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Episode: Episode 622: Listener Tales 92

Author: Morbid Network | Wondery
Duration: 00:45:02

Episode Shownotes

Happy Thanksgiving! Pull up a chair and get ready for a brand new batch of tales brought TO you, BY you (Salad Fingers & the Sims thief), For you, FROM you, and ALLLLL about you!Today we have some wild tales about break ins, child snatching, horrifying close calls, and our

GIRL from Brockton! Don't forget to check out the VIDEO from this episode available on YouTube on 11/28/24!If you’ve got a listener tale please send it on over to [email protected] with “Listener Tales” somewhere in the subject line :)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Summary

In Episode 622 of 'Morbid,' the hosts present a collection of Listener Tales focused on home invasions and kidnappings, creating a blend of eerie experiences and lighthearted commentary. The stories include a close call with a child abduction, encounters with strange individuals, and recounts of personal trauma linked to crime. Amidst the chilling narratives, humor is infused into discussions, maintaining an engaging atmosphere for listeners as they explore the darker sides of everyday life, all themed around Thanksgiving.

Go to PodExtra AI's episode page (Episode 622: Listener Tales 92) to play and view complete AI-processed content: summary, mindmap, topics, takeaways, transcript, keywords and highlights.

Full Transcript

00:00:00 Speaker_06
Hey Weirdos, before we unleash today's macabre mystery, we were wondering, have you ever heard of Wondery Plus? It's like a secret passage to an ad-free lair with early access to episodes.

00:00:09 Speaker_06
You can join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or in Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

00:00:15 Speaker_00
You're listening to a Morbid Network podcast.

00:00:21 Speaker_06
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00:01:11 Speaker_06
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00:01:23 Speaker_06
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00:01:34 Speaker_06
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00:01:50 Speaker_03
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00:02:33 Speaker_08
Hello, weirdos. I'm Salad Fingers.

00:02:38 Speaker_07
And I'm the really terrifying and traumatizing burglar from Sims 1.

00:02:43 Speaker_08
I don't know you, but this is a rusty spoon.

00:02:48 Speaker_07
It's actually morbid. Oh.

00:03:09 Speaker_08
I'm terrified. Anyway, it's brought to you by you. Actually, no, it's brought to you by Marjorie Stewart Baxter and Jeremy Fisher and Hubert Cumberdale.

00:03:31 Speaker_08
Oh no, it's actually brought to you just by, um, Hubert Cumberdale and, oh, oh, it's actually brought to you by Jeremy Stewart Baxter! Jeremy Fisher!

00:03:45 Speaker_06
Oh, Jeremy Fisher, I got confused because you stole all my things. That's what I do. I don't know, guys. It got fucking weird in here. Something's vibrating. Is it mom? It's mom. We're in the middle of ListenerTales. Guys, you thought last time was weird.

00:04:06 Speaker_06
This time is even weirder. Because of this.

00:04:09 Speaker_08
Well should we get on to the Listener Tales?

00:04:14 Speaker_06
Yeah guys so Listener Tales is weird now. Super weird. Listener Tales is weird now. Listener Tales is literally so weird. It's fun though. It's so fun. Because it's after Halloween.

00:04:26 Speaker_07
Yeah. And we still get to do fun stuff. It's still Halloween. Yeah it's still Halloween in our hearts forever.

00:04:32 Speaker_06
I love this so much. I'm having a lot of fun. This is fun. Yeah. I'm kind of nervous about um getting this green paint off my face. I'm obviously nervous for you.

00:04:42 Speaker_06
Yeah what happened was I got like a green powder makeup by accident and it worked like with water I like mixed it and I was able to put it on my face but then it wouldn't work on the bald cap because I didn't go actually bald for this look I just you know put a bald cap on.

00:04:55 Speaker_06
You didn't commit you know. Listen I think I committed. You did. But did you see you didn't. I said you did. Oh I was like wow.

00:05:02 Speaker_07
I feel like damn bitch.

00:05:03 Speaker_06
I was like I feel like I did. Um but yeah so I'm um there's acrylic paint on top of my head is what I what I was gonna say.

00:05:10 Speaker_07
And a little bit on her face so. And neck. We will see how this is going.

00:05:14 Speaker_06
Yeah we'll post photos of the aftermath.

00:05:16 Speaker_07
You know we'll see if there's any kind of irritation happening. I'm excited to see.

00:05:20 Speaker_06
There's definitely irritation happening right here where

00:05:24 Speaker_07
Jeremy Fisher is Jeremy Fisher. And honestly, my thing was so easy to make, but I got this plumb bob. You know this plumb bob. From Bob the Builder on Etsy. I love that. So go check him out, he does cool stuff.

00:05:40 Speaker_07
He told me how to work it and stuff, so like Bob forever. I'm gonna be starting this ListenerTales experience here. Let's go, brother. Let's go. So this one, I should probably go back and tell you what it's actually called.

00:05:56 Speaker_07
Yeah, that's kind of the whole thing. It's a little hard. Okay, this one's called ListenerTale. It's more of a yoink than a yeet, ListenerTale. This one is very funny.

00:06:06 Speaker_06
And I like that a lot.

00:06:08 Speaker_06
uh let's see i'm gonna open it up oh yeah also we went with like a home invasions kind of um theme and like kidnapping sort of because it's like your thing i don't i know you're not a kidnapper no you're kind of a kidnapper you put kids in ovens i know you're right i just didn't want to talk about it here and now sorry i never got caught i never got caught

00:06:28 Speaker_07
All right, so it says, picture it, the summer of 1977 in a suburb of Chicago called Cicero.

00:06:35 Speaker_06
Cicero.

00:06:35 Speaker_07
Cicero, famous for being the home of the gangster Al Capone. That's pretty badass. That is really badass. Scary, but badass. Yeah. This also has a picture of Sophia from the Golden Girls on the phone. Of course. Like, picture it, the summer of 1977.

