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Episode: CNLP 691 | Leadership Red Flag: Excuse Making Leaders v. Progress Making Leaders

Author: Art of Leadership Network
Duration: 00:26:18

Episode Shownotes

There are two kinds of leaders: leaders who make excuses and leaders who make progress. A huge red flag in leadership centers on the leaders who make excuses. Carey shares how to identify excuse-making leaders, what motivates them, and how to change their behavior so you start making progress. 🔗

Show Notes 📩 On The Rise Newsletter 🗣️ Preaching Cheat Sheet 🧠 The Art of Leadership Academy 🎥 Watch on YouTube Follow @careynieuwhof Follow @theartofleadershipnetwork This episode is sponsored by: GLOO With Gloo’s free texting, you can reinforce your teachings and keep hope alive every day. This is your chance to ensure they stay rooted in their faith with daily devotional texts. Sign up today at gloo.us/freetexting. CONVOY OF HOPE Shop for gifts that do more than sit on a shelf. Share the love of Christ with those in need with Convoy’s 2024 Gift Catalog. Visit: ConvoyofHope.Org/Carey Brought to you by The Art of Leadership Network

Full Transcript

00:00:01 Speaker_00
The Art of Leadership Network. I would miss deadlines. I was perpetually late for meetings. I was just sloppy in my work. And so what would I do? Well, I would blame traffic if I was late. I would explain how my other meeting ran late.

00:00:16 Speaker_00
And I might explain that, well, if you had as much complicated stuff to deal with as I did, you wouldn't have your sermon done on time either. And you know what? After a while, I realized that is so lame.

00:00:28 Speaker_00
But what's worse is I got away with it because I was winning in other areas. Our church was growing. Same thing happened in college. In college, I almost never handed in a paper on time.

00:00:39 Speaker_00
But I got straight A's anyway, so what was the point of being on time? Similarly, our church was growing, so I kind of thought, well, other people can wait for me. But I realized I was losing self-respect.

00:00:51 Speaker_00
I was probably losing the respect of other people around me, and the results wouldn't last forever. I realized this is eventually going to catch up with me. So, years ago, I decided to make a change, to stop making excuses and start making progress.

00:01:08 Speaker_00
And thank goodness for that, because what I didn't realize is leadership would become much harder than just handing in a paper late. Welcome to the Kerry Neuhof Leadership Podcast. I hope today's episode helps you thrive in life and leadership.

00:01:25 Speaker_00
Today, we are talking about a major leadership red flag. That there's basically two kinds of leaders, leaders who make excuses and leaders who make progress. Now, I meet both kinds of leaders all the time.

00:01:38 Speaker_00
And as we'll talk about on the podcast, I have been in both camps at different seasons in my leadership. This is confession time. Now, the reason this matters is not only because the question is, which kind of leader are you?

00:01:50 Speaker_00
But the question becomes, what kind of team will you lead? Are you going to lead a team that makes excuses or a team that makes progress?

00:01:59 Speaker_00
So many leaders I know are frustrated with their team because they've got a massive vision, but their team keeps coming up with reasons why it can't happen. You know, oh, it's just too hard. Or no, no, no, let me explain.

00:02:10 Speaker_00
Or no, you don't understand, right? And then the vision dies. But sometimes the tables flip because the team has a great ambition, but their senior leader keeps making excuses instead of making progress.

00:02:24 Speaker_00
So whether this is for yourself, it's important to look in the mirror, or whether it's for your team or for the people you're going to recruit and hire, the difference between

00:02:34 Speaker_00
Excuse-making leaders and progress-making leaders is critical, and excuse-making leadership is a major red flag. It will impede, if not kill, all of your potential. Now, I'm excited to dive into this week's teaching.

00:02:48 Speaker_00
You can get show notes at kerryneuhoff.com slash episode 691 or in the description of your podcast player. Now, quick shout out to our podcast partners too. Today's episode is brought to you by Glue. Now, I know the struggle.

00:03:02 Speaker_00
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00:03:15 Speaker_00
This is a solution you need to keep your people spiritually engaged beyond Sunday. You can send out bite-sized devotional texts for free and thereby extend the impact of your sermon throughout the week.

