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Episode: Florida or No Florida?

Florida or No Florida?

Author: Distractible
Duration: 00:57:58

Episode Shownotes

Bob, Mark and Wade find out if what happens in Florida stays in Florida. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Full Transcript

00:00:00 Speaker_05
This episode is brought to you by Indiana Jones and the Great Circle. Uncover one of history's greatest mysteries in Indiana Jones and the Great Circle. A first-person single-player video game set between Raiders of the Lost Ark and The Last Crusade.

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00:00:19 Speaker_06
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00:00:35 Speaker_06
Copyright and trademark 2024 Lucasfilm Limited. All rights reserved.

00:00:40 Speaker_00
My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big ROAS man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friends still laugh at me to this day.

00:00:54 Speaker_02
Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to linkedin.com slash campaign to claim your credit. That's linkedin.com slash campaign. Terms and conditions apply.

00:01:08 Speaker_02
LinkedIn, the place to be, to be.

00:01:10 Speaker_01
Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractible. this episode. Bearded Bob bashes balls with batons and gets a gents to guess geographical genesis. Mid-faced Mark has a pumping and release issue. Misjudges Columbia, but not the harmless.

00:01:29 Speaker_01
Whingey Wade has another hard one with Hanabi. Disbelieves a drunk dudette and dunks on Kentucky. From ocular accoutrements to Amazon firefights. Yes! It's time for Florida or No Florida. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

00:01:54 Speaker_06
Hello and welcome to yet another episode of the podcast that just won't end. This is Distractible. I am your host because I won the last episode. My name is Bob and I am joined by my two competitors for today's show, Mark and Wade. Hi. Hello.

00:02:11 Speaker_06
I was gonna let them usually you guys have a lot you jump in and you've got that and that's fine.

00:02:15 Speaker_05
That's fine It's I never know which way it's gonna go and I just I don't know I like to keep you guessing cuz I don't know either you think I plan this I did did you guys plan to wear glasses today and leave me out of it my perfect vision

00:02:28 Speaker_06
I wear glasses 100% of the time. You wore nothing once. In one recording session for, I think, two episodes, I wore contacts, and then I realized I look really goofy without glasses on my face, so I'm just gonna stick to glasses.

00:02:41 Speaker_06
My glasses disguise the mis-shape- mis-proportions of my mid-face and top face.

00:02:47 Speaker_05
Look at this mid-face. You think I hide this? I accentuate it by framing it.

00:02:51 Speaker_06
I can't stand how crunched my midface is and how huge my top- is it top face? High face? Not a forehead or anything. No, it's- there's terms. They have terms for these things.

00:03:01 Speaker_05
You see how I actually thin my long face to elongate it to get the long- I just want to be that drawing that Critical commissioned.

00:03:11 Speaker_04
I have no way to hide anything. There's no hair to cover anything.

00:03:15 Speaker_06
You could rock a hat. Oh, that'd be so uncomfortable, these headphones. They make like silk lined hats that feel really good on your head skin.

00:03:24 Speaker_04
That's probably true. It probably would feel good. But I'm wearing glasses because I always wear glasses when no one's looking at me. But also I took out my contacts last night and boy, oh boy, my left eye was just watering for about an hour and a half.

00:03:35 Speaker_04
And I was like, something's not right. I might have like a slight corneal abrasion or something going on. So I was like, maybe maybe today I just give it a break.

00:03:42 Speaker_06
Probably not a bad idea. Anyway, if you've never seen this show, I'm gonna judge them and one of them's gonna win and they're gonna host the next one. Usually I say that before we get into the small talk, but I forgot to say that today.

00:03:51 Speaker_06
It doesn't matter. Because I just make up the points and it's all bullshit.

00:03:54 Speaker_04
Wait, what?

00:03:55 Speaker_06
Small talk? You guys got small talk? I got small talk. But you can go first.

00:03:59 Speaker_04
I have several talks that are small.

00:04:02 Speaker_06
Even medium talk is allowed. What kind of talk? How much talk? What talk? Where talk?

00:04:06 Speaker_04
Who talk? You talk? Mark talk? Me talk?

00:04:09 Speaker_05
I'll talk.

00:04:09 Speaker_04
All right, I'll go.

00:04:10 Speaker_05
Oh. I had a leak. So one of my, I have two radiator pump, like all-in-one things to have, because external cooling for server is necessary because you can't cram it inside. And one of the pumps failed.

00:04:24 Speaker_05
It was still, the fans were still going, so it was still cooling, but the pump inside wasn't pumping.

00:04:29 Speaker_05
So what this did is it created kind of a backlog of pressure as the other one, which was earlier in the loop, was pushing into this other one that had... Oh, they're in series. Yeah. So they're in series. I tried parallel.

00:04:43 Speaker_05
It wasn't working because for some reason, if I thought about it a little more, it's just like they wanted to push into each other as opposed to into the loop of the whole system because there's more resistance

00:04:55 Speaker_05
from all the different ports of the system versus each other, even with them pushing against. Anyway, so parallel works or series works and one of the pumps failed and then it was like the pressure built up and I have a pressure release valve, right?

00:05:07 Speaker_05
It's supposed to be for air to get out if it gets too much, but also water can get out of there if the pressure is high enough and it was high enough. And so I walked in this morning and it was just like, Water was all over this thing.

00:05:20 Speaker_05
The whole unit was dead. I don't know if it died from the leak first or if something busted inside it, but it was just like water was everywhere.

00:05:27 Speaker_05
Thankfully, my pump radiators are outside of the server room, so I have been venting out of the server room.

00:05:34 Speaker_05
And I did that literally just two days ago, where they were before they failed, where they were before they failed, was sitting on top of all the servers.

00:05:47 Speaker_05
in the rack, where it would have literally rained down the front and back and gone right in all the power cords and everything. Could not have been in a better position before.

00:05:58 Speaker_05
And I changed it all up because I looked at it and I was just like, man, this is cable hell. I got to fix this. I'm never going to be upgraded. Little did I know I saved my entire server.

00:06:07 Speaker_06
So you didn't even move it because you were like, oh, what if it leaks? I should relocate. You were just like, I got to fix that.

00:06:13 Speaker_04
We would be having such a different conversation today.

00:06:15 Speaker_05
I would be the saddest you've ever seen me in my life. I would be just a broken shell. That is serendipitous. Good decision, Mark.

00:06:25 Speaker_04
I have an announcement, a distractible announcement today.

00:06:28 Speaker_04
Whoa yeah little ways back we were sitting here talking and I brought up to you all a game called Anabi and I was like man I'm having a real hard time finding these tiles and boy oh boy did I get a lot of people reaching out like a toy store a local toy store here in Cincinnati came across my purview if you will.

00:06:47 Speaker_06
No but go on.

00:06:49 Speaker_04
I'm forgetting the name of it, I think it's called Westchester Toys. And I went over there and they had three Hanabi tile sets just in stock, apparently not in demand, whereas all around the world it's like next to impossible to find.

00:07:02 Speaker_04
It won't stay on eBay or Amazon or anywhere else. Cannot find it. This toy store just, for whatever reason, they're just sitting on a cache of tiles. So I buy one and I talk to the guy and I'm like, oh man, I've been looking for this. I'm so excited.