00:06:50 Speaker_07
the heat and humidity of the day simmering off the asphalt in a small there there you go in a small brick bungalow style home my mother sauntered about in the stagnant heat of the kitchen her youngest sat upon her hip moi the child so angelic and small was only months old her strawberry red hair plastered to her absolutely adorable and wittle head poetic license will be used and most likely abused

00:07:15 Speaker_07
In the basement of this bungalow was the rest of the schmucks and staff, er, I mean my siblings. My sister Coco, nine at the time, my brother Benny, ten, Joe, eight, Rodrigo, seven, and Bobby, five.

00:07:27 Speaker_07
They played about in the coolest spot in the house without a care in the world, wreaking havoc amongst each other because kids, am I right? You're right. You are right. Oh, and also because boys. They do be rambunctious.

00:07:40 Speaker_07
Any who's all as they played about in the basement and unbeknownst to my mother, a man creeped in behind, this is horrifying. A man creeped in between the narrow walkway between our home and the neighbors.

00:07:51 Speaker_07
He stopped at the small window, a window barely any bigger than a doggy door that sat at ground level peering into the basement. He beat on the window until breaking the glass. Not the glass. Like there's children in there.

00:08:08 Speaker_07
I think that's kind of his objective. I hate that. I know. I hate him for that. I do too. Near that window was little Bobby. Not little Bobby. Not little Bobby. Bobby.

00:08:18 Speaker_07
Standing there with his little root beer belly, chubby cheeks, his dark hair growing darker with sweat. The man reached in and yoinked him out of the basement. Yoink. And into the oven. Bye-bye little Bobby. Bye-bye. I didn't say that. You did.

00:08:32 Speaker_07
Coco, Benny, Joe and Rodrigo ran upstairs to the kitchen. They reached my mom, started pulling on her shirt. Mom! Mom! They started yelling, he grabbed Bobby! He grabbed Bobby! He pulled him out the window! Here's the thing.

00:08:45 Speaker_07
I would have died if I was that mother. Yeah, on impact. Your kids run up to you and say he grabbed Bobby. He grabbed Bobby. He pulled him out the window. Dead. How do you react to that?

00:08:57 Speaker_06
She throws the baby and goes to get the bomb.

00:09:00 Speaker_07
Holy shit. My mother, obviously in shock, handed the golden child, the beautiful little baby so sweet and innocent, to her sister, Coco, and went down to the basement to see the destruction for herself, not quite believing what she heard.

00:09:13 Speaker_07
As the kid said, the window was broken with only small shards still. Small shards. Only small shards. Only small chards. What is it? Chards? Shards? It's shards. It's shards. Correctly. Yeah. Okay. It's like shard. Small shards.

00:09:27 Speaker_07
I don't know why that sounded so wrong in my head. Still sticking inside the frame. The police were called and alerted to the situation. I'm horrified for your entire family. Very scary.

00:09:38 Speaker_07
As everyone went outside to wait for the police, my brothers pointed to the elderly neighbor sitting in the backyard, rocking away on his glider while drinking. Mommy, he is the man who took Bobby. No. Just went across the street? No.

00:09:53 Speaker_07
Next to the elderly neighbor was a little dark-haired boy with his own drink. It's Bobby. What the fuck is going on here? Hello? What is going on? If you guessed that it was my brother sitting with the neighbor, you would be correct. Yes.

00:10:08 Speaker_07
The elderly neighbor was lonely and just wanted to share a beer and a chat with someone. I'm sorry. Yeah. I'm sorry, no. He wasn't all there. No. Yeah. No. His family was located and called to help. His son arrived and was very apologetic.

00:10:24 Speaker_07
Eventually, our neighbor was placed in a nursing home to get the 24-7 care he needed, and all was well again. That is so sad. I know. And so horrifying.

00:10:33 Speaker_06
It's so sad on so many levels, because childhood trauma immediately for Bobby. And then, like, obviously that neighbor, like, wasn't all there. Didn't mean any harm. Didn't mean any harm.

00:10:43 Speaker_07
But, like, Holy shit. Yeah. Even though there was still glass left in the frame, little Bobby was not injured at all. In my best Keith Morrison impression, I don't see Bobby drinking much beer. Could it be because of this incident?

00:10:57 Speaker_07
Could it be because he prefers the harder stuff? We'll never know. To this day, my siblings still refuse to answer the question of, did he really reach down and grab him or did you all just lift him up as an offering? I love it so. I love that.

00:11:14 Speaker_06
It's so good.

00:11:15 Speaker_07
That's a good one. I like that one. And can I say your name? Let me see. You may use my name, April. April. Thank you for that, April. I didn't want to call you out if I couldn't. April, we love you. April, that was a good one. And horrifying.

00:11:26 Speaker_07
Horrifying, but like had a happy ending. It did.

00:11:29 Speaker_06
And it was funny. Yeah, exactly. So I like that one. All right, my next one is... I think I can say your name. Yeah, I can. Okay. So this is the time I almost had a playdate with a kidnapper.

00:11:42 Speaker_07
I hate this.

00:11:42 Speaker_06
Yeah. Hello, wonderful ladies. I want to start off the story by saying the usual. You are amazing and thank you so much for doing what you do. I found your podcast while listening to my girls over at National Park after dark. And we love them so much.

00:11:57 Speaker_06
And I've been hooked ever since. My name is Devin and yes you can use my name. Hey Devin. Hey Devin. What's up Devin? How are you?

00:12:04 Speaker_06
This story takes place in the good old early 90s when kids like me often ran around unsupervised outside and I was usually barefoot. My family didn't have a lot of money. I lived in a small rented house on the outskirts of Anatok I think it is.

00:12:18 Speaker_06
I like it. Antioch. Somewhere in California. I just said California. I have to go. We're struggling. We really are. It's kind of late. All right. You lived in California. Then small city about 30 miles outside of San Francisco in the East Bay.

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00:14:54 Speaker_06
It was seemingly a normal summer afternoon, and being the oldest child with an infant sibling to entertain me, I was playing out front of my house alone. My family- sorry, I need to zoom in because I'm literally blind. It's who I am.

