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Episode: Be your own Fairy Godmother!

Author: Michelle Chestovich MD
Duration: 00:11:24

Episode Shownotes

Physician coach Michelle Chestovich MD shares a fun strategy to make your tough weeks easier.

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Full Transcript

00:00:00 Speaker_00
You are listening to Episode 173 of the Remind Yourself Podcast. Welcome to the Remind Yourself Podcast, the podcast for physician moms just like you who want to ditch mom guilt, stop yelling, and start enjoying their lives today.

00:00:22 Speaker_00
I'm your host, Rachelle Chestevich, certified life coach, family physician, and mom of four. If you want to overcome overwhelm for once and for all, this is the place for you. Hello Mama Docs and welcome back.

00:00:40 Speaker_00
I am thrilled to be here with you today and I wanted to share just a little milestone with all of you. I found it to be pretty cool and so I wanted to share it with you, my amazing listeners. I, before I

00:00:53 Speaker_00
I sit down and record this podcast for all of you.

00:00:56 Speaker_00
I typically go for a walk with my dogs and think about what has been coming up in my group coaching lately, or maybe a question a one-on-one client has asked me, or maybe something that I've been working through.

00:01:08 Speaker_00
Whatever the case may be, I come up with an idea. And then I sit down in a little rifle paper journal and I take some notes. And then I sit down and record for all of you.

00:01:20 Speaker_00
And today when I was jotting down my bullet points that I wanted to discuss, I realized I was at the end of journal number three. Ladies and gentlemen, that is so exciting to me.

00:01:30 Speaker_00
Yes, I know it's been 173 episodes, which is super cool and I'm super proud. And it's just the beginning, but it just really hit me when I grabbed all these journals out of my desk drawer that I've now gone through three of them.

00:01:45 Speaker_00
So I'm off to find another cool, cute-looking journal, and it's just a sign that there are so many things that I want to share with all of you.

00:01:53 Speaker_00
I mean, I guess that's kind of the point, like, yes, I've shared all of this with you, and there's still so much more that I want to talk about. So if you have any pressing things that you would like me to discuss, please drop me an email.

00:02:04 Speaker_00
I'll put a link in the show notes. And thank you to all of you who tune in every week and who share it with a friend who says, wow, this is really meaningful for me. And you share it with a friend.

00:02:14 Speaker_00
And many of you have rated and reviewed and I'm so grateful. People who I meet at conferences or they drop emails saying that something that they heard really helped them in their life.

00:02:27 Speaker_00
That's like my mission on earth is to help physicians be well, to set boundaries, to say no, to ask themselves what it is that they truly desire. Okay, so that is the work that I'm doing. That's why you tune in every week.

00:02:39 Speaker_00
And I just wanted to share with you this cool, fun little milestone that I filled up three rifle paper journals, and it's time for me to go find a new one.

00:02:47 Speaker_00
Okay, today I'm going to talk about something that I hear often from physician women that we don't have enough time and that we feel that we have to do everything. Totally get it. I've totally been there.

00:02:59 Speaker_00
But that makes us feel really overwhelmed when we think that we don't have help and that we think we don't have time to do things. So I want to share something that I believe I've talked about in the past, but it's being your own best furry godmother.

00:03:12 Speaker_00
This is a concept that I talk with my clients about. So for instance, they're going to be on a call week and life is going to be a bit more hairy than usual.

00:03:19 Speaker_00
So I say, wow, if somebody could just like step in and make things easier for you, what would that look like? So this is the exercise that I would like you to go through this week. What would make, for instance, your call

00:03:32 Speaker_00
week or your post call day easier and smoother? Would it be having a meal ready to go? Would it be always ordering pizza that post call day? Would it be what? I don't know what it's going to be.

00:03:45 Speaker_00
But think about what would be helpful and how could you easily institute that. Right now, of course, we always joke like if only we could clone ourselves, we could get all these things done. Yeah, well, that's sort of fantasy land.

00:03:57 Speaker_00
But you know better than anyone else what would be helpful. Because another thing I hear is not only like, oh my gosh, I have to do it all and I don't have enough time to do all this.

00:04:05 Speaker_00
Then we get kind of resentful maybe at our partners and angry because like, why can't they see what needs to be done? You can use your voice and ask for help. Number two, you can just decide, hey, this is something that I'm going to need, right?

00:04:19 Speaker_00
So for instance, a post call day may look like I need to come home and just crawl into bed no matter what. I'm not going to have any to-dos on my list, right? Be your own best fairy godmother. Would she clear the day for you?

00:04:34 Speaker_00
Would she give you a day off when you come back from vacation to get caught up on emails and messages and so on and so forth? It's going to be different for each and every one of us.

00:04:44 Speaker_00
But the really cool thing is you know in your heart what would be helpful. Be your own best fairy godmother. Not only do you know what would be helpful, you know how to get things done.

00:04:55 Speaker_00
Maybe you ask a teen neighbor to come over and, you know, do all the laundry for you that week. Again, I don't know. It's just something that came to mind, but I want you to think about it. And this doesn't just have to be post-call or post-call week.

00:05:08 Speaker_00
So those are things that are just big things that come up that feel very onerous and we're usually exhausted at the end of it. So like, how could you make that better for yourself? That's something I want you to think about.

00:05:18 Speaker_00
but also even just day-to-day. How could your Fairy Godmother come in and wave her magic wand and make things better day-to-day? Would she have things prepped the night before? Maybe you take five minutes the night before and get your coffee set up.