00:07:13 Speaker_04
I've been looking for this for months. He's like, yeah, man, it's a great game. Love it. I've got one at home. Get home, open it up, show Molly. I'm like, oh my God, we got it. Open it up, we start playing a game. I'm looking at her set, right?

00:07:24 Speaker_04
And for those that know what I'm about to describe, you know, if you don't know, the game works as you tell each other through two different kind of clues what tiles they have so they know what to play.

00:07:33 Speaker_04
It's cooperative, but you don't know what you have, and you have to be told or tell them. So I'm trying to tell Molly she's got this blue four and this blue five. There's only one blue five in the whole game.

00:07:44 Speaker_04
So if she accidentally plays that at the wrong time, it's gone forever and we can't win. And right as I'm getting ready to tell her she has this blue five, she plays the clue and she's like, Wade, you have a blue five.

00:07:53 Speaker_04
Well, she told me I had a, I knew I had a five. She's like, it's blue. And I was like, I got to take Molly to the eye doctor because like, she doesn't know blue.

00:08:01 Speaker_06
She doesn't know her numbers. Oh my God.

00:08:03 Speaker_04
Like I'm looking at a blue five. There's only one blue five. So my poor wife, I think she's losing her color sight. She's getting colorblind. So I gotta go help her out.

00:08:11 Speaker_05
Is that the announcement?

00:08:12 Speaker_04
We're getting there. So big reveal happens and come to find out there are two blue fives. There are four blue fours, four blue threes, four blue two, six blue ones. That's too many. That's twice as many as there should be. And then I'm looking around.

00:08:28 Speaker_04
I'm like, man, this is weird. None of the green tiles got played. How did we just happen to skip all the green tiles, flip all of them over? There are no green tiles in this set. We got a misprint with double blues, no greens.

00:08:39 Speaker_06
That's kind of cool.

00:08:40 Speaker_04
And I've been looking for this for forever.

00:08:43 Speaker_06
Oh, wait, not cool. I see.

00:08:44 Speaker_04
And it's like, damn, this isn't even like a cool collector misprint, like a shadowless Charizard or something, because literally you could just buy two sets and swap out the colors in one and be like, but it's cool because it happened like that.

00:08:55 Speaker_06
I think that is cool. You have a unique Hanabi set that's completely useless.

00:08:59 Speaker_04
I do. So I had to go back and buy a second Hanabi set, which I did do, opened it in the store and saw that this one in fact had the green tiles. So now I've got a complete set, an incomplete set.

00:09:10 Speaker_04
I got some acrylic spray and I sprayed the tiles to like protect them and stuff. Though I actually got matte instead of shiny. So now I've got a really dull looking set of Hanabi tiles.

00:09:19 Speaker_06
No, matte's better. Matte's always better.

00:09:21 Speaker_04
Yeah, I've got two sets of Anabi tiles now, and I'm really excited. Molly and I played, we got, I wonder if I can show the picture, we got a perfect game, which was really cool.

00:09:29 Speaker_04
Not with the bonus set, because there's technically a six set you can play with, but.

00:09:34 Speaker_06
Look at all those tiles with colors.

00:09:37 Speaker_04
Well, this is the one without the green. We ended up using the bonus rainbow set instead of the green, but we got a perfect game. And that was shortly after Molly's surgery, so she's like, do not put my face in there. Anyway, Hanabi, acquired.

00:09:48 Speaker_04
Thank you, Internet.

00:09:49 Speaker_06
You know what you need? Somewhere in the world, there's a double green Hanabi deluxe box. If you can find that, then you'll have bought three sets and have three sets.

00:10:01 Speaker_04
And then our sets can mate and make baby sets and we can sell them for profit.

00:10:05 Speaker_06
You could breed Hanabi for others.

00:10:07 Speaker_04
I know this is less exciting because like in the context of not being lenses, you don't care, but this is my lenses.

00:10:12 Speaker_05
No, I was just about to say, I now know what it's like when I'm yapping about something you guys don't care about, because holy shit, I don't care about Hanabi.

00:10:23 Speaker_04
Welcome to two years of you and lenses.

00:10:26 Speaker_05
Sims minus minus above my head, minus minus.

00:10:30 Speaker_04
No, I'm just kidding. Servers and lenses, man. Woo. You've got a lot of making up to do to get your social up.

00:10:36 Speaker_05
No, no. See, the things I, I, the things I like are actually cool. So, you know, I think that, um, that, that makes it very clear.

00:10:44 Speaker_06
Well, I have small talk that both of you won't like. Well, hang on, you don't know yet. Maybe one of you will like it. I don't actually know for a fact you won't like it. I just assume. If I talk to you guys about the fact that I golf now. Oh no.

00:10:58 Speaker_04
Sorry, I'm already tuning out.

00:11:00 Speaker_06
Look, listen, I'm not saying that you should watch golf on TV. I'm crying.

00:11:04 Speaker_05
I'm mourning the loss of my good friend, Bob.

00:11:07 Speaker_06
No, I listen. Look, have you ever golfed? You should golf. It's hard. It's so hard, but in a fun way. I've top golfed. I haven't golfed. The Topgolf counts.

00:11:17 Speaker_06
You know, what's funny is I so I bought a set of clubs and I have played one round on one nine hole par three court, which is like a baby course, which is like the babiest baby course there is. Didn't keep score because I suck.

00:11:31 Speaker_06
But Topgolf is like they had the they track the balls, whatever you go. You guys both know Topgolf. The range that I go to to practice, that's like a more serious driving range.

00:11:42 Speaker_04
We were with you at a Topgolf. We've seen you hit the back net.

00:11:45 Speaker_06
Well, now I can do it slightly more consistently. Um, anyway, the range I go to, that's like a more serious golf place. Like they use the exact same shit. It's called the top tracer technology. It's just top golf.

00:11:58 Speaker_06
It's a, it's like a totally serious driving range, but also it's just top golf. You can do all the same shit basically, which I find really, really funny.

00:12:05 Speaker_05
That's pretty cool.

00:12:06 Speaker_06
But golf guys, we have to go golfing. It's surprisingly fun. On an actual range? I mean, Topgolf is fun. I've gone to Topgolf a couple times to like hit balls, because it still counts.

00:12:17 Speaker_05
It's still practice. I would go to Topgolf anytime, just because that is fun. You get food, and you can sit around, and you know, it's nice.

00:12:24 Speaker_06
If you go to a golf course, you get to drive golf carts around, which is fun, and way more fun than it sounds. The place I went had hills. I swear to God, it was as steep as that hill in LA that you've taken us down.

00:12:36 Speaker_06
It felt like we were on a fucking roller coaster. But also a lot of the hills were down like down into ravines over creeks. And the bridge is about two inches wider than the wheels of the golf cart.

00:12:47 Speaker_06
So you're fucking screaming down a hill just like onto a bridge. That's exactly the width you need it to be. And it's very exciting.

00:12:55 Speaker_05
Are you supposed to do that? Or is that just something you can do in a golf cart?

00:12:58 Speaker_06
You're not supposed to go as fast as you can, but there's no rule that says you're not allowed to go as fast as you can. I think Wade cursed me with my eye, because it just... something... I'm telling you, man.