00:15:12 Speaker_06
It was a seemingly normal summer afternoon and being the oldest child with only an infant sibling to entertain me, I was playing out front of my house alone.

00:15:19 Speaker_06
My family home had a giant white birch tree in the front yard surrounded by grass and a small garden. Oh that sounds lovely. It's gorgeous. Gorgeous.

00:15:29 Speaker_06
um the yard was enclosed in a giant cast iron gate thank god more on that soon oh it had ivy stretching up around it and it smelled of fresh herbs in the summer evenings that's gorgeous and beautiful and lovely i love it setting a scene deafen it says my mother was just in or sorry it why can't i do this

00:15:49 Speaker_07
You know?

00:15:49 Speaker_06
I don't know.

00:15:50 Speaker_07
Sometimes it's hard. You became a different thing today.

00:15:52 Speaker_06
I did.

00:15:53 Speaker_07
That's a lot. Yeah, this isn't Salad Fingers first.

00:15:56 Speaker_06
This is Salad Fingers first rodeo.

00:15:58 Speaker_07
It is. So give them a minute. Yeah, give them a minute.

00:16:01 Speaker_06
All right. This says, my mother was just inside caring for my sister when this story occurred.

00:16:05 Speaker_06
I was sitting in the grass playing with one of those cheat balls you see at the grocery store in those giant bins that you either wanted to climb into as a kid or throw balls over the top of. You know what I'm talking about. Absolutely, I do.

00:16:16 Speaker_06
I still love those. I always just picture somebody taking a ball from like the inside or the inside like bottom and then everything just like plummeting down. I love it. It was common for people to walk by my house.

00:16:28 Speaker_06
There was a small cafe up the road on the corner and many people from our neighborhood frequented it. My house also backed up to two separate cemeteries and I spent a lot of time getting to know each person buried in them.

00:16:39 Speaker_06
But that's a story for another time. Devon! That's a story for right now, Devon. Yeah, Devon, that's always a story for right now. Come on. I love that story. I love that.

00:16:48 Speaker_06
I wasn't in the front yard long when I noticed a strange woman accompanied by a blonde girl a bit older than myself walk by with a small child in the stroller. I was immediately intrigued. Another child in the neighborhood?

00:16:59 Speaker_06
I didn't know them, but I was desperate to have somebody else to play with. The woman sees my interest and stops in front of the gate to my house. This startles me, as I was taught stranger danger like everybody else.

00:17:11 Speaker_06
However, the woman seemed okay and she had kids with her. How bad could she be? I was taught that if I was ever lost to find a policeman or another mom with kids, so this mom couldn't be bad, I wandered over to the gate. Oh no.

00:17:23 Speaker_06
The woman asked me my name and asked if I lived there. I said yes and looked to the other kids. The older girl did not look at me one time. This immediately threw up alarm bells in my head even as a kid.

00:17:34 Speaker_06
So much so that I remember this encounter to this day. Oh, I'm so nervous. Yeah, something was wrong and even my small child brain knew it. The woman then asked if I wanted to go play with my ball with her daughters.

00:17:48 Speaker_07
No. No. No. I don't like this at all.

00:18:09 Speaker_06
She's upset! The plumb bob! I don't like this at all. He said no, no, no. I'm mad. Maybe sensing my concern, the woman asked if I wanted to set up a play date and asked if my parents were around. She quickly looked over to me and around toward the house.

00:18:23 Speaker_06
It was then, thankfully, that my mom rushed outside and yelled at me to get away from the fence. Yeah, get the fuck away from her. Yeah. Get away from that cuckoo lady! I backed away, releasing myself from the woman's grip, and ran to my mom.

00:18:34 Speaker_06
Without even another word, the woman and the girls quickly walked down the street, pushing the stroller out of sight, and I don't remember ever seeing them again. But the story's not over.

00:18:44 Speaker_07
I was gonna say, if I was that mom, I think I would have like linebacker style tackled that woman to the ground.

00:18:50 Speaker_09
Yeah, honestly. What are your intentions? What are you doing here?

00:18:54 Speaker_06
Let's just say I got a very stern lecture from my mom about not talking to strangers that day and never played out front of that house unsupervised ever again. Flash to 2009. Now I'm in high school and I live across town from where I grew up.

00:19:06 Speaker_06
I see that on the news, a little girl kidnapped in 1991 was held captive but found on the outskirts of California. The outskirts of that town, I can't say. Yes, that's right, ladies. I grew up and lived around the fucking corner from JC Dugard.

00:19:22 Speaker_06
Shut the fuck up! While she was held captive for 18 years. Isn't that fucking bonkers?

00:19:33 Speaker_07
I didn't see that coming. No, I did not read these ahead of time. I did not see these coming.

00:19:39 Speaker_06
What? Yeah. Yup. The woman I met that day, uh, Nancy Garrido, I think it is the kids I met JC and her first born daughter, not her sister. I have, I'm without words. Without words. I'm without words. Can you imagine? No.

00:19:59 Speaker_06
And to know, one, to know that you, like, happened to have an experience where you, like, met her. And then two, to realize that Nancy was trying to kidnap your ass too.

00:20:08 Speaker_07
To add to the whole thing, and oh my god, and your mom is probably like, holy shit, that was just JC.

00:20:13 Speaker_06
Yeah and your mom's like, thank god I was paying attention. Yeah. Like mama ran out there and was like, get the fuck off my property.

00:20:20 Speaker_07
Holy shit.

00:20:21 Speaker_06
Yeah. I felt absolutely sick to my stomach, to my fucking stomach watching the news. This poor girl was trapped in hell my entire childhood, only a few thousand feet from where I played and slept and lived every single day.

00:20:38 Speaker_06
Wow My mom and I immediately looked up the address of where JC was found and saw that she was hidden only eight Houses away from us on the corner the grief.

00:20:48 Speaker_06
I felt that day was insurmountable Knowing I saw her and I met her and her kidnapper as a child and never even knew it I can only guess now what might have happened to me if I had gone with that woman that day.

