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Episode: Creating more balance

Author: Michelle Chestovich MD
Duration: 00:10:01

Episode Shownotes

Physician coach Michelle Chestovich MD shares simple tips to create more balance in your life.

Full Transcript

00:00:00 Speaker_00
You are listening to Episode 191 of the Remind Yourself Podcast. Welcome to the Remind Yourself Podcast, the podcast for physician moms just like you who want to ditch mom guilt, stop yelling, and start enjoying their lives today.

00:00:21 Speaker_00
I'm your host, Michelle Chestovich, certified life coach, family physician, and mom of four. If you want to overcome overwhelm for once and for all, this is the place for you. Hello, Mama Docs, and welcome back.

00:00:38 Speaker_00
I hope you are enjoying a most glorious autumn wherever you are. It is golden and orange everywhere I look recently, and it just makes my soul happy to get out and walk in nature. And I hope that you are finding time to do this for you as well.

00:00:55 Speaker_00
Okay, today I'm going to talk about something that is an elusive goal that many of us women physicians have, and it is work-life balance.

00:01:05 Speaker_00
And I talk about how I love helping people find more of this balance, but I also want to be very honest and say there is not some perfect equilibrium. that we find somewhere out there, right?

00:01:18 Speaker_00
Number one, it is something that we create and also the balance seems to tip at times. So usually what I like to say anymore is that let's try to find some harmony between work and home life because I think that's really what we're going for.

00:01:34 Speaker_00
It's not that it's equal amount of times at work and equal amount of time at home or a feeling of perfect Like again, that would be great, but really it's just finding this harmony.

00:01:45 Speaker_00
So today we're going to talk about a few ways that we can achieve more of this harmony between our work and our home. And take a look at your own life.

00:01:53 Speaker_00
If things are feeling a little bit out of control and like it's work is overwhelming and taking all of the time. Be mindful of that. Notice it. If you are feeling a lot of anger and frustration, that is something to notice.

00:02:08 Speaker_00
Again, we aren't going to just like wave a magic wand and fix it right away, but it's a sign that you're wanting something different. And that's okay.

00:02:16 Speaker_00
just because you decided, hey, I'd like to be a physician and we get in this medical culture where it's go, go, go. If things are feeling a little bit out of whack, that's really good to be mindful of. And then we can start to make some choices.

00:02:28 Speaker_00
So the number one thing that we need to do is learn to set some boundaries, because many people that I speak with don't even have an idea in their mind when their workday ends.

00:02:40 Speaker_00
It's no wonder that work seems to occupy all of our time when we are thinking about it all the time. And in fact, we're logging in and spending hours and hours at night catching up.

00:02:51 Speaker_00
So I know I've had these conversations with people when I say, you need to have a boundary and say, I'm not going to work after seven o'clock at night anymore. People say, well, but I've got so much to do. I have to get it done then.

00:03:04 Speaker_00
But you can make a choice that unless I'm on call, I'm not going to work after seven o'clock. And then we need to figure out how to right-size the day. And that's the work I do with my one-on-one clients as well as in my group program.

00:03:16 Speaker_00
We kind of look and say, okay, where are the struggles? We start to become more efficient and that sort of thing. But it all starts with setting a boundary, an idea of when is my day over. Now, if you're a mom, the day is never over, right? I get that.

00:03:31 Speaker_00
And yet we can make some rules about when we're going to log back in. Another good idea is to have a space where you do that work. I used to do computer work at home kind of all over, and so my home never felt like it was its own sacred space.

00:03:45 Speaker_00
I mean, yes, it was. It was different from work. But when I was at the computer all over, I never had a place where my mind was, this is work and this is not. So those two things I really want you to think about. When does my workday end?

00:03:59 Speaker_00
And maybe if you are able to get your notes done at home, that's fantastic. Some people are still checking emails and labs and things like that, whether it's on their computer or on their phone. We need to set some boundaries.

00:04:11 Speaker_00
That's where the work always begins. And this isn't easy.

00:04:14 Speaker_00
But nobody but you is going to make these rules because the organization is going to love it if you're on doing work all the time, except for when you're completely burnt out and you say, you know what, I need to leave.

00:04:25 Speaker_00
They're not going to love that. But it behooves you to be the CEO and the leader in your own life and say, this is where I'm going to draw the line and then I'm going to figure out ways to get the work done.

00:04:36 Speaker_00
And again, that is a lot of the work that I do with people. But you need to set your own boundaries. That's the first step. The second step is that you really need to be deliberate with your mind, right?

00:04:48 Speaker_00
I talk a lot about mindset work in the coaching I do. I also talk about, you know, relieving stress. And though with mindset, you need to redirect your brain. Hey, I'm at work now, so I'm going to think about work.

00:05:00 Speaker_00
course, thoughts of our family will come in, and we can redirect it back to work. More importantly, when we're at home with our family, you're going to have thoughts about the day.

00:05:11 Speaker_00
It's important that you remind your brain, hey, I'm going to tackle that again tomorrow, and now I'm going to be with my people. What can really help aid this is to have some sort of transition.

00:05:23 Speaker_00
And as I'm saying this, I'm going to have a dedicated podcast to this to help you create your own transition from work to home. It makes a huge difference. So look forward to that coming in the upcoming weeks.

00:05:34 Speaker_00
But it's helpful to let your brain know, OK, the workday is done and now I'm coming home and I'm going to be deliberate and my brain is going to remind me again and again that there's unfinished notes, that there's labs, all those things.

00:05:46 Speaker_00
And I'm just going to keep reminding my brain Yep, and I will tackle that tomorrow when I'm back at work because now is the evening and that is when I'm home with my family for dinner, bath time, bedtime, that sort of thing. Okay?

00:05:57 Speaker_00
It does take some deliberateness on your part and you can do it. And finally, the third thing that I want to tell you is that Think about what brings you joy in your work.

00:06:09 Speaker_00
I recently heard about an article, a study that was done years ago, that showed that if physicians do at least 20% of meaningful work, things that they most enjoy, 20%, so if you're working full time, that's like a day a week, that if you're finding more joy in doing at least 20% of this meaningful work, you're gonna have half the amount of burnout as people who are not doing meaningful work.

00:06:33 Speaker_00
Now, we get it, there's crap in our jobs that we have to do, prior authorizations, finishing notes, all those sorts of things, but what brings you the most joy? Could you turn the dial up a little bit?

00:06:44 Speaker_00
If you have particular patients that you like to see that fill you with joy and give you a nice intellectual stimulation, how could you get a little bit more of that in your day?

00:06:55 Speaker_00
So that is important to find more joy and meaning in the work that you do. And I thought it was amazing that it was only 20% that really helps guard against feeling all the other drudgery. So turn the dial up a little bit there.

00:07:10 Speaker_00
And then the other thing is for that harmony. What are you doing for yourself in your non-work time that brings you joy? And I would say that you consider fun.

00:07:21 Speaker_00
When I ask this question to most people, they look at me like deer in the headlights and have no idea. I don't know what I do for fun. I don't have any hobbies anymore. I sleep and I take care of my family and I work.

00:07:35 Speaker_00
That's how many of us women physicians are going through life. And yet, I will tell you that to bring more harmony to your life, to add a little sprinkle of joy for you throughout your weeks, makes such a difference.

00:07:48 Speaker_00
Whether it's moving your body with friends or going to that art class you've always wanted to do.

00:07:55 Speaker_00
Consider that to really be something that adds more fulfillment to your life, and it makes it just feel like you're also having fun and joy outside of work, right?

00:08:07 Speaker_00
Most of us do find most of our joy there, but I'm trying to help you find more joy in your work by doing a little bit more of what you enjoy, but I also want you to find more joy just for you and for joy's sake.

00:08:19 Speaker_00
Because again, a lot of us go home and it's the second shift. And while we love our family and we love our kids, certainly, it's a lot of work. We're still just giving, giving, giving and taking care of others.

00:08:29 Speaker_00
I want you to find some time for you and then do this experiment over the next month or two. And then reflect, how am I feeling now about my work-life harmony? I'm enjoying my job a little bit more. I've right-sized the work.

00:08:45 Speaker_00
I know when the end of my day is. And I'm also finding time for me to do things that I enjoy outside of work. And it can feel a little bit more harmonious. Now I get it, like it's a teeter-totter, right? Things tip around.

00:08:59 Speaker_00
Sometimes work takes a little bit more time. Sometimes things at home, if kids are sick or there are additional struggles in your family, can take a little bit more of your time.

00:09:09 Speaker_00
So again, it's never going to be this complete balance, but how can we feel more aligned with our life and not feel like it's just crazy and overwhelming all the time.

00:09:19 Speaker_00
So those are the things that I suggest for you today to find more harmony in your life. And interestingly, I think if you sprinkle a little more joy at work and at home, it's just going to make it all feel so much better.

00:09:33 Speaker_00
All right, my friends, until next week, peace and love to all of you. Are you ready to take control of your life and put these tools into action? I'm here to help.

00:09:43 Speaker_00
I offer free consultations for physician moms to see if my one-on-one coaching package is right for you. You can sign up for a free consult at www.momadoclifecoach.com.