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Episode: Community Matters

Author: Michelle Chestovich MD
Duration: 00:17:22

Episode Shownotes

Physician coach Michelle Chestovich MD shares the importance of community and how you can get more involved if desired.Click here to join Stress RX waitlist.

Begins in Mid-September:https://mamadoclifecoaching.myflodesk.com/stressrxwaitlistWant info on joining Team G at YWCA sprint triathlon in 2025? Drop me a line at [email protected]

Full Transcript

00:00:00 Speaker_00
You are listening to episode 179 of the Remind Yourself Podcast. Welcome to the Remind Yourself Podcast, the podcast for physician moms just like you who want to ditch mom guilt, stop yelling, and start enjoying their lives today.

00:00:21 Speaker_00
I'm your host, Michelle Chestovich, certified life coach, family physician, and mom of four. If you want to overcome overwhelm for once and for all, this is the place for you. Hello, Mama Docs, and welcome back. I'm so glad that you're here.

00:00:41 Speaker_00
This is the second time I'm recording this podcast for you this week, because the first time I did it, I have beautiful video with all my gesticulations and there was no sound. So. Here I am coming at you again.

00:00:54 Speaker_00
I hope I'm able to convey all the amazing things that I wanted to convey because today's topic is very important. It is something that I've touched on before and I'm touching on it again because it bears repeating that community matters.

00:01:10 Speaker_00
Okay, so where did I come up with this concept that I wanted to share with you this week?

00:01:16 Speaker_00
Well, this past weekend, I participated in the YWCA Women's Triathlon in Minneapolis, Minnesota with my three teenage daughters, yay teenage daughters, and several friends.

00:01:29 Speaker_00
This is something that we've done for the last several years to come together and honor my sister Gretchen. If you've been listening for a while, you've heard me share my sister's story that she died unexpectedly by suicide back in March of 2021.

00:01:42 Speaker_00
And as a young physician woman, as a mom of three, obviously her brain was sick and she is no longer here. And I love to do things to honor her. She was amazing.

00:01:55 Speaker_00
So I speak up, I share her story, so much evidence of that in this podcast and at conferences I speak at. But this is something that's a little bit different. So about eight years ago, Gretchen and I participated in this women's triathlon.

00:02:08 Speaker_00
We thought, hey, this would be super fun to come together as sisters and have some fun. And so we did it.

00:02:15 Speaker_00
And after she died, I thought to myself, this would be something that would be super cool to do in her honor, along with other amazing women who also loved her and or who just want to amplify and honor her, even if they've never met her.

00:02:31 Speaker_00
So there have been friends of mine, friends of Gretchen's, colleagues who have come together over the years to participate on Team G in the YWCA Triathlon.

00:02:41 Speaker_00
And I will mention again at the end, but I want to let you know that if this is of interest to you, I totally invite you. You can send me an email.

00:02:48 Speaker_00
I will put my link in the show notes and you can send me an email saying, Hey, I'd love to be a part of team G and I will give you the information. In fact, sign up is already happening for the mid August triathlon next summer.

00:03:02 Speaker_00
So again, it is a sprint triathlon, all women in Minneapolis, Minnesota, and anybody is welcome to join. Okay, so why, other than this amazing fun time, do I want to share? Because again, the community aspect was so amplified for me.

00:03:20 Speaker_00
There are three things that I'm going to talk about. When we come together as community, we can share our experiences and our knowledge with others. And two, it doesn't matter how far along the continuum you are.

00:03:34 Speaker_00
So for example, in the triathlon world, maybe it's your first triathlon and there's some things that you want to learn from others like, hey, what do I need to bring? How do I get things set up? So on and so forth.

00:03:44 Speaker_00
And two, maybe it's your first triathlon, but you have something, some wisdom to share. Like, Hey, I'm a big biker. This is tip that I want to share with you.

00:03:53 Speaker_00
It helps us remember that even if we're having doubt and not feeling the best, somebody needs to hear what we have to say. So whether that's in the realm of triathlon and, or in your hospital or your clinic setting.

00:04:06 Speaker_00
you have knowledge to share, and there are others who want to help you. So whether you're a resident, you're a new attending, or you've been there for many, many years, community allows us to share the wisdom that we have and seek help.