00:20:59 Speaker_06
Oh, I'm so glad you didn't thank goodness

00:21:02 Speaker_06
Thanks for listening to my tale and maybe later I'll write in about some other tales I have, like when I was subpoenaed to testify in front of a court as a witness for when I stopped a home invasion and accidentally broke up a crime ring in my neighborhood.

00:21:14 Speaker_06
Keep it weird. Much love, Devin. Devon, come on. You gotta send us those tales. I got some stories, Devon.

00:21:22 Speaker_07
You're happy again. My goodness, I'm happy to hear it. Yeah. Holy shit, Devon. Crazy. That was crazy. I did not see that coming.

00:21:30 Speaker_06
No? That, like, shocked me. When I was reading it, I was like, wait, wait, what, what? Oh! Wow. I'm sorry, that just, like, ringed off, whatever. Damn. Damn.

00:21:39 Speaker_07
That's crazy, right? All right, that's nice. No! No!

00:21:45 Speaker_06
I can't believe you just did that to me. You can't steal my salad fingers. I gotta tuck them back in so they look more realistic. If you had a rusty spoon I'd steal that. I know, I actually feel so fucking remiss.

00:21:58 Speaker_06
I was gonna make a rusty spoon and then I just completely forgot. It's not something you can just whip up in a minute.

00:22:04 Speaker_07
You know what, the rusty spoon is the friends we made along the way. I like that. Put that on my tombstone and never explain it to anyone. No context whatsoever. All right, so the next ListenerTale is ListenerTale's Home Invasion.

00:22:22 Speaker_07
Hello, firstly to Ash's cats, secondly to you gorgeous, gorgeous gals. I'll tell them you said hi. My name is Molly. Okay, feel free to use all my names, all the names in the thing.

00:22:36 Speaker_07
You guys remind me of the lovely relationship between me and my sister and have even inspired us to begin percolating the idea of starting our own podcast. Do it! We both love spooky shit and have some truly hilarious banter. At least we think so.

00:22:49 Speaker_06
We think we do, too. That's the whole reason we started this.

00:22:52 Speaker_07
That means that you're right. Yeah, you're funny. I'm not good at expressing my feelings, according to my therapist. Neither is Elena. But I want you to know that I think you are both badass, hilarious, intelligent human beings. Thank you. So are you.

00:23:07 Speaker_07
I hope to one day be as spooky and cool of a mom as you, Alayna. That's really sweet. I hope that too. We share that, Molly. And get all the same scissor-wielding ghosts to fuck right off and leave my babies alone.

00:23:19 Speaker_07
I also hope to bring more of an ash-itude into my life and be unapologetically myself while being rock to the people around me. I love you so much, Molly.

00:23:28 Speaker_07
You said, I love how supportive you've been of Alina's book, which I cannot wait to read, and you and Drew are the absolute cutest. Thank you.

00:23:34 Speaker_06
Her book is pretty alright.

00:23:36 Speaker_07
Oh my god, and she's pretty alright.

00:23:38 Speaker_06
tinyurl.com slash thebutchernerd, except don't use that because it's not active anymore.

00:23:41 Speaker_07
Go to barnesandnoble.com Oh, bitch, you have a whole website. There you go. Anyway, attach our two double-spaced putt-a-fuzz for your reading pleasure. I won't bother apologizing for length, because I already know what you're going to say.

00:23:52 Speaker_07
If you read one or both of these on the pod, TM, I will never stop bragging about every, bleh, bleh, bleh. She's broken. I broke. I will never stop bragging to everyone I know.

00:24:03 Speaker_06
Much love, Molly. Today, we'll read the home invasion tale, and then guess what, Molly? You're going to be on back-to-back listener tales. It's true. You're coming back. We'll read New Orleans next month.

00:24:12 Speaker_07
Hell yeah.

00:24:14 Speaker_06
I've been doing admin.

00:24:15 Speaker_07
So this one's called Fuck Kevin and Not in the Fun Way. I like that. I like that a lot. 2020 was a shit year for a lot of reasons. One of those reasons is that it's the year that my apartment was broken into and robbed.

00:24:30 Speaker_07
Yes, Kevin is his real name, and I'm comfortable using it because he was indeed caught, arrested, and convicted. Kevin.

00:24:38 Speaker_07
By then, my then boyfriend, now husband, and I, congratulations, and I were out of town visiting my family and we left our precious cat children, Ari and, oh I like that, Ari and Binks, back at our apartment in Arlington, Vermont. Virginia. Virginia.

00:24:53 Speaker_07
Virginia, sorry I said Vermont.

00:25:04 Speaker_00
The holidays are all about sharing with family. Meals, couches, stories, grandma's secret pecan pie recipe. And now you can also share a cart with Instacart family carts. Everyone can add what they want to one group cart from wherever they are.

00:25:19 Speaker_00
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00:25:30 Speaker_00
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00:26:03 Speaker_07
Spoiler alert, no cats were harmed in the making of this listener tale. Thank you. We hired a cat sitter to come visit slash feed them once a day.

00:26:10 Speaker_07
We were supposed to come back home on a Friday, but made a fateful last minute decision to stay an extra day and come home on Saturday instead.

00:26:17 Speaker_07
At the time, I regretted this decision, but now I'm grateful for what we did, as it was the last time I saw my mom before she passed away unexpectedly from an undiagnosed heart condition. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Molly. That sucks.

00:26:30 Speaker_07
We returned home on Saturday night, and my boyfriend commented that he thought the door was already unlocked when he stuck the key in. That's the scariest thing ever. I'd say, well, you go check the apartment. I have to go somewhere. It's been real. Bye.

00:26:42 Speaker_07
We brush this off because the lock was kind of janky, and he was probably mistaken. We drop our suitcases, and I give my kitties some reunion snuggles.

00:26:50 Speaker_07
My boyfriend comes rushing out of the bedroom and asks me if I'd moved a small box out of his desk drawer. I had not. And this is where the red flags started going up.