00:13:11 Speaker_04
Left eye.

00:13:12 Speaker_06
Corneal abrasion! No, I like Hanabi! I like Hanabi! Anyway, I like golf now. It's fun. We should do top golf, but I just want to say the first hole I ever played on a real golf course was a very short par three.

00:13:24 Speaker_06
The first swing I took, I just fucking rifled a ball a hundred yards to my left into the woods. Didn't even think about looking for it. I took the swing and it was like, I'll get another ball.

00:13:36 Speaker_07
Okay.

00:13:37 Speaker_06
But then on that exact same hole, I take my next shot. I take another one and I'm just short, like just off the green, like about almost where you can putt it. I chip in from off the green using a pitching wedge from like 30 yards away.

00:13:51 Speaker_06
It rolls down the green into the cup. best golf shot I'm ever going to hit in my entire life. I feel like that epitomizes golf entirely for me. Started off with just the worst thing I could have done.

00:14:02 Speaker_06
Finished it with an unbelievably talented shot that I had no reason to make. And the rest of the day was very much like that. I think I lost four balls total over nine holes.

00:14:11 Speaker_04
Somehow I can hit a ball during like putt-putt, but whenever I'm actually trying to swing like I'm trying to drive it, it's like that ball is covered in grease and the club is changing length because I never know where I'm going to hit, what I'm going to hit, if I'm going to hit.

00:14:25 Speaker_04
Technique? I don't have that down.

00:14:27 Speaker_06
I don't have to go on about this, but I golf now, so get ready for that. I'm learning a lot and I'm going to talk about it.

00:14:33 Speaker_05
I will go to Topgolf with you. Absolutely. Hanabi, I'll play Hanabi at the Topgolf. I mean, I'll play Hanabi, but I want to do golf also.

00:14:41 Speaker_04
And we won't care about lenses, Mark. I'm sorry.

00:14:44 Speaker_06
We should record an episode of Distractible where we play Hanabi and go to Topgolf.

00:14:49 Speaker_04
Filmed on a Minolta lens. Oh, we'll rock it to the top, straight to the top. Like two people have been like, can you do some content on Hanabi? I'd love to see it. And I'm like, man, you're the only person who would watch.

00:14:59 Speaker_04
If I had the willpower to move my camera to do that, I would do it.

00:15:03 Speaker_05
I yearn for settlers of Catan.

00:15:05 Speaker_06
You even own other cameras. You don't even have to move your camera. You literally own another camera that I know exists that would be perfect for that.

00:15:13 Speaker_04
That really nice one that Mark got. Yeah, it's just it's sitting in a perfect spot to film Hanabi.

00:15:18 Speaker_06
Yeah, the DJI Osmo Pocket 3 that comes. It's built in with a perfect tripod that would be literally so convenient and it has a microphone. It's a it's like made for that exact purpose.

00:15:30 Speaker_04
I've got the exact amount of microphones I need to record it right now. Can't be bothered. No, that's about right.

00:15:36 Speaker_06
Good small talk, everybody, especially me. I love golf. I gave myself five points for golf. You guys better catch up. Uh, anyway, today's episode, I do have an idea and I even did research. Today's episode is called Florida or no Florida.

00:15:54 Speaker_06
Florida or no Florida. I have in front of me a series of websites and lists that I have compiled using internet research of Florida man stories, but some of them take place outside of Florida.

00:16:08 Speaker_06
A lot of them do take place in Florida, less than half, I'll be honest, less than half, but a good chunk of them, like 40% of them, take place in other places.

00:16:17 Speaker_06
And the entire game is we're gonna talk about funny Florida man stories and you guys have to guess Florida or no Florida.

00:16:25 Speaker_04
So is it possible that these people have been to Florida, caught Florida, left, and then done something

00:16:31 Speaker_06
I will say, I'm conflicted, but I've made a decision. One of them is a story about a person who is from Florida, but takes place in, like, Massachusetts. And I'm qualifying, I'm classifying that as no Florida. Wow, okay.

00:16:45 Speaker_06
Because it's about the location specifically.

00:16:48 Speaker_04
Because you can take the man out of Florida, but you can't take the Florida out of the man. So that's interesting.

00:16:52 Speaker_06
I know. I know. Well, look, I've got to be honest. It was not as easy to find a Florida man stories that weren't just in Florida as I thought it would be. Turns out most of the crazy shit happens in Florida.

00:17:04 Speaker_04
It's basically a pandemic down there, but I think it is starting to spread a little bit.

00:17:08 Speaker_06
I don't think they really cared that much about the pandemic. I think they pretty much just kept drinking.

00:17:11 Speaker_04
Well, different kind. The Florida Man pandemic. Florida Mandemic.

00:17:15 Speaker_06
I said it, but you get the points.

00:17:17 Speaker_04
It's like Sharknado, but Florida Man. Floraydo. Floraydo.

00:17:23 Speaker_06
I hate that for reasons that I can't quite describe.

00:17:26 Speaker_04
What's wrong with Floraydo? It's like a drink, a tornado, Florida Man all in one. It's what plants crave. Fluoro aid.

00:17:34 Speaker_05
Now you lose a point for fluoro aid. I dodged that one. I weaved right in there, weaved right out for the point loss. Mark Inception the shit out of you on that one.

00:17:43 Speaker_06
I choose to give my lost point to Mark. No, I give it back to you just to spite you. All right. First story. A couple, whether it's a man or a woman, the woman got pregnant. And as is common, they decided to throw a gender reveal party.

00:17:56 Speaker_06
And they decided on a budget, here's how we're going to do the gender reveal. We're going to go to our local park, catch a few pigeons. They don't really run away. They just hang out and you just grab them with your hands.

00:18:07 Speaker_06
We're going to paint them pink because it's a girl. And then we're just going to go back to that park and dump those pigeons right back where we caught them. No harm, no foul. Pigeons back home. Everybody happy.

00:18:19 Speaker_06
You may be seeing in your head the flaw in this plan that the day after the party, people at the park called authorities because there were a handful of bright pink pigeons hanging around in a place where they're usually just normal pigeons.

00:18:34 Speaker_04
Were they still alive?

00:18:36 Speaker_06
They were apparently fine. I guess pigeons are not susceptible to spray paint. I don't know, poisoning?

00:18:42 Speaker_04
Well, if you get it with lead based paint, they cancel out the negative. Right.

00:18:46 Speaker_06
The lead based paint cancels out the lead in the water. Everybody's fine.

00:18:50 Speaker_06
Anyway, this man and this woman who had such a beautiful gender reveal, I can only imagine what really I don't understand is if the point was to release the pink pigeons to be like, it's a girl. Why'd they still have them?

00:19:01 Speaker_06
They brought them back to the park. The pigeons didn't go anywhere. Oh, yeah. Wait. Did the pigeons not fly away or did they just like have them in a cage and be like, look, they're pink.

00:19:12 Speaker_05
I think they had a string on each foot and they held them up like a balloon and they were like... Get one for each party goer. Everybody grab your pigeons!

00:19:21 Speaker_04
No, don't inflate them! No! Yeah, I'm trying to figure out what the point of painting them pink even was, if they were just gonna like... Cuz it was a girl, Wade. But what did they do with the pigeons?

