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Episode: Create more JOY!

Author: Michelle Chestovich MD
Duration: 00:14:58

Episode Shownotes

Physician coach Michelle Chestovich talks about creating more joy in your life.

Quit waiting until later in life and create more joy today!Want to get exclusive content on stress reduction/time managment and work life balance? Click to join Re-Minders email series:https://mamadoclifecoaching.myflodesk.com/reminders

Full Transcript

00:00:00 Speaker_00
You are listening to episode 175 of the Remind Yourself podcast. Welcome to the Remind Yourself podcast, the podcast for physician moms just like you. Want to ditch mom guilt? Stop yelling and start enjoying their lives today.

00:00:21 Speaker_00
I'm your host, Michelle Chestovich, certified life coach, family physician, and mom of four. If you want to overcome overwhelm for once and for all, this is the place for you. Hello, Mama Docs, and welcome back. I'm so grateful that you're here today.

00:00:41 Speaker_00
I am so excited to share a topic with you that is just going to fill your heart and make the rest of the summer absolutely amazing. I just got back from a most wonderful weekend with my amazing dad. Hi, Dad. and my mom and my sisters.

00:00:58 Speaker_00
And it was absolutely incredible. My dad invited us to a wonderful place in Canada that he has been fishing for the last several years. And he decided he wanted to bring the women in his life to enjoy something that brings him great joy.

00:01:14 Speaker_00
And I'll tell you what, it was an absolutely phenomenal weekend. My heart is so full. My stomach hurts because I was laughing so tremendously. Hey mom, remember Brick Rodriguez?

00:01:28 Speaker_00
At any rate, I just wanted to share with you that this getaway for the five of us for four days was absolutely incredible. And I think all of us walked away remembering that being together with loved ones is so important.

00:01:44 Speaker_00
Laughter is so important and finding joy in whatever brings you joy. And taking time to savor that is so incredible. I wanted to share with you today how you can create more joy in your own life.

00:02:00 Speaker_00
I work with so many physician women who come to me saying they're absolutely exhausted. They don't know how much longer they can keep going. And oh, by the way, when they try to find time for themselves, they feel absolutely guilty.

00:02:12 Speaker_00
I ask women, what do you enjoy doing? First of all many people just get a deer in the headlights look and say i don't even know i don't have time for me to do anything that i enjoy and so.

00:02:26 Speaker_00
Today I'm going to talk to you about you're not alone in this situation, that you're not alone in feeling that you can't find time, that you have 500 balls in the air and that you feel like they're dropping everywhere.

00:02:37 Speaker_00
So how on earth are you going to find time for a weekend away and or find time for regular bike rides with your friends? Whatever it is that brings you joy. I'm going to help you with that. I've also been there. I've got four kids.

00:02:53 Speaker_00
I was going to say four little kids. Now, actually, I have three teenage daughters and a 21-year-old son, so I do not have four little kids anymore, but I know what it's like.

00:03:03 Speaker_00
And oh, by the way, when they're teens, they're also very busy, and yet they need you less intensely as when they were little.

00:03:10 Speaker_00
So if you've got little kids, if you have teenagers, if you've grown children or no children at all, and you're just thinking, oh my goodness, how on earth am I supposed to find time for me?

00:03:20 Speaker_00
How am I supposed to create this joy that you're talking about? Hold tight. I've got you. Number one, I want you to take some time this week, maybe go for a walk and think to yourself, what brings you joy?

00:03:36 Speaker_00
If it's really hard to answer that question, again, nothing's gone wrong.

00:03:40 Speaker_00
It's just you've not taken time to think about it in quite some time because your brain is so busy thinking about all the patients on your schedule, who you need to round on, who's on your operating schedule, how you're going to deal with the shortages at work, so on and so forth, and all of the things that you do at home.

00:03:57 Speaker_00
Do we have clean clothes to wear? Do we have groceries this week? All of those things are on your mind. And so not often do we take time to think about what do I like? What's really fun for me? And so again, take some time. I love walking.

00:04:14 Speaker_00
It just helps my mind kind of clear. I start just looking around me and thinking about the things that I'm seeing instead of just the running to-do list. Now it takes a little bit. Sometimes it's the running to-do list.

00:04:26 Speaker_00
But just take some time and a really fun question to ask if you're still not really sure, what made your childhood so much fun? What did you love to do when you were a kid? That sometimes help us tap into what brought us joy when we were little.