00:26:59 Speaker_07
We searched the apartment some more and noticed that a passport, checkbook, and other items were missing as well. That's really scary. To think that somebody has your passport, like that's horrifying.

00:27:09 Speaker_06
That'd be terrifying.

00:27:10 Speaker_07
The small box that my boyfriend was panicking over contained the diamond for my future engagement ring. I know. Oh, he had not given it to me yet, and this is how I learned that he was going to propose. Imagine learning like that. That's so sad. I know.

00:27:24 Speaker_07
I plugged our cheap security camera into my laptop and started reviewing the footage. Video only, there was no audio. My heart dropped when I got to the footage from Friday night slash Saturday morning around 2 a.m.

00:27:35 Speaker_07
I can see Ari and Binx excitedly trotting up to the door as it began to open, thinking that mom and dad were finally home. No!

00:27:43 Speaker_07
I see their ears go back and their tails drop as they realize it's not us and they turn around and sprint to find a hiding place. I see two unfamiliar dickhead men, sorry I added that, just men, come through the door.

00:27:56 Speaker_07
Unfortunately I can't see their faces because the camera was pointed to the floor. It was positioned that way because we bought it to keep an eye on the cats, never expecting that it would capture a robbery.

00:28:05 Speaker_07
I break out into tears and call my mom while my boyfriend calls the police.

00:28:10 Speaker_07
Two young women police officers show up shortly after and I'm grateful to them to this day for how comforting and kind they were as they took our statements and dusted for fingerprints.

00:28:19 Speaker_07
Side note, they used a black powder to dust for fingerprints and Binx was very interested in what they were doing. He stepped in a pile of powder and left little black footprints all over the place. It was adorable.

00:28:30 Speaker_07
To this day, he is known as Detective Binks. DT Binks. On the case. On the case. Over the next few days, we barely slept. Honestly, I don't know how you would. That must be like the most like violating feeling.

00:28:46 Speaker_06
Absolutely. To think somebody, two unknown men were in your house. Yeah. And have all your information. Yes.

00:28:52 Speaker_07
Like I, I feel that's awful. Yeah. We barely slept, pushed furniture against the door at night, and patiently waited for the few and far between updates from police.

00:29:02 Speaker_07
My boyfriend coped in his way, denial, dealing with the logistics of insurance, et cetera. I coped in my own way, going full detective mode. The sight of the fear hitting my poor babies as they ran for cover was burned into my mind.

00:29:15 Speaker_07
Honestly, that would fuck me up too. Yeah. If someone upset my animals, I'd be so pissed. You could fight me with these salad fingers.

00:29:24 Speaker_09
Fight me.

00:29:25 Speaker_07
you can mess with me you can steal our ship but you cannot fuck with my cats exactly i reviewed the footage over and over looking at every tiny detail i noticed that the intruders picked up the note of instructions i left with the cat sitter reading it to each other and laughing fuck you it's also like why is that funny why why would that be funny and like on

00:29:44 Speaker_07
Hmm. Like what? Like what a dick. I reported this to the police and they came and collected the paper for evidence. I also noticed that my boyfriend had been right about the door being unlocked.

00:29:55 Speaker_07
I can clearly see the cat sitter leaving on Friday, shutting the door, and not locking the deadbolt. Fired! She was suspected to be involved at first, but eventually determined to be simply incompetent and cleared by police.

00:30:07 Speaker_07
Sometimes that's even worse. Yeah, that really is. Innocent but incompetent? Oof. Oof. I obsessed over and messed with the footage enough to discover that there was, in fact, audio. Huzzah!

00:30:18 Speaker_06
Bitch.

00:30:18 Speaker_07
You are everything.

00:30:19 Speaker_00
You're a detective, Detective Banks and you.

00:30:22 Speaker_07
Hell yeah. It was staticky and hard to hear. And I listened over and over again with headphones to try to make out any clues. Finally, I saw one of the men walk over to the camera and can make out the following. Hey, Kevin, there's a camera here. Idiots.

00:30:36 Speaker_07
Not only did they drop names directly in front of the camera, but they also left it there instead of taking it. It's like, why would you do that? I mean, I'm glad they did, but like, why would you do that? You gotta be a special kind of dumb.

00:30:47 Speaker_06
You sure do.

00:30:47 Speaker_07
The footage was on a micro SD card, so if they'd taken the camera, we would have had nothing to go off of. They unplugged the camera at that time, so we're not sure how long they were there or what else they did. Chilling. Very chilling.

00:30:58 Speaker_07
My hope is that they realized they fucked up and noped out of there immediately. I forwarded the audio to the detective assigned to our case, and this is what finally allowed them to catch him.

00:31:08 Speaker_07
Turns out the cops had been following Kevin for several months, connected to multiple other robberies of homes, schools, businesses, etc. They knew he was guilty, but until now they didn't have the hard evidence to convict him. Hell yeah.

00:31:20 Speaker_07
A warrant was put out and Kevin was arrested for multiple felony robberies soon after. They searched his phone and found a conversation between him and some other shady character trying to pawn my diamonds. Can you imagine? It was never found.

00:31:33 Speaker_07
We expect that he ditched it along with the other stolen items once he realized the police were on to him. Fuck that guy. Fortunately, my boyfriend is a genius and bought insurance for the diamonds, so we got a replacement for free.

00:31:46 Speaker_07
Seriously, we were right. Yeah, we were both called to testify in court and despite being totally hyped about getting on the stand They did not question me only my boyfriend stupid total bummer.

00:31:56 Speaker_07
He doesn't even like true crime There was also no citywide parade or official commendations for me to single-handedly solving the case, which I feel I deserved you did I also feel you should we have one retroactively? I think we should let's do it and

00:32:08 Speaker_07
Anyway, Kevin is in jail now, and though my sense of security in my home is forever damaged, we're doing okay. We moved into a new house back in my Pennsylvania hometown to be closer to my family after my mom passed.

00:32:20 Speaker_07
I spent far too much money on a home security system. Love you, Simply Safe. Simply safe. But it's worth it for the peace of mind. We are now married and the cats are currently looking at birbs outside the window and enjoying the cool fall weather.