00:03:27 Speaker_00
With Glue, you can enforce your teachings and keep hope alive every single day. This is your chance to ensure that people stay rooted in their faith with their daily devotional text. You can sign up today at glue.us slash freetexting.

00:03:41 Speaker_00
That's gloo.us slash freetexting. And today's episode is brought to you by Convoy of Hope. You can shop for more than a gift this year with Convoy of Hope's gift catalog. You can browse the entire catalog to find gifts for disaster survivors.

00:03:56 Speaker_00
such as, this is pretty touching, a baby care kit, food and water for a family, a solar lantern, a phone charger, and a whole lot more. You can add items to your shopping cart either for yourself or in honor of a family member or friend.

00:04:11 Speaker_00
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00:04:22 Speaker_00
that do more than sit on a shelf or get recycled at goodwill. Share the love of Christ with those in need by going to Convoy's 2024 gift catalog. To learn more, visit convoyofhope.org. That's convoyofhope.org. So, let's dive into today's teaching.

00:04:43 Speaker_00
There really are just two kinds of leaders. Leaders who make excuses and leaders who make progress. So let's take a look at the difference between the two because it can be hard to spot, especially in the mirror.

00:04:55 Speaker_00
I mean, super easy to spot in other people, but when it comes to you, that can be a little bit hard. So excuse-making leaders focus on the obstacles in their way rather than the opportunities in front of them.

00:05:07 Speaker_00
They've got a list of excuses ready for why their ministry or why their organization isn't thriving, and this is what it sounds like. See if this sounds familiar. Well, I just don't have the kind of people who could do that.

00:05:19 Speaker_00
Or, our context is different. It just doesn't work here. Or, we don't have the money. How about this one? I can't get permission for that kind of change. I gotta convince the board. They won't go for it. I gotta convince my boss. It's not gonna happen.

00:05:34 Speaker_00
Or, maybe it sounds like this. People in our community just aren't that interested in church anymore. We're in a pretty secular city. Or the big churches can do that because, of course, they have more resources.

00:05:45 Speaker_00
Or if kids' sports weren't on Sundays, we'd have a lot more families. Or our denomination just doesn't allow that kind of flexibility. Or, my favorite, people around here are just different. You don't get it. Okay, does any of that sound familiar?

00:06:00 Speaker_00
Maybe you've heard it from a teammate, a colleague, or maybe you've heard it from yourself more often than you want to admit. So the question then becomes, what's wrong with being an excuse-making leader?

00:06:12 Speaker_00
Well, the issue isn't that the obstacles aren't real. They might be very real. But excuse-making leaders focus on why something won't work instead of how it might work.

00:06:24 Speaker_00
And when all you see are the obstacles, they become a self-fulfilling, self-defeating prophecy. Here's what's true, leaders. You can make excuses, or you can make progress, but you can't make both. Now, this applies in every area of life and leadership.

00:06:41 Speaker_00
The leaders who make the most excuses make the least progress, and the leaders who make the most progress make the fewest excuses.

00:06:48 Speaker_00
If you have an excuse why you can't go to the gym every day, you know, your back hurts, or it's busy, or you're tired, or it's too late, or it's too early, you're not going to make any progress. That goes with leadership too.

00:07:00 Speaker_00
So the question then becomes, well, why do leaders who say they want to make progress keep making excuses, because excuses are the enemy of change, right? Think about it. If you make excuses, you won't make the change.

00:07:13 Speaker_00
If you make excuses, you won't make progress. If you make the excuses, you won't make much of anything. It just becomes way too easy, and I've done this in seasons of my life, where you blame external factors.

00:07:26 Speaker_00
But what I realized is progress-making leaders don't do that. Instead, they take responsibility. The best leaders focus on what they can control, not on what they can't. Yes, the weather's bad, but I'm going to go out anyway.

00:07:39 Speaker_00
Yes, it's late, but I'm going to get that workout in. Yes, it's early, but I'm going to get it done. Now, contrast that with progress-making leaders.

00:07:48 Speaker_00
Progress-making leaders approach the same obstacles as excuse-making leaders, but they respond differently. They don't dwell on what won't work. In fact, I want to focus on three key differences between excuse-makers and progress-makers.

00:08:04 Speaker_00
Progress-making leaders see the circumstances as a challenge to be met, not a reason to quit. Yep, this is going to be hard. but we're going to do it. We're up to it. Okay? That's difference number one.