00:04:44 Speaker_00
And then ask yourself, are you still doing that? And if not, what perhaps might you enjoy doing that's maybe similar, and or what's something that you always thought would be so fun to do, and now you're like, wow, I really wanna do it.

00:05:00 Speaker_00
So for instance, for me, when I was a little girl, I loved flipping my body and doing cartwheels all over the place. It brought me so much joy doing roundoffs and back handsprings, all of those things. You know what? Today, that would really hurt me.

00:05:12 Speaker_00
So that, while I love watching my children when they were little doing that and watching my niece flip over and over and over again, It doesn't bring me joy to do it in my body. Now I'm getting excited. Gymnastics is coming up in the Olympics.

00:05:25 Speaker_00
I will enjoy that. That brings me joy. But for myself, that no longer brings me joy in my body. But you know what? There are other things that I love to do and it's interesting. You'll find themes. I do love moving my body.

00:05:37 Speaker_00
And a few years ago when I finally bought a road bike, I was testing it out and it brought back the thrill of when I was little and first riding a bike and just taking off down the road. I literally was testing out this road bike and I was laughing.

00:05:52 Speaker_00
I'm like, this is so much fun. That is what we're looking for.

00:05:57 Speaker_00
So whether it's, you know, you decorating a cake, whether it was you doing artwork, playing a musical instrument, goofing around and playing hide and go seek with your friends, I don't know what brought you so much joy when you were a kiddo.

00:06:13 Speaker_00
and how can you find some of that in your life now? So what does that have to do with this weekend away? Well, you know what? I haven't fished in years, but when I was young, I really did enjoy that.

00:06:26 Speaker_00
So to get out in nature and learn how to bait a hook again, remind myself how to bait a hook again, and how to jig for these walleye was tremendous fun for me. And to get that you know, tug on the line and reel them in. It really brought me joy.

00:06:45 Speaker_00
But more than that, I realized being with my sisters and my parents and the laughter that we had just laughing about goofy things brought me so much joy. And also for me, being in nature brings me joy. Being up in Canadian wilderness was so beautiful.

00:07:02 Speaker_00
I love just looking and seeing water and trees and eagles and sunshine rippling on the water. That fills my heart and brings me joy.

00:07:15 Speaker_00
What brings me joy isn't going to necessarily bring you joy, although I bet things like time with loved ones and laughter will also bring you joy. So how can you get more of that in your life?

00:07:25 Speaker_00
Now, after you think about some things that you're like, wow, I really did love camping. I really did love decorating cookies, whatever it is. Think about, okay, great. I love doing that. Why am I not doing it now?

00:07:40 Speaker_00
For most people, it's going to be, I don't have time. But I'm gonna invite you to just drop that thought into the garbage can. I don't have time is a complete and utter lie that's keeping you from having the fun and joy that you desire in your life.

00:07:55 Speaker_00
You have 168 precious hours per week. I get it. Work and family obligations take up a lot of that time. But what if you could just take a couple of those precious hours and pencil in your name? What brings you joy and do it?

00:08:12 Speaker_00
The closets are always gonna need to be organized. The laundry will always need to be done. But it doesn't need to happen during your time. It's time to start creating time for you. Because if you don't, life just passes you by.

00:08:28 Speaker_00
You've heard my story and my family's tragedy in losing my dear younger sister Gretchen three years ago to suicide.

00:08:36 Speaker_00
It was sudden, it was unexpected, and she was a beautiful young woman and a beautiful mother and a physician and just an amazing human being.

00:08:46 Speaker_00
And losing her so suddenly and tragically made me realize, wow, we don't know how much time we have left on this earth. Hopefully, God willing, I've got many, many years to create memories and have fun with my family and have joy.

00:09:02 Speaker_00
And yet, we don't really know. So why are we putting off the things that bring us joy? We've gotten into this habit of delayed gratification, which again, keeps us studying when we're in college and gets us to medical school and through our training.

00:09:17 Speaker_00
But now here you are, you've arrived, quote unquote, in your life. I mean, it's always been our life, but now you've arrived. Look around. How can you create more joy? Now, again, in saying this, it doesn't mean that life is going to be full of joy.

00:09:32 Speaker_00
If you've been listening for a while, you've heard me say again and again, life is 50-50. Half of it is absolutely amazing and spectacular, and half of it, not so great. It's pretty tough.