00:19:32 Speaker_05
He said what they did with the pigeons.

00:19:35 Speaker_06
You've seen gender reveal parties, right? It's like, there's like a firework, and the guy's like, ooh, light the firework! And it blows up and it's blue, and that means it's a boy. And also it lights a wildfire in California. That was a California story.

00:19:48 Speaker_04
But yeah, they just keep them in a cage, they just be like, look, pink pigeons? Like, yeah, what did they- I don't know.

00:19:54 Speaker_06
It's unclear. The story, the news story says that allegedly they dropped those pigeons back off at the park where they captured them.

00:20:02 Speaker_04
But what did they do with them in the meantime? They were pink. I don't know. But in what context? Was it like they started eating a cake and pink pigeons came out of the cake like strippers?

00:20:11 Speaker_06
The police were like, we don't need to know that to know what they did to these pigeons.

00:20:16 Speaker_05
Yeah, I feel like this isn't the important details to realize about this story.

00:20:19 Speaker_06
If you think about it in context, they caught these pigeons with their bare hands at a public park. The pigeons, I guess, aren't that worried about it. They didn't go, they didn't fly away when humans came lunging at them to grab them.

00:20:33 Speaker_06
Once they were pink, they were like, ah, there's bread here.

00:20:36 Speaker_04
If this is Florida and they're Florida Man Pigeons, they're like, dude, we've seen worse than this. Getting painted pink. David isn't why. Wade's doing some sleuthing on this one.

00:20:45 Speaker_05
I'm saying it's not Florida because the plan was perfectly executed. It was completed. At whatever the hell they did. Usually Florida Man stories end in, and then obviously it was a horrible disaster. Dozens are dead. That's true.

00:21:02 Speaker_04
Well, the pigeons could still end up dead from where we were at the end of the Bob's Tale. Everything dies.

00:21:09 Speaker_06
Memento Mori, am I right?

00:21:11 Speaker_04
And these pigeons, they let people catch them. They're chill. Like I said, they've seen some shit. These are Florida pigeons. This is a Florida man story.

00:21:18 Speaker_06
All right. We locked those answers in. Mark says no Florida. Wade says Florida.

00:21:22 Speaker_04
Oh, it's Florida.

00:21:23 Speaker_06
The correct answer is, of course those were Florida pigeons. What the fuck? Thank you. Thank you. You're right, Wade. Pink pigeons come from Florida. I just surprised nobody thought they were flamingos that escaped from the zoo and ended up in that park.

00:21:38 Speaker_04
There's some really short-legged flamingos in the park. They're called babies.

00:21:42 Speaker_06
We found some pygmy pomingos. Pomingos? Oh boy. It's a new species.

00:21:48 Speaker_04
Alright, great episode, Bob.

00:21:49 Speaker_06
That's not even the funniest one. This one is one of my favorites. It's just the headline, even. The story's not even that good. Headline reads, woman on motorized suitcase leads police on dramatic chase through airport.

00:22:04 Speaker_06
Apparently, the story is there was a woman who had a flight and was at the airport early and decided to go hit the bar and have a few drinks, quite a few drinks, it seems like, and then tried to get on her flight.

00:22:14 Speaker_06
And she was so drunk that the gate attendant was like, you can't fly like this. You're being a problem. All right, we're not going to let you on the flight. And this caused the woman to become quite upset.

00:22:22 Speaker_06
She was like being belligerent towards the flight attendant, gate attendant people. They called the police who were in the airport. Police showed up hilariously on a bicycle. And when the police got there, the woman

00:22:33 Speaker_06
hopped on her electric motorized suitcase and gunned it which for some reason made the police officer get on his bicycle and chase her slowly through the airport and there was a call over the radio of the bike cop and he literally was like yeah we're about to have pursuit through terminal c uh woman on a black suitcase uh bike in pursuit and so that happened

00:23:00 Speaker_04
There are motorized suitcases.

00:23:02 Speaker_05
Yeah, that's that's the thing that jumped out to me the most. I want that.

00:23:05 Speaker_06
It's like a it's like an electric scooter, but it's like it's built into the suitcase. So you like sit on top of the suitcase and a little handlebar pulls up and then you just like we.

00:23:13 Speaker_04
I have been doing airports all wrong all these years.

00:23:17 Speaker_06
I mean, it's a very new, this is like in the last couple of years I've started to see these. It's very new.

00:23:20 Speaker_05
Since the segue, I think that all forms of motorized transport are valid, considering I've tried a few oddball ones. I don't know if I can get behind the suitcase that you ride.

00:23:33 Speaker_04
Are you meant to ride it?

00:23:34 Speaker_06
Yeah, it's literally marketed as it's a suitcase. It's also a scooter. So you can ride it through the terminal. Or if you're crazy, ride it from the airport to your destination. It doesn't go that fast. This is not like you go 20 miles an hour.

00:23:48 Speaker_06
This is like a scooter that would be perfectly safe to use inside in an airport terminal goes like a few miles an hour tops.

00:23:55 Speaker_06
Drivers are gonna be so annoyed when they have to deal with a bike lane and a luggage lane bike lane scooter lane skateboard lane and luggage lane Come on, California.

00:24:04 Speaker_06
There's only one question that we need to answer Florida or no, Florida I have a question before you we answer that question.

00:24:11 Speaker_05
What airline is actually Southwest? NOT FLORIDA. FLORIDA'S NOT SOUTHWEST, IDIOT.

00:24:19 Speaker_06
That is correct. That is very true. I'm pretty sure Florida is southeast.

00:24:25 Speaker_05
Man, I ask the right questions here. Sorry, Wade. Well, Wade, I guess you lose.

00:24:31 Speaker_04
I think I've also got to go not Florida, but only because this took place in an airport.

00:24:36 Speaker_04
And that means that this person got far enough into an airport and is allowed in an airport where it's hard to believe that they could really be true Florida man.

00:24:44 Speaker_06
Probably not anymore. This might be their Florida man, Florida woman incident.

00:24:50 Speaker_04
You think it's like a coming of age thing where everyone has like their, their Florida man ritual they've got to do?

00:24:56 Speaker_06
You get banned from the liquor store, you get expelled from school, you get banned from the airport. Those are the three tenets of being a Florida person.

00:25:03 Speaker_04
Like that truth or dare Jenga game where it's like the Florida man, like, what are you going to have to do? Let's play Jenga to find out. You must low speed chase through airport on luggage.

00:25:13 Speaker_06
Anyway, what's your answer Wade? Stop stalling.

00:25:15 Speaker_04
Not Florida. Not Florida.

00:25:16 Speaker_06
This dramatic police chase took place in the Orlando Airport in Florida.

00:25:24 Speaker_05
What's Southwest doing there?

00:25:26 Speaker_06
I honestly don't know. That was a big mislead. And I was conflicted about this one because the woman was flying home from Florida. So she is not Florida woman. She is from elsewhere. But this is a Florida woman story. I'm going to say it is Florida.

00:25:41 Speaker_06
No points on that one. But yeah, that's Florida.

00:25:44 Speaker_04
I could tell she wasn't true Florida, though. She got too far into the airport.