00:08:16 Speaker_00
Number two, progress-making leaders get curious, not cynical. It's so easy to get cynical and go, yeah, you're right. It is hard. I don't think it's going to work. It didn't work for this guy. It's not going to work for me.

00:08:28 Speaker_00
What if you got curious and you said, well, I wonder what we would need to do to crack the code. And then the third difference is progress-making leaders focus on what's possible, not what's probable.

00:08:41 Speaker_00
Okay, if you're planting a church, there's a majority chance it's going to fail. That's probable. But what if you became the possibility? If you're starting a business, starting a company, you know the math, chances are it's going to fail.

00:08:55 Speaker_00
But what if you focused on what's possible, not on what's probable? You see, when you do this, as a result, progress-focused leaders make progress, not excuses, and this is how that plays out in real life.

00:09:07 Speaker_00
Instead of saying, I don't have the kind of people who could do that, Progress-making leaders might just add one simple word, that might be true, but they might say, I don't have the kind of people who could do that. yet.

00:09:19 Speaker_00
However, we will figure it out." Then they get curious. Who do I know that could help? Who are the best leaders I already have? Could I start with them? Could I make a small beginning here and get going?

00:09:30 Speaker_00
So, progress-making leaders, instead of saying, our context is different, that doesn't work here, instead say, well, what is working here? Yeah, it's hard, but what is working? What are other organizations or churches doing that are successful?

00:09:45 Speaker_00
What are they responding to? And if a church could succeed here, what would it take? And similarly, instead of saying, we don't have the money, progress-making leaders would ask, well, what could we do differently with the resources we have?

00:10:00 Speaker_00
Or who might be willing to step up? Or are there other funding sources we could tap into? Or what if our vision was bigger? Would the money follow if we just raised a high level of vision? You see, they see things differently. Do you see the difference?

00:10:15 Speaker_00
It's not that progress-focused leaders don't see the obstacles. They do. It's that they don't see them as insurmountable. They choose to see the opportunities that overcome the obstacles.

00:10:28 Speaker_00
Progress-making leaders stop making excuses, and in doing so, they start making meaningful progress. So the question becomes, well, what do you do? It's not like leaders who make progress have it easier than leaders who make excuses.

00:10:42 Speaker_00
They face the same circumstances. And sometimes, if you do some case studies, the circumstances that progress-making leaders face are worse than some of the excuse-making leaders. But here's the key difference.

00:10:55 Speaker_00
It's the difference between seeing something as an explanation or a justification. It boils down to how you handle the obstacles you face. So what do you do?

00:11:06 Speaker_00
Well, I want to break down one big difference between progress-making leaders and excuse-making leaders. It's the difference between whether you see an obstacle as an explanation or a justification. Obstacles can act both ways, right?

00:11:21 Speaker_00
It's the same set of facts. It's how you treat it. Justifications lead to stagnation. Explanations lead to transformation. So think about it this way. Two leaders are facing the same kind of obstacle.

00:11:34 Speaker_00
If you look at it as a justification, it will shut down progress immediately because it basically says this is why it can't be done. Or you might say, our services can't compete with the beach on a sunny day. We just can't do it.

00:11:47 Speaker_00
It's a justification, right? Weather's beautiful. Nobody's going to come to church. Or you might say, it was so much easier to do church when sports weren't on Sundays. And you see what you're doing. Sports is on Sunday. That's a big deal.

00:12:00 Speaker_00
But you're using it as a justification. Or you might say, the real problem is this next generation or their parents or both. It's not my fault. It's theirs. The language of justification is the language of losing.

00:12:14 Speaker_00
It's what people use when they're waiting for someone or something else to change. But, conversely, explanations fuel progress. Think of Edison's famous thousands of failed attempts at the light bulb. He didn't see these failures as reasons to quit.

00:12:30 Speaker_00
but as explanations that led to success. So, as he put it, I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that won't work to create a light bulb. That is the mindset that progress-making leaders have.

00:12:45 Speaker_00
Progress-making leaders will ask questions like, well, what makes the beach so attractive? How do we elevate our mission to the point where it becomes a more compelling thing than the beach on a beautiful Sunday?