00:05:33 Speaker_00
What a beautiful gift for you when you wake up in the morning. Thank you, Fairy Godmother, for having this ready for me, that after I, you know, get off my Peloton bike for 30 minutes, I've got coffee.

00:05:43 Speaker_00
Or, if you like to do it my way, I have the coffee before I exercise often. Again, what would be wonderful and see how you could make that done.

00:05:52 Speaker_00
And maybe even your fairy godmother, not only does she help you and think ahead and do a little bit of work ahead of time to give your future self a gift, but she may also delight you.

00:06:03 Speaker_00
Because who better than you to know that you really love these particular flowers that they always sell at Trader Joe's?

00:06:11 Speaker_00
Who better than you to know that this particular dark chocolate with the almond crunch is your absolute favorite and it's just a lovely treat to have every now and then, right? How often do you stop and think about what would be delightful?

00:06:26 Speaker_00
What would be so helpful for me? And then either do it for yourself ahead of time and or get help in order to do it. Right? I remember last year about this time, I was working with a surgeon and she was going to be on call the 4th of July week.

00:06:42 Speaker_00
And, you know, we talked about this. What would make things easier for you? She said, wow, it sure would be great to just have all kinds of healthy food when I come home.

00:06:51 Speaker_00
So her fairy godmother went out and stocked the refrigerator with ready to go meals. with fresh fruit and veggies that were already cut up. She thought about what would be helpful, and then she made it happen.

00:07:03 Speaker_00
And I do this time and again with the women that I work with. I help them realize, like, yeah, we can rant and rave and wish that it would be different, and wouldn't it be great if someone would just come in and help me?

00:07:12 Speaker_00
Yeah, all of those things would be good, but first it comes back to, like, what would be helpful? And who could you either hire to help you do these things, and or how can you do them for yourself ahead of time?

00:07:25 Speaker_00
Again, for each and every one of you listening, it's going to be different. But some ideas I have, because again, in living a life as a physician mama for 20 years and having four little kiddos in my house, morning times were a bear.

00:07:39 Speaker_00
And evening times were what I used to call the witching hour. So those are really tough times a day. So if I could go back 15 years, I would ask myself, what would be helpful? How can I do something to make this time easier?

00:07:52 Speaker_00
And for me, it would probably be just like have a very simple plan in place, probably something like have, you know, things prepped and ready to go, have things done the night before, have the kiddos pack up their bags, whatever it is.

00:08:05 Speaker_00
Again, I know many of you are doing this. This is not rocket science. And yet, many times it doesn't happen. And we run around life reactively, like chickens with our head cut off, just trying to put out fires.

00:08:18 Speaker_00
And again, ranting and raving and wishing it would be different. Take some time this week and think, wow, if I could wave a wand, what would I make happen?

00:08:28 Speaker_00
Now again, unfortunately, our magic wands don't change the system of medicine and make it all perfect and have, you know, three-to-one nursing, all of those wonderful things.

00:08:38 Speaker_00
But given the actual circumstances that you have, the home that you're living in, the family that you're with, the work that you do, how could things be turned, you know, turn the dial as I always like to say, to make it 5% better?

00:08:52 Speaker_00
or even like 100% better. How can you treat yourself when times are more challenging? Maybe your fairy godmother says, you know what? On these call weeks, you go to bed at nine o'clock. That's just the way you do it, right?

00:09:05 Speaker_00
Once you come home, you're in bed. I'm going to stop giving ideas because you know better than I what you desire from your fairy godmother. Have a chat with her. See what she might even suggest.

00:09:18 Speaker_00
Take five minutes and just grab a journal and start doing some stream of consciousness. These things would help me so much. And then think about how you could make that happen.

00:09:28 Speaker_00
Again, whether it's yourself, whether it's asking your partner for help, maybe it's hiring help, but there are so many things that we can do for ourself. And instead of feeling like the martyr, like, oh my gosh, I have to do everything.

00:09:40 Speaker_00
You're seeing it as a gift to yourself ahead of time, and that's what our Fairy Godmother does. She looks ahead, sees some of the obstacles that are coming, and she lays a plan and makes things easier for us during the course of the week.

00:09:54 Speaker_00
That's what I desire for you. I want you to have more ease. I want you to have more time. I want you to have more peace. And your own Fairy Godmother lives within you, and she can help you with this. So I'm excited for you to give this a shot.

00:10:10 Speaker_00
This works, my friends, because you know better than anybody what would be helpful. Let your fairy godmother go to work alongside with you to make next week even smoother.

00:10:22 Speaker_00
Okay, my friends, I love chatting with you and I want to let you know that I now have an email series that I send out a few times a week with even more tips on time management, stress reduction, and work-life balance.

00:10:37 Speaker_00
So if you're not already on my email list, you've got to click on the link in the show notes and grab that. So you can get these reminders in your inbox on the regular.

00:10:47 Speaker_00
This is exclusive content that I only share in the email series and you don't want to miss out. So click on the link in the show notes, get on my reminders email series, and until next week, peace and love to all of you.

00:11:01 Speaker_00
Are you ready to take control of your life and put these tools into action? I'm here to help. I offer free consultations for physician moms to see if my one-on-one coaching package is right for you.

00:11:14 Speaker_00
You can sign up for a free consult at www.MamaDocLifeCoach.com.