00:04:22 Speaker_00
It's so fantastic. And case in point that it doesn't matter where you are along the spectrum, you can help others. My dear friend Jen was a part of Team G and her daughter was also there for her first triathlon. My friend Jen did it last year.

00:04:35 Speaker_00
It was amazing. She did it again this year. And at some point she said to me, Hey, I just want to check your setup. You know, you've been doing this for a bit and I want to check how you have your things set up, right?

00:04:45 Speaker_00
You've got all your gear set up by your bike, your shoes, your helmet, that sort of thing. And so I'm like, okay, well, I've done this for a few years. I'm no expert, but sure. Come and take a look.

00:04:55 Speaker_00
So she looked down at my little towel, saw my biking shoes, my socks, everything all lined up. And then she looked at me, she said, Michelle, Where are your running shoes? And my eyes got wide and I'm like, oh my goodness, they must be in my backpack.

00:05:08 Speaker_00
So I started digging in my backpack. Nope, they weren't there. So then I was like, holy buckets. I know where they are. They're in my closet. I totally forgot to put them in my backpack. I had everything set up last night, all ready to go.

00:05:22 Speaker_00
And I totally forgot them. As an aside, I texted my daughters, right? Cause I told them, but I also like, I'm a visual person. So I texted them a list of all the things that they needed to pack up.

00:05:35 Speaker_00
And when we got in the car early in the morning to get ready to go to the triathlon, I said, hey, just to double check, just to triple check. Do you have your shoes? Do you have your helmet? Do you have your goggles? Yes, mom. Yes, we've got it.

00:05:48 Speaker_00
I said, okay, great. We're on our way. So my husband amazingly took us early in the morning got us all set up, helped us unload our bikes, so on and so forth. So back to the story at hand, I look and I don't have my shoes.

00:06:00 Speaker_00
I'm like, oh my goodness, because I wore my flip-flops there. I love my flip-flops. So I wore my flip-flops, was getting ready to head down to the beach to get started. We had about 30 minutes for race time, maybe 45. I can't remember exactly.

00:06:14 Speaker_00
But at any rate, I started freaking out, texting my husband. And this is where I just have to give a shout out to my amazing husband. He's great in so many ways, and he totally saved the day. Thank you so much, Paul.

00:06:24 Speaker_00
I texted him frantically saying, hey, oh my goodness, I can't believe this, but I forgot my shoes. Would you please go and get them for me? So long story short, he was a miracle.

00:06:34 Speaker_00
Drove home 15 minutes, came back, ran across fields, and we finally met, and he gave me my shoes. So I wasn't going to have to run the 5K barefoot, which was going to be my plan.

00:06:45 Speaker_00
That seemed like a better option than running in my biking shoes with the metal clip on the bottom. Click, click, click. If you have bike shoes, you totally know what I'm talking about. At any rate, I digress.

00:06:55 Speaker_00
The whole point of this little story is that you have wisdom to share. My friend Jen is super smart in so many different areas. She's wise in so many ways.

00:07:04 Speaker_00
And then the thing she said to me, she's like, you know, you're so good at making sure everybody else has what they need. That made you forget what you need. And then so smart, she said, this should be in a podcast.

00:07:15 Speaker_00
And I said, yep, I'm going to take that away. And it totally should be in a podcast because you amazing listeners are so good at taking care of everybody in your life, in your home, at your work.

00:07:25 Speaker_00
And sometimes we forget to like double and triple check what we need. Right. And sometimes it's not as obvious as forgetting your running shoes, but sometimes it's that blatantly obvious. OK.

00:07:35 Speaker_00
So we can share our wisdom with each other and we can get help from one another. I was so grateful that my friend Jen pointed this out.

00:07:43 Speaker_00
I was so grateful that my husband, even though he was probably annoyed, I certainly would have been annoyed if I was in the opposite seat, helped me out. That is community. Number two, the amazing thing about community is we cheer each other on.

00:07:59 Speaker_00
When we were on the beach, the sun was rising. It was feeling warm on the beach, even though it's kind of a cool morning. We were high-fiving and cheering on the people around us.

00:08:08 Speaker_00
And people were saying like, wow, I wonder if it's like this at like a co-ed event. And I've been in co-ed events. I love the men as well. I've been in triathlons with men and women and races with men and women.