00:12:57 Speaker_00
Or they might say, well, sports on Sunday, yep, they've been around for decades. Yet, think about it. Other churches experience massive growth despite that, and they reach thousands of people. What can we learn from them, and what do we need to change?

00:13:11 Speaker_00
Or they might say things like, Well, what could we specifically do if we're struggling with the next generation to partner with the next generation and their parents and gain an inroad?

00:13:21 Speaker_00
In a nutshell, progress-making leaders use obstacles as explanations, not justifications. That's why they move forward while others stay stuck. So what do you do if you're an excuse-making leader?

00:13:34 Speaker_00
It's a great question, and I want to draw from my own experience because that was me in college and in my early leadership. Early in my leadership, I would miss deadlines. I was perpetually late for meetings. I was just sloppy in my work.

00:13:48 Speaker_00
And so what would I do? Well, I would blame traffic if I was late.

00:13:52 Speaker_00
I would explain how my other meeting ran late, and I might explain that, well, if you had as much complicated stuff to deal with as I did, you wouldn't have your sermon done on time either. And you know what?

00:14:04 Speaker_00
After a while, I realized that is so lame. But what's worse is I got away with it because I was winning in other areas. Our church was growing. Same thing happened in college. In college, I almost never handed in a paper on time.

00:14:18 Speaker_00
But I got straight A's anyway, so what was the point of being on time? Similarly, our church was growing, so I kind of thought, well, other people can wait for me. But I realized I was losing self-respect.

00:14:30 Speaker_00
I was probably losing the respect of other people around me, and the results wouldn't last forever. I realized this is eventually going to catch up with me. So, years ago, I decided to make a change, to stop making excuses and start making progress.

00:14:47 Speaker_00
And thank goodness for that, because what I didn't realize is leadership would become much harder than just handing in a paper late or showing up on time for a meeting.

00:14:56 Speaker_00
As a leader, you and your team are always wrestling down internal and external forces. And I hear way too many leaders blame the culture, blame the economy or things outside their control for their lack of progress.

00:15:09 Speaker_00
And having been a reformed person who did that myself, I have empathy for it, but I also promise you it doesn't get you very far. Excuse-making leaders see forces as obstacles. Progress-making leaders see them as opportunities.

00:15:24 Speaker_00
So I want to take you back to a moment in time. Some of you will remember because you were leading through it. Some of you read about this in history class. But do you remember the stock market crash in 2008, what happened? I do.

00:15:36 Speaker_00
It was one of the worst economic downturns in American history and the worst crash since the Great Depression. $8 trillion in stock market value was wiped out, people lost $9 trillion in wealth on their homes, and unemployment reached 10%.

00:15:53 Speaker_00
A few years ago, somebody asked me how I led during a recession because I'd been leading for a few decades, and I looked at the calendar and then I connected the dots in a way I hadn't prior to that. And I kind of realized, you know what?

00:16:06 Speaker_00
We actually launched Conexus during the Great Recession. I kind of knew that was happening. Of course, I was listening to the news. But on the other hand, I didn't really connect the two. So the two things were simultaneously true, but

00:16:21 Speaker_00
I didn't really think, oh yeah, this is going to be so bad, we have to overcome it. And my goodness, there were terrible economic conditions.

00:16:28 Speaker_00
In fact, I remember a month before we launched Kinexus, we had a vendor who had pledged to give us a half million dollars alone. pull out because the stock market was tanking.

00:16:40 Speaker_00
So that was devastating, but I also realized I couldn't let the economy become the driving narrative for our church, because if I did, we would never launch. So I thought, what could we do? So in 10 days,

00:16:53 Speaker_00
In late 2007, as the markets began to wobble and crash and the subprime crisis made headline news, I decided I'm just going to have to raise the money we lost. And I didn't even have charitable status yet.

00:17:06 Speaker_00
It was probably one of the toughest leadership situations we'd ever been in because the church didn't exist. I didn't have charitable status. So what did I do? I went around and I told every potential donor, hey, We got this church.

00:17:20 Speaker_00
We have an incredible vision to reach on church people. I may never be able to issue you a tax receipt. I didn't mention the economy was tanking. I figured out that they could see that for themselves. But I said, hey, we got this incredible

00:17:34 Speaker_00
launch coming up. I held meetings. I cast a big vision for reaching unchurched people. I made phone calls, called everybody. I remember calling one guy on a golf course in Scotland going, hey, we just lost a loan. We need to raise some money.

