhausted and this is a drag, but where do you see the next five, because you're making all these changes and doing all these, if you had it your way, what are the next five years for Hugh Grant?

00:52:08 Speaker_00
Well, in the fantasy, which is the same fantasy I've had for 40 years, is that I finally knock it on the head. and write my novel, or possibly a wonderful script. But I can't seem to get over that hurdle. I sit down and I'm terrified of failure.

00:52:26 Speaker_00
But I have pages and pages and pages of ideas and notes. And that would be really nice, because also I think, right, in the last few years, it's become less enjoyable to be recognizable in the street than Well, it's just harder now. I find it harder.

00:52:43 Speaker_03
The camera, because everybody's got a camera.

00:52:44 Speaker_00
The camera thing is tough, particularly with children. It would be nice to gently disappear.

00:52:52 Speaker_03
I would be first in line to read your book and I imagine it would be quite good. And I would be second in line to listen to it. You can do the audio book. Sean and Jason will listen to it. But please do, please do write that book.

00:53:07 Speaker_03
I imagine you'd have a lot to say. You've been very nice to me, thank you. Yeah, well, a huge fan. Massive fan, man. Massive fan for a long time.

00:53:19 Speaker_00
Well, I looked at your three names and thought, I'm frightened of all three of you, because they're all brilliant. No, no, no. You're very sweet.

00:53:27 Speaker_03
Yeah.

00:53:27 Speaker_00
And then I googled this podcast, because I don't know much about podcasts.

00:53:33 Speaker_03
Sure, nor do we.

00:53:34 Speaker_00
It's gigantic. You're the richest people I've ever met.

00:53:37 Speaker_01
I mean... No, there's plenty more.

00:53:39 Speaker_00
Yeah, there's plenty more, yeah. Do you do concerts? You know, when you sort of... We did a tour. We did a tour.

00:53:47 Speaker_03
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we went to... We went everywhere.

00:53:50 Speaker_01
Actually, we were gonna come to London last... This time last year, but we... Yeah, we may end up doing a European version of it one of these days, but... Yeah, we love going out there on the road. It's really fun.

00:53:59 Speaker_03
If we come to London, and even if we... Would you agree now, and we won't hold you to it, to jump on stage and say hello if we do a show in London?

00:54:08 Speaker_00
Yes, I'll do that, yes. We'll play golf at Sunningdale.

00:54:11 Speaker_03
Oh, that'd be great.

00:54:12 Speaker_00
Oh, Sunningdale, yes.

00:54:13 Speaker_03
That would be great.

00:54:15 Speaker_03
Jason and I had said, we had talked about the London trip, the tour, and we said, well, we're gonna have two dates in London, and then we'll bring our clubs, and then we'll also do a date in Dublin, so we'll play in Ireland as well.

00:54:26 Speaker_02
We had planned it all. I played in my, my golf story, which I've told a long, long time ago here really, really fast. I played in Dublin with my brother, Kevin, and this is a true, true story. I hit it. I don't know what's shank or what's shanked again.

00:54:40 Speaker_01
When you hit it in the brush kind of goes bad.

00:54:42 Speaker_02
Yeah. So I hit it. I shanked and it hit a, and I hit it really hard. It hit a tree, bounced off and smack hit me in the neck. My own ball. No, in my own neck, I swear to God.

00:54:56 Speaker_03
It was horrible. It was the universe saying, get the fuck out of here.

00:54:59 Speaker_02
Yeah, and we didn't have... Yeah, exactly, and I did. We didn't have a little... What is it called? Cart. Cart. We just had to walk everywhere. I was like, God, why is this enjoyable? We never played with a cart.

00:55:08 Speaker_01
75-mile walk. I don't know. Yeah. It's a nice walk. It's a walk in a garden, and you get to play a game at the same time.

00:55:16 Speaker_03
Yeah, for sure. Hugh, thank you so much. Hugh Grant, continued success, man. I hope you get to do exactly what you want to do. You deserve it, and we deserve to hear about it. And thank you for your time, and get some rest. Thank you, sir.

00:55:28 Speaker_03
It was nice to meet you all. Thank you. It was a pleasure to meet you.

00:55:31 Speaker_02
And I can't wait for Heretic. Yeah, thanks. Thanks so much. Yeah, nice to meet you.

00:55:34 Speaker_01
All right, good luck with the film. Bye, Hugh. Thanks, Hugh. See you, bud. Bye, pal. See you, guys. Bye. Wow, is he funny. I love how dry and candid. Me too. Honest. Refreshing. Reminds me, what's that Brian Cox quote?

00:55:50 Speaker_01
I'm too old, too rich, and too famous to give a fuck. Isn't that what he said? Yeah. Something like that. It was very, very refreshing. I've always been a fan of his. Never met him. Never really heard or seen an extended interview with him.

00:56:03 Speaker_01
So that was really nice. Yeah.

00:56:04 Speaker_03
Yeah. Yeah, me neither. Yeah, it's one of those, I don't feel like I know a lot about him.

00:56:10 Speaker_02
But I love his career trajectory, too.

00:56:13 Speaker_01
Yeah, and he's made like a hundred movies, too.

00:56:17 Speaker_03
Yeah, he's made so many movies. And he's made kids' movies. Didn't he make... God, I should have looked this up. I made it terrible. He made that film... Paddington. Right?

00:56:32 Speaker_02
Yeah. Paddington was a great movie. Great, great fucking movie. Remember that? That was a long time ago. Gosh, I wonder, like, um... Oh, here it comes.

00:56:42 Speaker_03
By the way, Bridget Jones. All the Bridget Jones films. Fucking Notting Hill. He made all those movies with Richard Curtis that Richard Curtis wrote. Talking about the fact that Richard Curtis did not want him for Four Weddings, who had written it.

00:56:55 Speaker_03
And then they went on to work together and have, like, a wonderful working relationship. Yeah. And I wanted to get into that, but he was being too self-deprecating and funny about his life to interrupt it.

00:57:04 Speaker_02
Yeah, but I've always been a fan of thrillers and stuff like that. And he's got, what's it called? Heretic? Heretic? Yeah, I can't wait to get a ticket for that.

00:57:14 Speaker_03
Or not get a ticket, but buy a ticket. It's so... Honestly, Sean, here's the thing. Here's the thing, Sean.

00:57:25 Speaker_01
No, it's too lazy. Just hang up on him, Sean.

00:57:27 Speaker_03
It's not clever. It's not clever. It's just lazy. Fucking bye! SmartLess is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Bennett Barbaco, Michael Grant Terry, and Rob Armgirf.