00:08:18 Speaker_00
And people are, you know, usually pretty jolly. But nothing like being with all women, all different shapes and sizes, all different ages are there cheering each other on.

00:08:29 Speaker_00
When people got out of the swim, yes, the crowds are there cheering people on, but so were other people.

00:08:34 Speaker_00
We were cheering, you know, I was still waiting on the beach for my wave to begin and the first swimmers were coming out and we were cheering them on.

00:08:40 Speaker_00
So too this happened when we were passing people on the bike, people from the bike were cheering on the people in the run, high-fiving people as you were going by. It was incredible.

00:08:50 Speaker_00
All folks are out there wanting to help you succeed, and if you're having a hard time, being with you in that. I saw people walking during the 5K, and people would be jogging up alongside, and then they'd start walking along. How are you doing?

00:09:03 Speaker_00
Do you just need to walk a little bit? Okay, let's go again. So whether you're flying high or having struggles, people are there to cheer you on. So too, again, now I'm going to segue back. What about in your life? Where do you need cheering on?

00:09:17 Speaker_00
Is it at work? Because I tell you what, getting off a bike, starting running, it is really, really hard. You feel horrible.

00:09:24 Speaker_00
So too, when you're up all night on call, delivering babies, operating, whatever it is that you're doing, and then you're in clinic the next day, that feels horrible. What kind of support do you need? Who needs to cheer you on?

00:09:36 Speaker_00
How can you take care of yourself in your community? And I think just to normalize like, wow, this is so hard and how can we help you is amazing.

00:09:45 Speaker_00
And again, I just can't even sing the praises enough of this amazing women's triathlon in the empowerment of women and the encouragement of one another. And again, I think I mentioned all the different ages and sizes and so on and so forth.

00:10:01 Speaker_00
And it was so cool when I wrapped up

00:10:04 Speaker_00
I was, you know, cheering on the other people that were coming in all along, you know, particularly on Team G. And that was another thing, like there's this turnaround on the bike and we'd be yelling at each other, go Team G. It was so much fun.

00:10:15 Speaker_00
But everybody stopped and went back when the announcement said, Hey, somebody's coming in. She is 82 years old. That is incredible. I hope and pray that, God willing, I live that long, I will be doing this in another 30 years.

00:10:32 Speaker_00
I have a feeling I will be, but we shall see. It was so inspiring. The young folks, the older folks, everybody just having a good time cheering each other on, because community matters.

00:10:45 Speaker_00
Thirdly, when you're in community, it's a lot more fun and there's so much laughter. We are social creatures and we are wired for connection. So where in your life are you getting connection? Is it in your neighborhood? Is it in your place of work?

00:11:03 Speaker_00
Now, here's what I'll tell you. When I was a young physician mama, and I had four kids under six, and I was super overwhelmed at work and feeling very burnt out, I very much disconnected. I went to work, and I put my head down, and I got things done.

00:11:17 Speaker_00
And then I came home and spent time with my kiddos, and that was it. I wasn't doing anything else.

00:11:23 Speaker_00
My exercise was laundry for several years until I found some people in my neighborhood and got out and started to get that community that I really didn't even know I needed. So if you too are feeling very withdrawn and very alone, You are not alone.

00:11:37 Speaker_00
There are so many people like that. How could you make one small step? Maybe you text a neighbor, a friend, say, hey, would you like to go for a 20 minute walk?

00:11:46 Speaker_00
Maybe you talk to somebody at work and say, hey, what do you think about heading out for 15 minutes and just like grabbing some lunch? I get it. We're working hard during our lunch hour. We don't get a full on break.

00:11:56 Speaker_00
But how can you make this little bit of connection? Because, again, we are wired as humans to be connected. And it is so stress relieving and so normalizing to chat with other people.

00:12:10 Speaker_00
If you haven't already listened, go back and listen to my how to complete the stress cycle. One of the things is connection.

00:12:16 Speaker_00
And if we pair that with laughter, which often happens when we're connecting with others, that's another way to complete the stress cycle. So let's do a little bit more of that. It helps us feel better. It brings more joy and fulfillment to our lives.

00:12:28 Speaker_00
And isn't that what it's all about? And yet I get it that it's hard. So what's one thing that you can do to reach out? And it could even just be sending a message to somebody. That can be connection.