00:09:44 Speaker_00
But how can we lean into and experience the joy, create more of that joy? We don't just have to slog on through. Yes, there's work, and let's pair it with some joy and pleasure and delight.

00:10:00 Speaker_00
Now, again, if you've been listening, you've heard me talk a lot about mindset, right? Emotions are created with how we're thinking. Joy is an emotion. So just thinking, this is fantastic for me, creates the feeling of joy.

00:10:14 Speaker_00
This is so much fun, creates the feeling of joy. and almost like a thrill in my body. And so again, could you just remember these thoughts on purpose with even more mundane things?

00:10:26 Speaker_00
You know, playing with your kiddos in the backyard, just remembering, this is fun. Hearing them laugh, this brings me joy, helps create that joy quite simply. And yet, I love for you to take an opportunity to think about, wow, is there an outing?

00:10:43 Speaker_00
Is there an adventure? Is there something that I used to do or would like to do more often in reach? If I enjoy reading, if I enjoy yoga, biking, all of the things, I have no idea what's going to be right for you.

00:10:57 Speaker_00
But those are just some ideas along with perhaps a girls weekend, perhaps an outing with your parents. I tell you what, I see my parents quite a bit. They're quite fantastic.

00:11:05 Speaker_00
But four days away with just my parents and sisters and no other folks around was a very unique opportunity for us to have time together. We all love it when the whole big wolf pack gets together, and yet this time was just very special for us.

00:11:21 Speaker_00
So maybe that's something that you'd wanna consider, to find the joy and the connection that you're looking for. And when you're in that moment, I invite you to call it out.

00:11:34 Speaker_00
When we acknowledge, wow, this brings me so much joy, I'm so grateful, we're more present in that moment. I feel like it amplifies that emotion in my body. So bask in the joy. Say it out loud to the people that you're with.

00:11:50 Speaker_00
If you're with other people, this brings me so much joy to be with you. I can literally feel my heart expanding and that warmth in my chest when I think those thoughts. And when I say them out loud, I'm just reflecting it to those around me.

00:12:05 Speaker_00
And my thought is joy is amplified when it's shared. So whether it's time alone, doing something you enjoy, time with friends, time with family, acknowledge to yourself and others, this brings me so much joy. I love this. I'd love to do more of this.

00:12:23 Speaker_00
And then look ahead on your calendar. Where can it happen? Because yes, you work so hard at home and in the hospital and clinic, and yet there is time for you. to create more joy because isn't this what life is all about?

00:12:40 Speaker_00
Thank you so much, Dad, for an amazing weekend at Lost Island Lodge. It was so much fun and I will be enjoying the pictures, enjoying the memories, and I'm sure we'll be talking about it often.

00:12:54 Speaker_00
I really appreciate you taking that time for us and sharing the joy that you have of fishing with us, the joy and love And laughter were definitely amplified. So thank you so much. I'm so grateful you're my dad. I love you.

00:13:10 Speaker_00
And to my sisters and mom, I love you as well. And to all of my listeners, I also love you. You're amazing. Thank you for tuning in. Thank you for sharing these words with others that you think would benefit. That is my mission here on Earth.

00:13:25 Speaker_00
to acknowledge yes, you're struggling. Yes, life is hard. And there are some simple things you can do to feel better. I'm here for you. That's what I do is help bring back balance, stress reduction,

00:13:41 Speaker_00
and burnout prevention to the women physician in my community and in the nation. So that's why I'm here.

00:13:49 Speaker_00
If you'd like to get more details about how to work with me, click on the link in the show notes and you will be on my reminders email series where you will get

00:13:58 Speaker_00
exclusive content where I share tips on how to achieve that elusive work-life balance, stress management, and time management on the regular. And I will also share opportunities to work with me in my group programs, StressRx for physician women.

00:14:16 Speaker_00
And I do have a few limited one-on-one slots as well. If you're interested in that, click on the link in the show notes, sign up for reminders today, and go and create some joy in your life. Until next week, peace and love to all of you.

00:14:34 Speaker_00
Are you ready to take control of your life and put these tools into action? I'm here to help. I offer free consultations for physician moms to see if my one-on-one coaching package is right for you.

00:14:47 Speaker_00
You can sign up for a free consult at www.MamaDocLifeCoach.com.