00:32:34 Speaker_07
Whether you read this or not, it was a cathartic to write it all down. I'm glad. Thank you for giving me and many others a safe space to share our stories. Molly. Molly, we love you. You always have a safe space here, my friends.

00:32:45 Speaker_07
Oh, you're safe forever here, all of you. I'm so sorry that your sense of like security and safety in your own home was rocked. from that, because I understand why it was. The same thing would have happened to me.

00:32:56 Speaker_06
Yeah, that would have freaked me the fuck out.

00:32:58 Speaker_07
Damn, Molly.

00:32:59 Speaker_06
I know, you went through it, girl. Shit. But I'm so glad that your man's got insurance on the ring. Yes. Genius.

00:33:04 Speaker_07
That was smart.

00:33:05 Speaker_06
He's a smart guy. Smart guy. He's a smart guy. Remember that? Smart guy. We're in the right era. I love it. We're staying in the right era. In the right era. Oh, my nose is itchy. Era, era. That was funny. Sorry, my nose got itchy at a really inopportune time.

00:33:23 Speaker_06
There you go. There you go. All right, my next one is from Eli. Eli! Hello, you wonderful ladies. My name is Eli. You can use my name. I've been listening since day one and have introduced all my, or excuse me, many family and friends to you lovelies.

00:33:38 Speaker_06
So not all of them. Not all of them? Not all of them? Alright, just kidding. We'll forgive you. It's okay. I'm so proud of all you two have accomplished in these last years. Thank you.

00:33:47 Speaker_06
You girls brought me so many laughs, so many tears, and even tears from laughing. I look forward to hearing new episodes every week. You are my podcast drug of choice. I love you, Hila. I know, we love you. I am also a Massachusetts gal.

00:34:00 Speaker_06
More details to come. I'm not the greatest at writing so please bear with me. You're actually really good at writing and really funny. I was crying when I read this of laughter.

00:34:12 Speaker_06
Without any more gushing here's my tale of the time a demonic man parkoured his way into my apartment. I'm obsessed with this. Back in my early 20s, I left home because I wanted a change. I met a guy when I went on a trip to Canada and we hit it off.

00:34:26 Speaker_06
I decided not to go back home, much to the shock of my family, job, and friends. Fuck, you only live once, right?

00:34:32 Speaker_07
YOLO.

00:34:32 Speaker_06
Here I am in Montreal on my own for the first time ever. We got a place in a big apartment condo. You know the type. Multiple floors, multiple apartments on each floor.

00:34:41 Speaker_06
Your typical Seinfeld situation, where you have to be buzzed into the building and all that jazz. My apartment was on the first level, but there was an entire garden level below. Those are air quotes. I liked that air quotes with the salad finger.

00:34:55 Speaker_06
You're welcome. Every apartment on the first level all the way up to the top level, which was I think eight, had these mini balconies off the living room.

00:35:05 Speaker_06
On this day, after staying up way too late playing video games, I decided to call it a night around 1 a.m. Ah, the before-children days. I head to my bedroom and get ready for bed.

00:35:14 Speaker_06
Not more than a few seconds after I lay down, I hear this loud yelling coming from the alleyway between my building and the ones next to mine. Picture this alleyway like a sideways T-shape.

00:35:24 Speaker_06
Looking out my window, there were two buildings and an alley between them, leading directly to my unit. The yelling was so disturbing. It was no spoken language I had ever heard of. It was seriously demonic.

00:35:36 Speaker_06
The voice was deep, raspy, but had this sharp edge to it, the type that would make you want to cover your ears. The words made absolutely no sense at all.

00:35:45 Speaker_06
Now me, being the nosy-ass bitch I am, I immediately jump out of bed and go peep out the curtains to see what the actual fuck is going on. Hell yeah, I would have done the same thing. If I hear a commotion, out the curtains I peek.

00:35:57 Speaker_07
Oh yeah, I'm gonna go vacuum the grass. Like, I gotta know what's going on. I love those TikTok videos when people start doing that. Sweeping the grass. I love it.

00:36:16 Speaker_02
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00:36:39 Speaker_02
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00:36:51 Speaker_06
Well, there's a man running down the alley toward my building. Uh-oh. He's waving his arms all over, but that is as much as I could make out. It was extremely dark, and there's minimal lighting in that area.

00:37:02 Speaker_06
As he's making his way toward the building, a car turns in the alley behind him. It had sirens, so clearly it was the police chasing said man. The entire time, he's shrieking this ungodly noise, heading straight toward what seemed like me. Oh. Mm-hmm.

00:37:17 Speaker_06
Now at ground level there's a small retaining wall, it's literally like three feet tall, and he jumps on it and leaps up to grab the bottom of my balcony.

00:37:27 Speaker_06
no yes no yes did you shit your pants i would have because i would shit my pants eli says which by the way is a solid 15 to 20 feet up and i don't know if he was truly possessed or not but i shit you not he hoisted himself up like he was an olympic pole jumper without a pole what the fuck he just had like a 20 foot vertical like what's going on some street parkour american ninja warrior shit get that man a contract somewhere like what the hell

00:37:54 Speaker_06
I ran right to my night table where I happen to have stashed an eight inch blade in the drawer, just casual things. That's Eli right there. And pull it out. Yeah, just pull it out. Just pull it right out.

00:38:04 Speaker_06
I know I said I would mention this but I'm from this wonderful little gem of a city called Brockton. Have you guys ever seen The Menu? Go watch The Menu.

00:38:13 Speaker_07
Go watch The Menu.

00:38:14 Speaker_06
Now, I know you two gorgeous ladies most likely know about this special little shithole, but the rest of the world probably doesn't. Feel free to insert whatever uuuuuhhhs now.

00:38:28 Speaker_06
I basically grew up in an area where you sleep with one eye open in nicer terms. Yeah. It's called the city of champions, but that's far from what it is.

00:38:35 Speaker_07
Champion!