00:12:40 Speaker_00
It's nicer in person, but even just a connection with a message or a little meme, I don't know if I've shared this yet, but this is something that I've learned. I'm the one who finds things and my friends are too and we send it to each other.

00:12:51 Speaker_00
Reels, my husband and I send reels sometimes back and forth. And there's, it's something called pebbling and it's reaching out and making a connection, like a bid for connection and sharing like love and connection with others.

00:13:04 Speaker_00
So it could just be that simple. But know that connection is so important and community matters.

00:13:12 Speaker_00
And in fact, not only does community matter, now I'm going to segue into at the end of the triathlon, my daughters and I put on these mental health matter shirts. Because community matters, yes, and so does taking care of ourself.

00:13:26 Speaker_00
And part of taking care of ourself is being a part of community. But again, if you're feeling withdrawn, your mood's a bit low, it's not a problem. It's just, there's nothing wrong with you.

00:13:37 Speaker_00
It's just maybe a sign that you should seek out and get some help, right? Let some trusted loved person know, say, I'm just feeling really, really withdrawn here. And I'd like to become a part of this, right?

00:13:49 Speaker_00
Build this connection, build this community, but it can start small. It doesn't have to be this huge hundreds of people. Community can be you and one or two others. That is community and that is healing. Okay, my friends.

00:14:02 Speaker_00
The YWCA Women's Triathlon in Minneapolis, Minnesota is amazing. It's happening again, I believe August 10th next year. It's a Sunday. We would love you to be a part of Team G. My sister Gretchen was such a fun person and she loved celebrations.

00:14:18 Speaker_00
She loved bringing people together with community. And by the way, she was an amazing athlete and all the things the year I did with her. She had like a less than one year old and didn't do any training and she was phenomenal. But I digress.

00:14:32 Speaker_00
The point is, this is a beautiful way to honor her and her loving people coming together and celebrating.

00:14:39 Speaker_00
So if that sounds appealing to you to be a part of the sprint triathlon, drop me an email, tell me you'd like to be a part of it and I will send you information about it. Okay.

00:14:48 Speaker_00
Another thing, if this resonates with you and you're like, yes, community is awesome. I would like more of that. you should consider joining StressRx group coaching. My next group begins in September.

00:14:59 Speaker_00
So a month from now, I'm going to be opening the door saying, hey, sign up. Spots are limited. I keep it small on purpose because I am an introvert. Kind of as loud as I am, I'm an introvert and I like to keep things small and intimate.

00:15:11 Speaker_00
So there are limited spots. So you should definitely get on the wait list. So you will be first in line. to get one of these limited seats.

00:15:20 Speaker_00
Women from around the nation come together, all different specialties, physicians who are doing inpatient, outpatient, moms, not moms. We come together, we normalize our struggles.

00:15:31 Speaker_00
And we learn tools to become more efficient, how to set boundaries without feeling like an a-hole. We learn how to relieve stress on the regular, including in the middle of the day, including in the operating room.

00:15:45 Speaker_00
You are going to learn tools that you can deploy at any time that help lower your stress. And you're going to learn to use your brain in a whole different way that helps you feel so much more in control.

00:15:57 Speaker_00
And we get after that elusive work-life balance that so many of us feel is just way out there in fantasy land. It is possible to have better control of your time. You do not need to be working nights and weekends.

00:16:10 Speaker_00
You too deserve to have a life that you enjoy. You can reclaim your joy in medicine. So I will be talking about it further, but at this point, get on the wait list so you can be first to sign up. I'd love to have you. We begin in September.

00:16:25 Speaker_00
It's a 12-week program. We meet weekly. By the beginning of the new year, you are gonna be feeling so much more in control and reclaim the joy in life and medicine that's lacking right now.

00:16:37 Speaker_00
Okay, my friends, I'm hoping that this recorded because this is the second time around, and I hope it was beneficial for you. Community matters. Reach out to somebody today, and if you're interested in joining Team G next year, send me an email.

00:16:53 Speaker_00
All right, dear friends, until next week, peace and love to all of you. Are you ready to take control of your life and put these tools into action? I'm here to help.

00:17:04 Speaker_00
I offer free consultations for physician moms to see if my one-on-one coaching package is right for you. You can sign up for a free consult at www.MamaDocLifeCoach.com.