00:17:47 Speaker_00
Can you help? We hosted multiple dinners for donors in my home. And in 10 days, by the grace of God, while the economy wobbled, we raised $550,000 cash to launch Kinexus. That's in the midst of a great recession.

00:18:04 Speaker_00
In that first year, while the markets cascaded into a doomsday spiral, we raised over a million dollars through ministry in the end, and we only got our charitable status at the 11th hour. It was nothing short of a miracle, and I'm so thankful.

00:18:20 Speaker_00
You know what the Great Recession was? Depending on how you looked at it, it was a great startup incubator. Not only did our church launch, but some major companies started in the midst of the Great Recession and its aftermath.

00:18:33 Speaker_00
Did you know household names like Airbnb, Uber, Slack, Square, and Instagram were all started in the middle of or immediately after the Great Recession? You see, other leaders saw probability. Opportunity leaders saw possibility.

00:18:50 Speaker_00
They, instead of explaining why ride-sharing or opening your home wouldn't work, focused on what might work, what they could get going. They got curious, and even in the midst of the worst recession since 1930, They launched, and they won.

00:19:06 Speaker_00
Some leaders just saw the obstacles, they saw opportunity, and others saw what was happening, and they moved right ahead.

00:19:13 Speaker_00
So I didn't exactly start a multi-billion dollar startup during the Great Recession, but it reminded me we did, by the grace of God, launch a church. So the question becomes, what do you see? Obstacles? or opportunities.

00:19:27 Speaker_00
And then what are you going to do? Are you going to see your situation as an explanation, here's why it's not going to work, or a justification? What will you choose? To make excuses or to make progress? Because you can't make both.

00:19:41 Speaker_00
And now a quick word from one of our partners. Today's episode is brought to you by Preaching Cheat Sheet. A recent study showed that 46% of pastors say one of their biggest struggles is feeling like attendees don't absorb or use what they preach.

00:19:57 Speaker_00
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00:20:07 Speaker_00
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00:20:19 Speaker_00
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00:20:32 Speaker_00
It's something I still use to this day, even after decades of preaching. I love filling out each of the steps as I write my sermon, and then I sit down to review the message the night before, and I can go in with

00:20:43 Speaker_00
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00:20:56 Speaker_00
That's preachingcheatsheet.com to download your copy for free. And now back to the conversation. So what do you see? Excuses or progress? That's really the fundamental question you've got as a leader. Now, we're almost at the end.

00:21:12 Speaker_00
I'm going to give you some practical tips. But right now, I've got a final objection. Some of you have listened this far. Some of you have swung over. You're going to focus on opportunities, not obstacles.

00:21:21 Speaker_00
But a few of you might be saying, well, thanks, Kerry. I appreciate it. But you don't understand. My context really is different. So I've been all over the world and people are different, but there's so many similarities.

00:21:35 Speaker_00
I think the great leaders figure out, okay, what is going to work? Because if your context really is that different, guess what? Apple wouldn't sell iPhones in your area. They would say, you're right. Your context is so different.

00:21:48 Speaker_00
No one's using an iPhone. Or none of the kids would buy Playstations or play Fortnite. General Motors probably wouldn't bother to set up car dealerships in your community. Starbucks would say, totally right, your context is different.

00:22:01 Speaker_00
Dunkin' Donuts is not gonna sell coffee because nobody in your community wants it. And they probably don't wear Nikes or hokas either.

00:22:09 Speaker_00
Finally, Netflix and Amazon would black out your area because clearly TV series and online shopping doesn't resonate where you live. See what I'm saying? No. The key is to focus on what is common to the human experience.

00:22:24 Speaker_00
And I'm guessing that no matter how different you think your context is, People probably watch movies, they wear running shoes, they use smartphones, and companies have figured out how to speak into the common human experience where you're at.

00:22:39 Speaker_00
So leaders, you can make excuses, you can make progress, but you can't make both. So the question becomes, will you be a leader who makes excuses or will you be a leader who makes progress?