00:25:48 Speaker_06
Alright, this next one is simple. We'll get to the bottom of it real quick. A man was driving on the interstate with his dog in the car, but no other people, and was fairly intoxicated.

00:25:58 Speaker_06
You could tell they were drunk from outside the car was swerving or driving erratically, whatever. This man eventually gets pulled over on the on the interstate while the cop is like pulling him over and getting getting out of his car and stuff.

00:26:09 Speaker_06
The guy has a brainwave, thinks and acts quickly, switches seats with his dog, puts the dog in the driver's seat, and he climbs into the passenger seat. And when the cop comes and knocks on the window, it sees that the dog is clearly the one driving.

00:26:25 Speaker_06
The man is still got in trouble for drunk driving, but he almost got away with it. Question, what was the car? It was a Ford Ranger pickup truck.

00:26:35 Speaker_04
And the man was like dressed and everything. He wasn't naked.

00:26:39 Speaker_06
Yeah, no interesting facts about the man. He just had some drinks and then was driving and being irresponsible. And the dog was also not otherwise remarkable.

00:26:48 Speaker_04
I have an inclination here. I'm going to say not Florida, but I'm going to go as far as to say not Florida. Yes, Kentucky. Damn, maybe you've heard of this story before or something. Is that what this is? No, it just gives me a listen, man.

00:27:01 Speaker_04
I've been I didn't abandon Ohio and I've just I'm used to Kentucky, man.

00:27:05 Speaker_06
Wow. Okay. All right. Well, okay. All right. Yeah, you know, I'm gonna give you an abandoning Ohio point mark since you did that so much.

00:27:12 Speaker_04
Okay, wait, hold on. I thought I was getting this. I own it.

00:27:14 Speaker_05
I own it. That's on me. That's on me, guys.

00:27:17 Speaker_04
Anyway, being here. I just I got the vibe, man. I felt it.

00:27:21 Speaker_05
I'm going to play the odds, not Florida. Because at this point, I'm so deep into the not Florida, I have to hit it.

00:27:28 Speaker_04
Bob's going to only give Florida stories.

00:27:30 Speaker_06
I'm going to be honest, I did consider that, except this story took place in Colorado. Hey, you know what?

00:27:39 Speaker_04
Kentucky, Colorado.

00:27:41 Speaker_06
That's a ka-bonus point for you, Wade. A ka-bonus?

00:27:45 Speaker_04
I'll take a ka-bonus.

00:27:46 Speaker_06
What do I get? Nothing. I didn't give him a ka-bonus, but I said almost. But Cabonis was pretty funny. This one's a little rude, but it's also kind of funny just for the situation.

00:27:56 Speaker_06
A man who lived with his parents after separating from his wife and was not doing well. The separation was hard on him. He was struggling with it. Eventually, he had quite a fair amount to drink, got kind of belligerent.

00:28:10 Speaker_06
His parents were trying to calm him down. He ended up getting his hands on a weapon of some sort, it's unclear, the news is not specific, stormed out of his parents' house and was drunk and left.

00:28:22 Speaker_06
And so his parents were concerned and they called the police. And the police showed up to the house and were like, are you guys okay?

00:28:29 Speaker_06
They were assessing the situation and the parents said, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're fine, but we're concerned about our son. He was drinking tonight. We had a weapon in the house that he got his hands on and then he just left.

00:28:39 Speaker_06
And he was angry and we're worried he's going to do something or that he might drive a car or something. And the police like, OK, OK, what does it look like? And they're like, oh, he's wearing like, you know, jeans like a red T-shirt, whatever.

00:28:50 Speaker_06
Oh, and he's quadruple amputee. There is no arms or legs. So pretty distinctive. You'll probably recognize him.

00:28:57 Speaker_06
And the police put out a bolo that said, man, belligerent, possibly drunk, consider armed and dangerous, which just feels a little insensitive. I am assuming it's a gun. I have no idea. And it's unclear also to me how he left.

00:29:14 Speaker_06
I'm assuming he had like a wheelchair or some kind of mobility device that he was able to do. Anyway, he ended up being fine. They found him. Nothing bad happened.

00:29:22 Speaker_06
He was just having a bad time with a tough divorce and had some drinks and wasn't handling it well. But it's OK. And they found him and got him home. No one got hurt. No arms and no legs. Quadruple amputee.

00:29:34 Speaker_06
It's it doesn't say it's not described as complete amputations. And so it could have been at the wrist, at the elbow. That doesn't mean he was he had no limbs whatsoever, but it does mean each of his limbs was amputated to some extent.

00:29:49 Speaker_06
And it's not very specific.

00:29:50 Speaker_04
Well, he was able to carry a weapon of some kind and he was able to leave. Well, he had a success. Well, okay. He had a marriage. I guess I can't say successful. He had a marriage. He was going through a hard time. Everyone goes through hard times.

00:29:59 Speaker_04
Perhaps if he had medical procedures done, they were done well enough where he is okay.

00:30:05 Speaker_06
His medical status was not a part of the story.

00:30:07 Speaker_04
had parents that were still together, that leads me to say not Florida. We have a lot of biases against Florida, I'm realizing as I talk up this out.

00:30:15 Speaker_06
What? An episode about judging Florida biases against Florida? What?

00:30:19 Speaker_04
I'm like, man, there's some good stuff about this guy, so it can't be Florida.

00:30:24 Speaker_05
Not Florida. This feels very Florida. It's got a whiff of Florida to it. I can smell the swamps. I can detect a little bit of Floridian in here. That's fair. It's a stank. All right. Answers locked in? Yes. It's in Florida. Yes!

00:30:40 Speaker_05
I'm finally killing it all on my way back. I'm getting crushed. You really played the odds on that one. I played the odds. Well, no, it smelled Florida. I don't know what it is, but that just seems like something that would take place in Florida.

00:30:52 Speaker_04
It ended too well, like he was fine, nothing major happened, it was just like, Florida Man stories are like, guy gets shot three times in gut with shotgun, goes to football game, ends up on rollercoaster, police baffled as to how he did all of this while bleeding out.

00:31:07 Speaker_05
I mean, doesn't this sound like, if you didn't read it like he did, Bob might have read it, you know, like, Armless, legless Florida man goes on drunk bender after messy divorce. Armed? Question mark? Uh-huh? Parentheses?

00:31:22 Speaker_06
That was very much more the tone that the actual article I was pulling. The article was like, pfft, he doesn't have any arms. Armed and dangerous, guys.

00:31:33 Speaker_04
You know, fair enough.

00:31:34 Speaker_06
This is not a hint. I'm just going to say this next one. Reeks of Florida. A 20 year old man was wanted on multiple warrants involving some kind of violent acts. Not good things.

00:31:48 Speaker_06
This person was wanted by the police for some pretty serious stuff, but was on the run. They had not found him, but they had like a picture. They knew his name, they had a picture, they knew who this guy was.

00:31:57 Speaker_06
And as part of their manhunt, they posted on the police department's social media, on Facebook and on wherever, they posted and they were like, we're wanted by the police, this is the guy's name, he's 20 years old, he's 5'10", he's 140 pounds, here's his picture, if you see him or if you know him, please call us and be careful, he might be dangerous.

00:32:18 Speaker_06
A bunch of people commented, like they do, and one of the comments reads, Y'all almost had me the other day. You gotta be quicker than that.

00:32:27 Speaker_06
The suspect wrote from his own personal Facebook account with his own picture and name on it that was clearly actually his account. The police responded and were like, Hey, you better get in here. What are you doing?

00:32:40 Speaker_06
And he responded to their comment and said, what do I get if I turn myself in? It turns out you get nothing. You get arrested. There was no reward to him for turning himself in. I really need the money. I guess I'll turn me in. I found him, officer.

00:32:55 Speaker_06
They found him. He was just like hiding out at a friend's house. It was not spectacular. They found him. He just saw the post and was like, you almost had me. I just imagined that guy from that commercial with the big fishing pole with the dollar on it.

00:33:09 Speaker_06
And he's like, Oh, you want a dollar? You gotta be quicker than that. It's like an insurance commercial from the 2000s or something.

00:33:16 Speaker_05
But when you were saying like this one reeks of Florida, it does, doesn't it? It does. And if it looks like a Florida, if it smells like a Florida, if it feels like a Florida, I got to go with Florida. I'm not going to let any bias get in there.

00:33:31 Speaker_05
I'm thinking that if you didn't say that at all, I'd be 100% Florida. So I'm going to stick with that.

00:33:36 Speaker_04
Not Florida. I would have given you more descriptions, but I really had to sneeze.

00:33:42 Speaker_06
Now you just sneezed references. I got it. It landed. All right. This took place and wait, this is going to make us look really good. And this took place in Ohio, the Florida of the North.

00:33:55 Speaker_04
Hey, we are Florida man before they get old, retire and go to Florida.

00:33:58 Speaker_05
Yeah, that's fair. Ohio is more of like a, you know, like a dark fantasy versus the fan of the whimsical fantasy of Florida. Ohio has all the like terrible monsters and mythos like that.

00:34:10 Speaker_04
I also knew this story because that was my cousin. That would be really funny.

00:34:13 Speaker_06
Oh, I like this one, too. These are all fun stories. You know, this is the story of a 26 year old woman who is just dropping her friend off down the police station. Her friend contacted her and was like, hey, I need to go to the police station.

00:34:27 Speaker_06
Can you give me a ride? And the woman was like, I'm a good friend. I can definitely give you a ride.

00:34:32 Speaker_06
let's go and they got in her SUV and she drove down to the police station and dropped her friend off and then proceeded to drive into the parking garage of the police station into an area that was pedestrians only down several staircases and ended up getting stuck down at the bottom of these staircases in an area that's not car-sized because it's for people to walk in because it's stairs

00:34:56 Speaker_06
Um, and when the, it is at the police station, uh, where the police came and, and talked to the woman and she was like, listen, my bad. I was just following what my GPS told me to do.

00:35:07 Speaker_06
And the police were like, ah, we think it might be because you're super drunk right now. Let's take you inside and figure this out. Was she? She was incredibly drunk.

00:35:18 Speaker_06
This is not the highest blood alcohol level in my list of stories, but she was more than twice the legal limit according to this news article.

00:35:27 Speaker_04
So, her decision was, while drunk, let's drive. Already terrible, about as bad as it can get. But let's also drive to the police station.

00:35:36 Speaker_05
A safe destination. She heard there was a reward for turning yourself in. She was like, I gotta get in on that.

00:35:41 Speaker_04
This one feels like it could be anywhere, but she's a Florida gal. Wade's picking up something.

00:35:46 Speaker_05
No, I also say Florida, uh, because... Well, well, well, where's the balls on this one? Right, I don't know, man, I don't know, man. Oh, they're shrinking!

00:35:55 Speaker_06
Oh, they're gone!

00:35:57 Speaker_05
I knew it. The excuse is what gets it to me. The excuse feels Florida. I believe Florida.

00:36:03 Speaker_06
What do you think an Ohio woman would have just been like, oh you got me. I drank sir.

00:36:08 Speaker_04
I think what he's saying is the GPS was also drunk and that only happens in Florida. It's water cooling was twice the limit.

00:36:16 Speaker_05
Look man, if there's a voice pack for like a drunk GPS. Take a left in, I don't know, a little bit. You missed it! Turn around! Make a U-turn, MAKE A U-TURN!

00:36:28 Speaker_06
It's, I know where, I know where it is. It's up here on the right. Left. It's on the left. I think. It's like a, there's like a street sign.

00:36:35 Speaker_05
Yeah, be in the left to go right. It feels really weird, but do it.

00:36:40 Speaker_04
Pull over, I don't feel very good.

00:36:46 Speaker_06
Alright, you're both right. That took place in Florida. How could it not?

00:36:54 Speaker_05
I understand it now.

00:36:55 Speaker_06
Well, I like this one. This one, the headlines not so flashy, but the story is pretty good. This one is, there's a man in his 20s who stole a truck.

00:37:06 Speaker_06
Caught stealing the truck, police were called, police pursued this person in the truck and he's driving and gets onto a street where there's like a police blockade ahead of him.

00:37:17 Speaker_06
He sees there's police parked up, he's being chased by police, he's done for. But he has an idea. He stops the truck and bails out and hops on his skateboard.

00:37:27 Speaker_06
Interesting side note, this man was wearing a high visibility construction worker vest, could not be more visible in the in the evening dusk setting sun. We got on a skateboard while surrounded on all sides by buildings and police in cars.

00:37:46 Speaker_06
Did he escape on the skateboard? No, no, he did not. literally hopped on the skateboard and skated right at the blockade. And the cops were just like, and pushed him over and, and arrested him. And he got in trouble for stealing the truck.

00:38:01 Speaker_06
Cause that's not, not allowed. Anyway, I just love that he's wearing, there's a picture of him like post arrest from like a news, whatever, people somewhere nearby.

00:38:11 Speaker_06
He's literally wearing one of those bright yellow with retro reflective tape vests that you can see from two miles away that guys wear when they're working on the highway at night.

00:38:21 Speaker_06
Even if he could get past the cops, they could see him from everywhere.

00:38:26 Speaker_04
This greedy asshole had a skateboard and thought he needed to steal a car too. How many wheels do you need?

00:38:31 Speaker_06
What if the skateboard was in the stolen car? Maybe it was just fortuitous.

00:38:35 Speaker_04
He just happened to know how to skateboard and stole a truck with a skateboard and it was like, there's no way they'll stop me. He's got a getaway contingency for his getaway.

00:38:43 Speaker_06
Yeah, well, clearly it worked out so well. How could you explain that? And there's construction everywhere.

00:38:48 Speaker_04
All he has to do is hop out and he'll blend in.

00:38:50 Speaker_06
He hops out with a shovel and he's just like, just digging the road.

00:38:55 Speaker_04
What are you guys doing? Officers, stand back. Gas leak.

00:39:00 Speaker_05
All right, to get here as quickly as possible, the emergency road gas leak problem, it's fine. I think that this one has all the hallmarks of Florida and I'm already locking it in, but I'm going to explain it. It has a multi-step plan.

00:39:15 Speaker_05
All these Florida man or Florida woman things have multi-step plans. They have an objective and then they circumvent when obstacles get in their way and they have a funky escape vehicle. I think this has every hallmark of a Florida.