00:38:37 Speaker_06
To any other Brocktonians, don't come for me. You know it's true. So knife-wielding me runs into... If you know Ickyick. Ickyick. If you know Brockton, you know. You know. Ickyabick.

00:38:51 Speaker_06
So knife-wielding me runs into my living room as my balcony screen door opens and the inner door is being rammed on by this demon asshole. Yes, this fucker is still chanting. Damn.

00:39:01 Speaker_06
I know you're probably thinking, hi, don't run toward danger, but I don't know. I just had this urge to stand my ground. I'm not gonna be caught. Sometimes you get that urge, you know? Yeah, it just happens.

00:39:10 Speaker_07
Sometimes you're just like, I feel like standing my ground today. Yeah, I'm just gonna stand my ground right now. Sometimes it happens.

00:39:15 Speaker_06
Eli says, I'm not gonna be caught unprepared. That's right. The locks give out and the door crashes inward. No. The demon rushes in. He stops to look around and survey the situation. We lock eyes. Imagine if you were just like this.

00:39:33 Speaker_07
Like, what if we just broke in and you were just like, hey, do you like rusty spoons? Honestly, best home security system ever. Right here. Always be salad fingers at every moment.

00:39:49 Speaker_07
Because if somebody breaks in and you just rise out of bed and just say, I like rusty spoons. What are you doing here? They're going to get the fuck out of there. Like, they're going to get the fuck. If you sit up and say, it's almost

00:40:02 Speaker_07
orgasmic feeling of rust against my salad fingers. Yep, yeah, they'll leave. Yeah, it's true. Well, a little tip from us to you.

00:40:13 Speaker_06
Safety tips. Well, la la la la la, I said to him while holding the knife, don't fucking try me. Oh, that's Eli right there. That's Eli. That's my Eli right there. City of champions, Eli. Eli's the whole city. Yep, Eli knows.

00:40:28 Speaker_06
His screaming had come to a halt and it was so fucking weirdly quiet.

00:40:32 Speaker_06
He looked at the front door, looked at me, the front door, me, and finally vaults over my coffee table to the front door, fumbles with the lock, gets it open, and runs into the building hallway.

00:40:43 Speaker_07
He said, fuck that.

00:40:45 Speaker_06
He said, fuck that. But then resumes his demonic murder screaming again.

00:40:48 Speaker_07
Yeah, he took a little pause. Yeah. Surveyed the situation and was like, I'll continue out here.

00:40:55 Speaker_06
They were words, but not. It's seriously hard to explain, but terrifying. Oh, I wish you had audio. Why didn't you get audio? Come on, Eli. Audio or it didn't happen.

00:41:05 Speaker_06
This entire thing was only like six seconds tops, but in the moment it felt like forever. Now this would be the perfect time for me to shut my door, lock it, and crumble into a sob, but nah, girl. I ran out into the hallway after him.

00:41:17 Speaker_06
Like, who's paying for my broken door? Ladies, ladies, I don't know why I felt like Xena warrior princess, some Amazonian badass bitch, when the reality was a 21 year old Puerto Rican, 5'3", thicc-a-cuh-cuh-cuh-cuh-cuh, and out of shape.

00:41:34 Speaker_06
I'm obsessed with you, Eli. I love you, Eli. Eli for life. You just wait. The end of this tale, I was crying. I'm already obsessed. I was crying at this point, but then I started sobbing at the next part.

00:41:44 Speaker_06
The demon runs straight into the officers that yoke him up. One officer runs to me. He looks me up and down and at my knife, which I immediately place on the ground and held my hands up like I was the criminal or something.

00:41:56 Speaker_06
He ushers me into my apartment to make sure I'm okay and to get me out of the hallway as some neighbors had begun opening their doors to see what was happening. Hey, did I mention I was only wearing red panties?

00:42:08 Speaker_06
So my fucking coconut fig tip titties were just clapping in the wind. Can I say that? I just love, can I say that? Bitch, you can say that, you can sing that, you can speak that in a poem, you can, that's. Eli. So Eli had their own. Eli.

00:42:27 Speaker_06
Eli had their own security system in place.

00:42:33 Speaker_07
Eli, I'm obsessed with you.

00:42:34 Speaker_06
Your yabos saved you. Your yabos. I'm so.

00:42:37 Speaker_07
We love your yabos. In fact, we love them.

00:42:39 Speaker_06
I mean, listen. It was bedtime. Oh my god. Whoops. Did I mention I was only wearing white red titties?

00:42:47 Speaker_07
Oh, by the way, did I mention my coconut titties were flapping?

00:42:50 Speaker_07
The fact that this demon motherfucker came walking and like busting through your house like the Kool-Aid man and you're standing there in red underwear holding an 8-inch knife and you just said like, don't even fucking try me. Don't fuck with me.

00:43:04 Speaker_07
Queen. He said, Queen.

00:43:06 Speaker_06
He said, I will not get her a goddamn crown.

00:43:09 Speaker_07
You are a warrior princess.

00:43:11 Speaker_06
Oh, you are. In asterisks, after covering my goodies with a throw blanket, the officer takes a small statement from me, helps get the door back in place, offers to bring me to a friend's, all that stuff, but I told him I was fine, I'd be okay.

00:43:23 Speaker_06
Yeah, we're good. So he left. I paced my living room for a few more minutes, trying to get my heart rate to slow the fuck down, and finally go into my room and get into bed. Here's the best part of this entire fucking crazy story.

00:43:34 Speaker_06
We haven't reached the best part? No. My mans rolls over and puts his arm around me and says, what language was that? I am laughing so hard typing this part.

00:43:46 Speaker_06
Yes, ladies, this motherfucking country boy that grew up in the middle of nowhere kept his grown-ass man self in bed. In bed while I'm fucking knife-wielding samurai and keeping us safe. My response to him? No idea, but I think it was satanic.

00:44:04 Speaker_06
While he blissfully went back to snoring. fucking wall. Like what? Halawi just broke our front door down. Damn. Damn Eli. I knew from that day on if we ever had a family and shit went down I'd have to be the one to protect us. Yeah, Eli for life.