00:22:51 Speaker_00
And as we wrap up, I want to focus on three takeaways, three things you can do. Number one, If you're a leader who makes excuses, make today the day you stop. Stop seeing obstacles as justifications. Start seeing them as explanations.

00:23:07 Speaker_00
Yes, the economy isn't great, and yes, you're going to figure out how to work around it. Yes, you're busy, and you're going to cut the meeting short so you can get to the next one on time. Yes, you're swamped, but you're going to hit the deadline.

00:23:21 Speaker_00
Yep, you're going to brainstorm around how you and your church can be the exception to whatever limit you're facing. Second thing I want you to do is call it out on your team. When you see excuses on your team, call it out. Explain to somebody, hey,

00:23:37 Speaker_00
You know what? I noticed that the deadline for this was yesterday. It's not in. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Say, okay, was the deadline not clear? Was the assignment ambiguous? Was the meeting time unclear?

00:23:50 Speaker_00
Like, ask them those questions, and they'll probably go like, no, it was clear. And then say, all right, well, listen, the expectation here is that we hit deadlines. So next time we do this, you're on time. Next time, you hit the deadline.

00:24:03 Speaker_00
Next time, you're early, and I'm going to hold you accountable. Now, you have to make sure that you've got your own house in order when you do this, all right? But that's a great way to change the team culture.

00:24:15 Speaker_00
So give them the benefit of the doubt, but then hold them accountable. And third, look for the distinction between excuse-making leaders and progress-making leaders when you're hiring or recruiting.

00:24:27 Speaker_00
Ask them about a time they failed or missed a deadline. Ask and listen for the language. And as you drill down, if they blame other people or other factors, that is a major red flag.

00:24:38 Speaker_00
If they're like, well, you know, it was a tough church, or I had a bad boss, or it was a rough economy, or in that context, people just weren't responsive, you know what? That may all be true, but what did they do about it?

00:24:53 Speaker_00
All right, if they're blaming everybody and everything, that's a major red flag. I would not hire them. Now, if they take responsibility and say, I had a really difficult boss, things are really hard there, but here's what I did.

00:25:04 Speaker_00
This is what was in my control, and this is what I did to attempt to respond. Now, that's a different thing. That is a green flag in leadership. Because we all run into tough circumstances, but how we handle them is all the difference in the world.

00:25:19 Speaker_00
So, as we wrap up, are you ready to make progress? If so, today is the day to stop making excuses. And as you and your team embrace that, everything changes. Got a couple of invitations before we go.

00:25:32 Speaker_00
If you want to make some quick and profound progress, I'd love to invite you into my private online community where you can engage and grow with other like-minded leaders who are committed to healthy, growing churches. I've got

00:25:46 Speaker_00
comprehensive online courses, live coaching calls that I do with leaders, and a forum to ask any leadership question you'll have.

00:25:54 Speaker_00
And you'll discover new strategies, you'll build practical day-to-day skills, and get immediate feedback from people who have led through very similar circumstances, sometimes the exact challenges you're facing.

00:26:06 Speaker_00
You can keep learning from your own mistakes, you can hobble around the internet and try to find answers, or you can fast-track your growth and learn directly from people who have been in your shoes before, including directly from me.

00:26:19 Speaker_00
When I show up in the community most days each week, It's me. It's not a team member. It's not a bot. It's really me. So what do you say?

00:26:27 Speaker_00
If you want to stop making excuses and start making progress, visit theartofleadershipacademy.com and get started today. That's theartofleadershipacademy.com to learn more and join today. And make sure you check out our partners.

00:26:42 Speaker_00
Almost every pastor I know wants to make sure their sermon gets past the parking lot. Try Glue's free texting. With Glue, you can reinforce your teaching via text every single day or as often as you want and keep hope alive.

00:26:55 Speaker_00
You can sign up today at glue.us slash free texting and shop for gifts that do more than sit on a shelf. Share the love of Christ with those in need. Go to Convoy's 2024 gift catalog visit convoyofhope.org. Well, that's everything for today.

00:27:12 Speaker_00
Thanks so much for listening, everybody. I truly appreciate the opportunity to do this. If you enjoyed this podcast, leave a rating, review, a comment if you're watching it on YouTube, and maybe share it with a friend. Send them the link.

00:27:25 Speaker_00
And I hope our conversation today helped you identify and break a growth barrier you're facing.