00:39:29 Speaker_04
I do too, except skateboarding in Florida is pretty hot. Not Florida.

00:39:32 Speaker_06
Pretty hot already. I feel like what you want is hot weather outside or skateboarding.

00:39:38 Speaker_04
You want warm weather.

00:39:39 Speaker_06
Well, okay, that seems like a narrow distinction, but okay. Anyway, despite your flawed reasoning, Wade, this took place in Los Angeles. No! It was Mark. Los Angeles, the Florida of California, if you will.

00:39:53 Speaker_05
Yes, yes, yes, absolutely. Are you sure it wasn't Florida? Are you sure?

00:39:58 Speaker_06
It says in the news article that this was the LAPD and it happened in downtown L.A. I thought I was trying to mask it a little bit.

00:40:08 Speaker_06
Part of the reason he couldn't get away except for the two ends of the street was it was on a grid like an overpass in L.A. Right.

00:40:16 Speaker_06
It was it's a very city thing where it's like he was on an overpass where there's literally nothing on either side and you have to go one way or the other. And the cops had him fully surrounded at this point.

00:40:25 Speaker_06
Cause in a normal situation, he could have like run through the, into a building or through the buildings, but he, he had no choice but to skateboard.

00:40:32 Speaker_04
I knew this had a Pacific kind of like California warm weather feel. Yeah, there's no warm weather in Florida.

00:40:40 Speaker_06
It's hot in LA.

00:40:42 Speaker_04
It's too hot to skateboard in Florida, Dan.

00:40:44 Speaker_06
It's worse in LA. I don't know if it's worse. It's just as hot as shit in LA kind of, but not as human.

00:40:50 Speaker_04
No, no, no. It's slightly more tolerable.

00:40:53 Speaker_06
You were wrong, but also you were right. It's just annoying. All right, I like this one because it's an intrusive thought that I've totally had before.

00:41:04 Speaker_06
A man and a woman were arrested at a Walmart because they walked into the store, got a cart, were doing some shopping, got hungry, grabbed a rotisserie chicken, ate half of it, decided they were full,

00:41:18 Speaker_06
and put the rotisserie chicken back on the heating shelf where they keep those so that someone else could enjoy the other half meal. Turns out Walmart did not take too kindly to this. They called the cops.

00:41:30 Speaker_06
They were arrested for, I don't know, I assume the crime of eww or something like that. I've definitely had that thought. I've had times, you know, you go to Costco and you're a little hungry because it's like you haven't had lunch or something.

00:41:41 Speaker_06
And rotisserie chicken smells really good. What a foul play.

00:41:45 Speaker_04
Negative point. They left a paltry amount of meat on the bone.

00:41:49 Speaker_06
Take it easy. You're really burning a lot of points on this right now.

00:41:53 Speaker_05
Calm down. They got the five feathered disc. I can't. I can't do it. Let's just drop this right now, guys. It's just a warning.

00:42:03 Speaker_06
Thank you. Thank you, sir. It'll let you off easy like they knew in Florida, the finger licking bandits. Florida or no Florida.

00:42:11 Speaker_04
Here's the problem. Walmart is the Florida of stores. So any Walmart is capable of having this happen.

00:42:19 Speaker_06
I know, but they're everywhere. I know of three Walmarts within half an hour of my house in Ohio. They're everywhere.

00:42:25 Speaker_04
But like the Walmart vibe is definitely a thing. I mean, hell, I walked through a Walmart one time like 10 years ago, and I feel like I farted through three straight aisles. Like weird things just happened to you in Walmart.

00:42:35 Speaker_06
Why would you don't have? Why did you did that? You chose to do that. Why did you do that?

00:42:39 Speaker_04
My body chose to do it. I just wouldn't stop.

00:42:41 Speaker_06
You're what's wrong with Walmart is what you're saying. Yeah. Wait, why did you? I went into Walmart and I just started stealing stuff.

00:42:49 Speaker_04
I just want to let you know man Walmart is the place that that stuff happens. It changes you. It's like the full moon for a werewolf. It brings out something in you to be in a Walmart.

00:42:58 Speaker_06
You just felt permission to behave like that because you have preconceived notions about Walmart.

00:43:04 Speaker_04
People fart dude, it happens.

00:43:05 Speaker_06
Yeah, you don't have to. This crop dust three consecutive aisles. I thought it would end. God, was one fart?

00:43:16 Speaker_04
I was being propelled. I was on my skateboard just like This feels not quite Florida Manny enough, but that's exactly why it probably was Florida. I'm gonna go with Florida.

00:43:29 Speaker_05
This is obvious. And you're dumb. Except you're right in that it's Florida because I can see the headline of something something eating chicken leaving in there. Ew, gross.

00:43:43 Speaker_04
I like the eww gross in the headline. Eww gross. By John Scott.

00:43:48 Speaker_05
This took place in Tampa Bay, Florida. JP did this. I thought you were going to say Tampa Bay, North Dakota. That would be a hell of a twist.

00:44:00 Speaker_04
Tampa Bay, France.

00:44:03 Speaker_06
is pronounced, how would you pronounce that in a bad French accent? Tampa Bay. Yeah, that's French. None of those syllables are French. Lay Tampa Bay. Yeah. Lay Tampa Bay. There you go. Perfect.

00:44:18 Speaker_06
Anyway, it's really close, but also I'm going to make this last one worth four points. That's an oddly specific amount of points. It's super close. If it's so close, why does it need to be such a big number?

00:44:31 Speaker_06
Why do I feel like I'm down and you're giving me a chance? No, no, you're right, Mark. That's too generous. How about this? The main question, I'm going to make that worth two points.

00:44:41 Speaker_06
If you can guess either which city in Florida it happened in or which other state it happened in, that's bonus points to bonus points. And it's, we'll do closest city in Florida. So it doesn't have to be like the exact one.

00:44:56 Speaker_06
I'll look on a map and we'll decide.

00:44:58 Speaker_04
You're really steering this toward being in Florida. I don't know.

00:45:02 Speaker_06
I just, I, I was like, it'll be whichever state, but if it's, if it's in Florida, I don't think you should get bonus points for being in Florida. This is not, I'm not trying to give it away. I'm just trying to cover my bases.

00:45:11 Speaker_06
Anyway, the headline reads Amazon delivery driver really needed to make sure they didn't get another write up at work.

00:45:20 Speaker_06
Uh, then Amazon delivery driver walked through an active shooter scene where police were like circled up and dealing with an active, well, not an active shooter, but someone who had a gun and was like, hold up.

00:45:37 Speaker_06
And the police were trying to arrest them. And they were like, don't come in or I'll start blasting sort of thing. Said the Amazon driver pulled up to the scene and was like, if I don't deliver this package, Gary's going to fucking write me up again.

00:45:50 Speaker_06
I'm gonna get unpaid leave gonna get demerits on my on my personnel thought whatever. And so this Amazon driver with a it's a tiny package. It's one of those like small smallest boxes Amazon has.

00:46:02 Speaker_06
There's a video of them very casually walking past all the police call the cops are kind of like, wait, stop what the shit and they just keep going up to the it's like up to the house

00:46:13 Speaker_06
next to the one that the person they're dealing with is in, just leaves the package, takes the picture, walks casually back past all the cops to the Amazon truck. Just really, really wanted to make sure delivery got there.

00:46:26 Speaker_06
It was two day prime shipping. Didn't want to cause any problems.

00:46:30 Speaker_04
This is fucked. But my member of my imagination was he goes to the house. The guy's in is like it says that there's like munitions in here. You have to sign for this. Who ordered the five grenades? Was it you?

00:46:43 Speaker_06
Crazy story. But there's only one question that matters. I guess there's two on this one. But the first question that matters is Florida or no Florida. And it's the Florida no Florida is worth two points.

00:46:54 Speaker_04
I am going to say not Florida.

00:46:58 Speaker_06
OK, since you're committed to not Florida, do you want to lock in a guess for what state this took place in? Just so you have all your answers in at one time.

00:47:06 Speaker_04
I'm feeling like a New England vibe here. That's not a state. I'll be more specific, I guess. Maine, Vermont. Hold on, I'm definitely not gonna eeny meeny miny moe this. I know which state I think this is. Which one is it?

00:47:26 Speaker_04
That's really the only thing that matters. Massachusetts.

00:47:29 Speaker_06
Were you trying to think what state is fucking Boston in that whole time and you couldn't remember?

00:47:34 Speaker_04
Oh no, I'm familiar with Massachusetts.

00:47:36 Speaker_06
Okay, Massachusetts. Got it. Locked in.

00:47:38 Speaker_05
This is a trick. It's a trick. Splitting up into two parts and giving extra points for identifying what state it actually is. Sounds like it. Or what city in Florida. Or what city in Florida. I forgot about that part.

00:47:51 Speaker_05
Okay, the trick is falling apart before my eyes. It's a trick that's not tricky at all. This is Florida and I know so many cities in Florida. Well, I've already said a couple during this episode that you could recall.

00:48:06 Speaker_06
Oh, have you? I will pick Jacksonville. Oh, I didn't even say that one yet. Mark knows so many cities. All right. I told you I knew so many cities.

00:48:16 Speaker_04
Jacksonville is home to a lot of Florida man stories. I think he's trying to trick me and I will not be tricked.

00:48:21 Speaker_06
Mark is locked in to yes, Florida, Jacksonville. Wade is locked into no Florida, Massachusetts. This took place in Raleigh, North Carolina, a city I lived in for seven years. So Wade gets two points, but no bonus points.

00:48:37 Speaker_06
And Mark, you're just actually flat out wrong.

00:48:41 Speaker_05
I don't think I've ever guessed worse in a game like this ever in my life. Did I only get two? Have I only gotten two? You got four.

00:48:51 Speaker_06
Oh, okay. But two of those both of you got. That doesn't really help you. I don't know that I got that many more, right? Well, we'll find out because I'm about to read what you got points for.

00:49:03 Speaker_06
Mark, you earned points for Savin' Bacon, Abandoned Ohio, Dog UI, Quadruple Amputee, Police Station DUI, and Finger Lickin' Bandits. Oh, by the way, the person whose name I read first is the loser today.

00:49:20 Speaker_06
Wade, you got points for Breeding Hanabis, Minolta Lens, Florida man pan mandemic Florida mandemic pink pigeons faithful to Ohio. You also got the dog UI. You got got to be quicker than that. Oh, you also got police station DUI.

00:49:38 Speaker_06
You got LA skateboard man foul play got you minus one point. You actually have minus one point. There was another chicken pun that you said that got you another minus point, but I didn't write down what it was.

00:49:49 Speaker_06
But you also got point for three aisle fart finger licking bandits and you just got Amazon standoff mark your efforts today gained you seven points and Wade your efforts today gained you 13 points

00:50:06 Speaker_06
Minus 2 Which means that you still won with 11 points Wait, did you think 13 minus 2 is gonna be less than 8?

00:50:14 Speaker_06
I don't know what episode you were listening to Wade the whole time Mark was like, oh my god I'm getting my ass kicked and you were like no you're not we're doing the same I really thought we were I was getting crushed every guess I was like man Mark and I are guessing the same thing every time

00:50:30 Speaker_06
You had two that you both got. The rest of them, Mark got two, and you got six?

00:50:35 Speaker_04
Well, two of those were the last one, right? So I only got two other ones he didn't.

00:50:39 Speaker_06
No, those aren't points. Those are things you got right. Oh.

00:50:42 Speaker_04
No, no, Mark and I were basically the same.

00:50:45 Speaker_05
you got you got five and mark got two and you both tied on two of them yeah what's crazy is i was telling you as it was happening the whole show like i'm getting destroyed fuck i'm losing god i still don't believe you i think i really appreciate the ride or die mentality that's great i just wanted you to feel like you were in it man we are in this together mark just like a construction worker on a skateboard we're gonna ride this out

00:51:13 Speaker_06
Anyway, congratulations, Wade, and Mark, I think you saw this coming from a long ways away, even though Wade didn't understand what was happening, but you really did try, buddy, and I appreciate it. You know what?

00:51:23 Speaker_06
Somehow, your reasons for your guesses were better than Wade's, but you were also less correct than him, which is just disappointing.

00:51:31 Speaker_04
Can the reasons really be better if I was right?

00:51:34 Speaker_06
Oh yeah. Mark Loser Speech.

00:51:36 Speaker_05
I apologize for my performance this one. It just wasn't my day. I wasn't on my A game. I tried to use my brain. That should be a lesson I take into the future. I just can't relate to the Floridian experience apparently.

00:51:50 Speaker_05
And I've lost my Ohio roots and I will hereby retire in disgrace from my dishonorable discharge from this podcast. I accept your retirement and your disgrace.

00:52:02 Speaker_04
Wade, winner speech. Uh, thank you, Bob, for another fun one. I don't know why Mark said he got destroyed. I feel like we're really close. We're neck and neck. We have been the whole time. I feel like that's a bit exaggerated.

00:52:12 Speaker_04
We're probably within, like, one point of each other, honestly, if we're not tied. As an Ohio man, I've got a lot of connections to Florida and Florida men.

00:52:19 Speaker_04
I hang out with a couple regularly, so I can tell the Florida vibe, because I live the Florida vibe. Because Ohio is just Florida that's not retired yet.

00:52:27 Speaker_06
That's very true. Very sage of you. Good wisdom you're dropping on us or something. Anyway, congratulations, Wade. That means you're hosting the next episode. Find us on socials. I am MySkirm. Wade is LordMinion777 or Minion777. Wade is Markiplier?

00:52:44 Speaker_05
I had to withdraw from my own channel.

00:52:45 Speaker_06
Yeah, Mark's quitting everything. He's gone. Say goodbye, everybody. Yeah, Marcus Markiplier. We have merch, distractiblestore.com. That's the end of the episode. Thanks so much for watching.

00:52:54 Speaker_06
Make sure you follow the podcast, because then your phone or your tablet or whatever will tell you. You can only watch it on Spotify, though, so you better watch it on Spotify. I thought I had something else to say. I don't, because the podcast is over.

00:53:04 Speaker_06
That's the end. Okay, bye. Podcast out. Editors, blow us up.