00:44:30 Speaker_06
But that's all for my story of my thick ass naked hispanic lady face off verse parkour demon parkour demonic banshee man. I didn't die so that's a bonus.

00:44:39 Speaker_07
That's a huge bonus in my eyes.

00:44:41 Speaker_06
Thank you so much for reading. I grew up in the Bridgewater Triangle and currently live back here raising my little family. I got lots of spooky and scary stories I could share, including my dad almost being murdered in front of me.

00:44:52 Speaker_06
The amount of blood will forever be a memory I can't forget. Oh, Brockton. Or, that wasn't me, that was Eli.

00:44:58 Speaker_06
Or when my mom's cousin came over and asked what dress she should wear if she died, when in fact, she actually had died the day before and was wearing said dress my mom picked out at the funeral days later.

00:45:09 Speaker_06
Or the time my friends and I got attacked in the woods by a group of men and had to ask for help from a nudist colony. Yeah, I have some tales. Send us all of them. Eli. One putafah. I'm not kidding you. Tale one, tale two, tale three, tale four.

00:45:24 Speaker_06
Give me them all.

00:45:25 Speaker_07
All the tales. Every tale. It's the holiday season. Yeah, give us. So we can take it. I want a full putafah. I want a whole, I want a bag full like this of those tales. An Eli episode. An Eli episode. We'll do a whole episode on Eli. Yeah.

00:45:41 Speaker_06
Send us all those tales.

00:45:43 Speaker_07
Threaten me with a good time.

00:45:44 Speaker_06
Let's go. Well, keep it weird, ladies. I hope to attend a live show in the future. Peace out and love always, Eli. Eli? Eli. For fucking life. For life. Eli for life.

00:45:58 Speaker_07
Damn, Eli. That was amazing.

00:46:01 Speaker_06
So those were our home invasion. that's my computer that's my whole computer what is my computer what you don't know she doesn't have a burglar alarm if you installed one this wouldn't happen what I'm just a

00:46:23 Speaker_07
You're ridiculous. Sims 1 players will know.

00:46:26 Speaker_06
Oh, you guys. Only Sims 1 players in these streets will know that. I love doing video listener tales so much. Just the fact that, what day is today? Is it a Wednesday? Yeah, it's just a Wednesday. It's just a fucking Wednesday.

00:46:40 Speaker_06
I sent this to my family group chat and they were like, this is amazing. Like, what? And I was like, yeah, sometimes it's hard to explain what my job is.

00:46:48 Speaker_07
Yeah, I came out of the room for a second and John was like, oh, just

00:46:52 Speaker_06
just working going to work i love it i was like what and that's because of you guys and we're hella thankful for you yes we love you we want to smooch your faces we do i want to steal your faces we neglect it don't steal their face that's fucking that's what i do i want to steal your face you're like the queen from fucking uh

00:47:12 Speaker_06
What's that movie that you won't let your kids watch? And they want to watch it so bad. Oh, Return to Oz. Yeah. Queen Mosby. Princess Momby. I was so close. I was more on like a Suite Life. Queen Ted Mosby. No, I wasn't there either.

00:47:26 Speaker_06
I was on a Suite Life of Zack and Cody, Mr. Mosby thing. Oh, there you go. That's where I was. Princess Momby. Momby. Yeah. Freaky. I just think it's weird that you're gonna steal their faces. Um, but we neglected to mention that this is Thanksgiving today.

00:47:41 Speaker_07
Oh, it is Thanksgiving while you're watching this. So, you know, we're thankful for you and happy Thanksgiving.

00:47:46 Speaker_06
Happy Thanksgiving.

00:47:47 Speaker_07
And turkey and sweet potatoes and whatever else.

00:47:50 Speaker_06
Oh, I'm so excited for your Thanksgiving. Alayna's definitely gonna have to post some recipes because that bitch. I will. I'll post recipes. And I'm, oh, I have something that I'm gonna do. I just burped. Please cut that out. I have something.

00:48:05 Speaker_07
You should not. Please. It was such a dainty one. Cut it out. It was so dainty.

00:48:11 Speaker_06
We can leave it in. I have something. Fuck it. I'm real. I have something that I'm going to do on Thanksgiving and I'll show you. I like that. On Thanksgiving I'll show you. I like that a lot.

00:48:22 Speaker_06
I'm going to dress like this at Thanksgiving just to be provocative.

00:48:25 Speaker_07
Provocative, I like it.

00:48:27 Speaker_06
Right? Yeah. It provokes emotion. Yeah. Doesn't it? Absolutely. It's very provocative. I think it does. You can't see me. I'm salad fingers. Well, we love you. And we love doing this. We hope you keep listening. And we hope you keep it weird.

00:48:48 Speaker_06
But not so weird that you don't have salad for fingers.

00:48:53 Speaker_08
I love salad and I love having salad fingers!

00:50:01 Speaker_06
If you like Morbid, you can listen early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

00:50:10 Speaker_06
Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.

00:50:16 Speaker_04
Hello, ladies and gerbs, boys and girls. The Grinch is back again to ruin your Christmas season with Tiz the Grinch Holiday Podcast.

00:50:24 Speaker_04
After last year, he's learned a thing or two about hosting, and he's ready to rant against Christmas cheer and roast his celebrity guests like chestnuts on an open fire.

00:50:34 Speaker_04
You can listen with the whole family as guest stars like Jon Hamm, Brittany Broski, and Danny DeVito try to persuade the mean old Grinch that there's a lot to love about the insufferable holiday season. But that's not all.

00:50:45 Speaker_04
Somebody stole all the children of Whoville's letters to Santa, and everybody thinks the Grinch is responsible. It's a real Whoville whodunit. Can Cindy Lou and Max help clear the Grinch's name? Grab your hot cocoa and cozy slippers to find out.

00:50:59 Speaker_04
Follow Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Unlock weekly Christmas mystery bonus content and listen to every episode ad-free by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts.